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Three really bad days--some of the worst

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Posted 11/21/2014 1:17 AM (GMT 0)
I never stay in bed, even when I feel really awful, but I have been almost completely bed ridden.

On Monday night, I don't think I slept all night, and then on Tuesday, I was so tired, I didn't take any of my medication or supplements, and hardly ate anything.

I got out of bed to feed the dogs. I put off going to the bathroom as much as I could

Preparing food was completely out of the question.

I did my computer thing, and I hope I didn't send any stupid emails!! I know I wrote at least one stupid post.

I was really hot and sweaty, and had the shakes, and yet I had very little fever. It makes no sense.

Yesterday, I felt a little better, and went and got groceries, and tried to walk the dogs (brrr), but I felt super light-headed all day. I answered posts, then, when I went to bed, I couldn't sleep until 3:30 a.m. again, but I was too tired to get out of bed. Last night, I slept in chunks, and wasn't able to get up until 2:30 p.m. Now, it's about 8:20, and I'm already tired again, yet, if I go to bed, I most likely won't sleep until dawn.

I went to town to get dogfood and have dinner with two friends, and my friend K. said that I looked great for having told her I was so sick. How am I supposed to handle that? I just said, "thanks."

I'm usually ok being alone etc. as long as I can take care of myself, but I have been upset and crying a lot, because I've barely even been able to prepare food for myself.

I think my body is trying to get me to accept the fact that I'm sick.

Sorry about the bummer post.

Margaret
Posted 11/21/2014 1:24 AM (GMT 0)
So sorry to hear this!

Hope you feel better soon!
Posted 11/21/2014 1:57 AM (GMT 0)
I am so sorry you are feeling so badly righty now! I so understand about the sleeping problems. I had horrible issues with insomnia last month and didn't know how I was going to make it for almost two weeks. I didn't know how my body could even keep going I was so exhausted, and yet I laid awake almost every night, on the verge of falling asleep, but just couldn't. The nights I did manage to sleep, it was only a few hours.

I've also had a very emotional and anxiety filled week with lots of crying every day. I know part of it is just being scared of what's to come (I still have a little less than two months until I get to see a LLMD) and part of it is whatever is wreaking havoc on my body. I know it is messing with my brain and my thoughts. But I know somehow I will get through it and you will too.

I feel for you! I hope you are able to sleep soon and please hang in there! You are not alone.
Posted 11/21/2014 3:01 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks Buzzbomb,

That's nice.

I go to bed because I think all I CAN do is sleep, and I'm absolutely exhausted, but even then, I still can't sleep. I can't even take naps.

It is hard to hang in there sometimes.

Margaret
Posted 11/21/2014 3:50 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Margaret!

Bummer that you are going through this. It would be so nice if we could find a way to fall asleep easily.

So here are some of the things that I have tried to fall asleep when I can't sleep. Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't.

I close my eyes and imagine a huge white wall. I then paint a black dot in it. I then focus my sight on this black dot and no matter what, I don't take my imaginary eyes off of it. You see, when I can't sleep my mind goes crazy reviewing everything that I did all day and then i thing of a 100 different versions of each incident. My mind cannot be at rest. So focusing on this dot on the wall keeps me from thinking of all that other stuff and next thing I know I have fallen asleep.

One other thing that I do is I focus on my breathing. I slowly take slower breaths and focus my mind on my breathing. This again will keep my mind from thinking about all the other stuff. I then fall asleep.

As for supplements, Turmeric powder at night is great and so is a cup of green tea an hour before bed.
Posted 11/21/2014 4:07 AM (GMT 0)
I haven't been able to stand up long enough to make food for a couple months. Every now and then I can.. but not very often. I sit down in the shower. I had to have my brother help me down the stairs because I had double vision so bad.

I don't really have advice. I watch TV alot. I was crocheting and it felt good to make stuff but my hands bleed all over everything and it's gross. Plus they are so stiff I can hardly put my hair in a ponytail.

I try to watch funny stuff. When I really want to sleep I put on a movie or show I've seen a thousand times. I don't know why it works but it does. I get bored I guess. Take your pain medicine if you have some. I can't sleep if I'm hurting.
Posted 11/21/2014 5:18 AM (GMT 0)
So sorry Margaret—it IS hard to hang in there sometimes. And not being able to sleep is sometimes the worst part about this craziness. I love Healing98's "dot on the wall" meditation.

You're not supposed to do this but I turn on the tv or drag my laptop into bed with me and watch something I'm not interested in and sometimes I cam fall right to sleep. A couple times I got up and did something—brushed my teeth, did the dishes, organized a shelf in my closet. Or did something that required no effort or getting out of bed (it's winter!) like dry brushing or I stretched or just gave my whole body a "rub down" where I gently just swept my hand across every inch of my skin. Breathing exercises work really well too.

