I seriously wish I had never been born.

Well here goes, my teeth are killing me, I have Lyme with a bart coinfection and I'm homeless. My life is slowly going down the toilet and I really don't have the strength to fight it anymore. I am married to a US citizen but technically I am an illegal so I can't even buy healthcare insurance so I buy my medication at cost which means I can't afford rent. I have been able to cope with having to be my own doctor and dentist because at least I have a husband who really loves me and that makes it all worthwhile, or so I thought. I caught him watching **** and it felt like a knife being twisted in my back. I now have to be my own doctor, dentist, advocate, therapist and so much more. I can't cope anymore, I have never felt so lonely in my life. I just want to die.

Honey, Take one thing at a time.

Now, are you homeless because you left your husband?

**** isn't the end of the world. Lots of men use ****. It's hard to take, and it's very annoying, but it's better than if you had caught him with another woman, or with some floozy.

Maybe you should go back to hubby, and talk to him about it?

Don't worry about the illegal part for now. You can't take on all your problems at once.

You were born for a reason. One thing you need to do is to love yourself.

Margaret

Oh lymelymie—I am so very sorry you are struggling. This is such an indescribably difficult illness. We all understand what you are experiencing. I'm glad you posted—this is a safe place to share and ask questions and vent.

Regarding finances, there are resources that you might be able to utilize to help pay for treatment - Prescription Assistance Programs:
www.pparx.org/
www.freemedicineprogram.org/
www.needymeds.org/

There are a ton of resources listed in this link covering all kinds of thing we may need as we go through treatments!! Please check it out~
www.lduc.org/lyme-disease-resources

Regarding your husband… I am sorry you're feeling lonely and upset. Have you talked with him about what's upsetting you? In the end, he is human. We are all human and make mistakes. But you have to put yourself first right now… you have to heal and you need good energy to do that.

Please keep posting. You CAN cope. You CAN do this. You are NOT alone—you are in really good company here, I promise you. Do what you can to get past today—tomorrow is a new day.

Do you have family or close friends nearby you can lean on? If not, you still have us all here. And here are a couple of other ways to get help:

National Suicide Hotline 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
NDMDA Depression Hotline | Support Group. 800-826-3632
Suicide Prevention Services Crisis Hotline 800-784-2433
Suicide Prevention Services Depression Hotline 630-482-9696
Crisis Help Line | For Any Kind of Crisis 800-233-4357
Suicide & Depression Hotline | Covenant House 800-999-9999

------Online Hotline Resources--------
www.crisischat.org/chat/
www.befrienders.org/
www.imalive.org/
www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

Hang in there and please keep posting—

-p

<Edited>
Thank you Marie

-p

Post Edited (Pirouette) : 12/9/2014 7:16:04 AM (GMT-7)

One feels what they feel....and that is fine. We r not talking about reality, but a feeling of disloyalty. Also, just because **** is done, that doesnt make it ok. I feel ( No arguing w/ feelings), that watching is a low thing,even though there is no actual cheating. Yet, lymie,there can b many reasons why watch it...and i doubt that hubby is doing it cuz he feels u r insufficient. Wow, like u need that added stress at the moment. Once u start to feel better, things will start to fall into place.

There are lots of people who do lots of things for reasons we don't always understand.... to cope with whatever life is giving them at the time. I pray you have shelter somewhere and access to library computer.Many on this site can help and are wise to advise you to people who can provide assistance in any state.

My son has psychiatrice raging brain lyme and our family is shattered.... I understand trials. Pleas ask for help!