Mantra

I continue to have meltdown after meltdown this week.
There is a problem with my IV port and I need to get back to the hospital to have it looked at but after being non-responsive for 4 days they finally called late yesterday afternoon to schedule an appt. I missed the call so I will have to just show up first thing Monday AM and just wait and demand that they see me. I wish I knew how to knit or something—that would make for a more dramatic "sit-in"!

Also, despite knowing for 7 yrs that my driver's license would expire on my birthday, I forgot that it was my birthday and it expired. So I have to hurry to the DMV to get it renewed so that I can get to the Disability office to file a claim. And I also need to apply for new insurance since they're dropping my plan. All in the next couple weeks. And I have half a functioning brain. So things are piling up and I'm completely overwhelmed.

But I decided that I need to develop a better coping mechanism or I will lose it. And I'm getting scared. So I'm going to try this new thought process and mantra…

Despite all the crap—there are things that are going WELL and going RIGHT that I am very grateful for and I'm going to focus on these things instead:

- After a very very long road of almost two decades, I now have tons of answers and information and a plan for recovery;
- I have a wonderful LLMD whom I trust;
- I have INSURANCE (this month, anyway);
- the nurse from the home health care service went out of her way to do something for me today;
- I am struggling with the treatment but it is working so far and they had to take the needle out this week due to problems BUT I got to shower!!!;
- it is a gorgeous sunny day;
- despite everyone I have lost in my life, I am rebuilding relationships one step at a time;
- I found this forum—I do not know where I would be without it;
- I have to relearn a lot of things I learned because of my cognitive problems—but I now know where to look—and as another poster suggested in one of the posts here—I get to experience things for the first time and that is kind of cool;
- being forced to quit my job and step out of my career path has been so difficult to deal with—but it's forced me to slow down and I had no idea how much I needed that;
- in-between my horrible days, I have had some really great days;
- I can eat salads again and I'm having regular bowel movements! ha!;
- I have a box of herbs I'm trying to grow and they are still alive!
- it only took 2 hrs to recover from my meltdown earlier today!
- I was able to ride my bike a little bit today—so freeing and necessary for my sanity;
- I am sleeping better, the holy grail of 5 hrs sleep in a row…

-p

Way to go, Pirouette!! You are such a fighter!!! You will make it!! Just keep on looking at the good things, the bad will always be with us, but it surely doesn't have to control our state of mind.

A shower and regular BM's - what more could a gal ask for??? LOL!

They have "navigators" for getting help with the health care plans. I had to use one the first time around. Look for one in your area. They should not be representing any insurance company though.

If there is someone that you can call on to help you with some of the driving to all of those places, I would greatly encourage you to press them into service! Even just someone else doing the driving would lower the stress on you!!

Don't forget to take some deep cleansing breaths often during your stressful days - it helps to calm us, besides getting some much needed oxygen into us!

And vent here!!

You are so strong, Miss P! I wish I could be more like you!

Happy Birthday.
Xoxoxo

Exactly. You have to be thankful and appreciative for the positive aspects of life (this reduces the stress caused by thinking of the bad things) and you have to concentrate on the good, that healing is possible and that you will find the path meant for you (not on the symptoms that remain).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cOvOpuSMS-U

This woman lived for music. We all have things that we live for. Sometimes it is our children, sometimes it is other things, but I think the video shows that we all need to look to the good to at least be happy. Even under the worst of circumstances. "There has to be the bad" "We learn from the bad" "I know about the bad but I look to the good"

I think this is the reason why she lived to be such a great age. My own grandmother lived to be 100, and her attitude reminded me very much of Alice's. She was never angry, took everything in stride and looked only to the good.

And, I am very sorry to hear of all your struggles, and it's amazing to me how much we all have to deal with on a daily basis.

Let me just say, you are doing an amazing job, and you should be proud of all that you ARE.
Right NOW.

OK?

Hi Pirouette,
I don't have any words of wisdom, but I always enjoy reading your posts and I am sorry that you are having a hard time. It's a great thing to focus on the good stuff--and just taking a shower and having the energy for that--is a huge thing! So hooray for you!!







And btw--my grandson is severely handicapped physically & mentally and he started working with a new computer that he and his mom can use and now he can communicate with us in basic everyday things and we are amazed, we never thought it possible. So keep your chin up!

Good thoughts to live by Pirouette! Thank you for setting a good example for others to think about.

Rowingmom, thank you for that video. What a sweet lady she is and a very good example of how to get through tough times. She was very lucky to have learned to play the piano. I'll miss the generation that was ahead of me.