How to have a good attitude?!

I want to have a better attitude about healing from lyme.

Right now 3 weeks or so off abx and I am just so obsessed with every little symptom. Ugh! I would rather just be living my life, letting things come and go as they do, and assuming I am well unless I am really not well.

For example, yesterday I was exhausted all day. I dropped my child off at school and slept the entire day until they came home. ( lucky that I was able to do that, I know). So of course I jumped to the conclusion that it was the lyme back in full force. ugh.
But then by the night time I was feeling much better, and today I am not exhausted, just sort of a little tired but not too bad. So really maybe I just had a tired day.

Then, because of the previous lyme anxiety, now every single time I feel any anxiety I jump to the conclusion that it is the lyme acting up. Then it passes and I think, well maybe not.

It has been like this for me for the last two weeks. Just obsessing about everything and hoping I am well. I wish I could have a better attitude, where I didn't really pay so much attention to this all- where I focused on happier things in my life, and just let it be what it is. Instead I get into this like devastated mode every time I have a bad feeling, and assume the worst.

At this point I see my llmd in one week. So I just have to keep documenting my symptoms and we will asses it together at my next appointment.

Today I feel okay- a little bit of anxiety is making me a little nervous. But it seems like I seem to present with one different thing each day. Like yesterday was fatigue, today just a tiny bit of anxiety. I hate anxiety.

But the fatigue is not bad. A little tired actually. But I just want to have a better attitude- Lyme has taken so much from me. It has taken my ability to be self secure, to feel at ease. I want to feel at ease again.

I really don't know at this point if my lyme is back or not.

The symptoms of lym for me have been so weird and not straightforward ( anxiety, ears, and fatigue mostly).

I don't have flu feelings or achy joints. All my symptoms were/are in my head- so it is difficult to figure out what is caused by mental things and what is caused by a lyme infection.

How can I get my inner peace and well being back, and a more peaceful attitude? I mean, I already practice yoga and am working on meditation ( mostly thinking about it and reading about it more than doing it yet).

but like, this morning I woke up and I felt a little woozy in my head. So I told my husband- you have to take our kid to school- I can't do it- ah! ( which would make him late to work-- which is okay because he works for his family but still h hates being late to work).

So I ended up taking our kid to school and I was totally fine, dealing with other people and everything I didn't feel dizzy/wooshy. So it was kind of like I had to find the mental attitude to be okay and not be obsessing about lyme symptoms.

anyway- tomorrow we go on a trip to see family- and I hope I can be okay. My family understands and if I don't feel well they will let me rest and help with childcare and stuff. But I was just hoping by now I would feel all the way better.

Right now at this moment the only "symptom" I have is a slight current of anxiety. But I can't tell if maybe I am becoming dependent on valium at this point- and wonder if that actually causes a little anxiety. It is not a huge anxiety I am feeling, just a little undercurrent of it. My head feels a little wooshy, my fatigue is okay, ears pretty good.

All in all not too terrible. But still, every time I feel even a little anxious I just jump to the worst conclusion. I want to develop a better attitude. I want to believe I am better-- and will continue to get/stay better. And that even if I am not better that I will eventually get better.

I am grateful that I have an experienced llmd that I trust. I think he will be able to help me no mater what, even if it takes longer than we had thought. I just don't know what to make of this and I jus don't know how much of how I feel is lyme and how much is just mental weakness from being traumatized by lyme.

Kate I see that you have finished treatment but the damage that Lyme can leave behind can take awhile to heal. Are you taking any supplements? And if not may I suggest a few to help you not only ease the transition but mentally help you heal as well as physically.

Ashwaghanda is a very good herb for mental.stress and anxiety.
Vitamin C, cats claw, and Japanese knotweed are good immune supporters.
And a good multi vitamin. This might help your body during this transition period.

Also NT factor and acetyl l carnitine might be helpful to heal mitochondrial damage heal that happened when you were sick which can be a contributed to tour fatigue.

Hope this helps.

Which brands of NT factor and acetly l cartinine do you recommend? Can you get them from amazon?