Hope you can push past these bad days and try to refocus…

-p
Posted 11/21/2014 11:06 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Sweetie.

I'm going through hell right now too. Same kind of symptoms as you. I bounce between my bed and the sofa. I have got ton so much sicker since starting meds 2 months ago. I am barely functional. I went off my abx yesterday to see if I felt better today, but I don't.

My panic attacks are nonstop and I have been breaking out in sweats, which is new. I literally shake and sweat! I'm exhausted but cannot relax and nap. I just feel so sick.

I really wish I had my mom to take care of me. Lol. I guess we need to take this day by day. I really wish I could help you, but I can barely help myself.

I've been praying a lot, and trying to post on here to help feel connected. I don't know if my posts make any sense because of all the horrible symptoms I'm having. They may not be clear.

I'm trying to reach out to help others. You are not alone. I am here too, by your side. Hopefully we can make it through to the other side together.
Posted 11/21/2014 12:22 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Margaret

It's sad that people still don't get it that interior doesn't correspond to exterior. I think you answered well considering your state. Let it go I would say, cause at this instance you need to save your energy. You can always talk to her about it when you're feeling somewhat stronger.

I think this is a very bad period of the year: it's so dark, humid, cold... And you have bad insomnia on top of that, and are probably herxing...

I have been struggling with my emotions too these last weeks. I cry, am angry, confused, all emotions in the kitchen aid....
When I feel like that, my self confidence goes below zero. I feel useless, stupid, empty, ridiculous.
Evening and night time are bad advisors, everything tends too feel less bad in the morning. I always try to keep that in mind when I'm loosing it in the evening or during nighttime.

I think it might be important for you at this instance to try to improve your sleep asap. No sleep messes up your mind, everyone's mind. I'm sorry if you told me before, i forgot, are you taking anything for sleep? I think you should really contact your gp or llmd and see what they can prescribe or recommend you.

Also, accepting that you are really sick is some kind of grieving process. It's not to be underestimated. It took me soooo long to give into that fact. I kept on working while in fact being very sick and under treatment.

I hope today will be somewhat better than yesterday...

Hugs
MarieLS
Posted 11/21/2014 5:42 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Margaret- Just wondering how you are feeling today?

Any improvement, hope things have settled down for you.


Sending you hugs



Lori
Posted 11/21/2014 11:53 PM (GMT 0)
Margaret, I know just how you feel, been that way since the end of September, with a good day here and there.
I have had 5 good days in a row so far for this week! So i know where you are right now WILL pass, the way you feel now is not forever!
When i take my Epsom salt bath at night, i will drink a cup of bedtime tea after my bath, and i also take melatonin one hour before my normal bed time and i fall into a good deep sleep, until i wake up to pee! But usually fall right back to sleep. Good days will come!
Posted 11/22/2014 5:38 AM (GMT 0)
Hi everyone,

Yes, I am better. I haven't had even a single hot sweat today.

I still couldn't sleep until 3:30 a.m. last night, but at least I slept all the way through the night (and part of the next day) until 1:30 p.m. today.

I ate three meals today, vs. practically nothing on Tuesday, and only one meal yesterday. Well, the last meal today was just squash, but for me that counts as a meal.

I think whatever this is is cyclic, so do you folks think it's Babs, Bart, or both? The last symptom I had was last night, when I had the streaky (but very itchy) rash. I took two Benadryl, then two more two hours later. Maybe that's why I slept better. :) Today, I bought some Calms Forte, because it's homeopathic, which means it shouldn't interact with my worthless sleeping pills.

As far as the hot sweats and accompanying symptoms, it was, as I described it to someone, like having hot-flash like heatstroke episodes!! Part of the time I just felt a constant burn, like having a radiator inside my body. My lips and cheeks really burned. It kind of felt like a bad sunburn almost. Meanwhile, my legs were rubbery, I got nauseous at night, and I could do virtually nothing (except post on the internet, ha ha)!

IHL, there are times when I can only take a shower sitting down on the shower seat, and I can only brush my teeth sitting on the bed. But during this cycle, I didn't even though either of those.

I was also very light headed, though I tried drinking coconut water.

I think it was a combination of herxing from Monolaurin (and the hooch combined), sleeplessness, and the worst Babs or Bart I've EVER had.

What does it sound like to you?

Thanks so much for the support.

Margaret

I would really like to know what you folks think: What do these symptoms remind you of? Which coinfection?
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