Looking back to early days of symptoms

A few months after symptoms started, I had anxiety, and bouts of depression. I was crying every day - my husband would come home on his lunch break from work to see how I was doing and I would cry...then when he got home from work - I'd cry again.
I couldn't understand what was happening to my body, and my mind. I said to him several times, "I feel like I'm losing my mind". or..."I don't know who I am anymore".

Poor hubby, he was training on a new job, and was used to relying on my strength...but now was having to come home to a dark house with all the blinds shut, dishes piled up,laundry piled up, bed unmade, no dinner, and a wife who was non-stop crying.

Those are the darkest days of my life.

When I look back at how I was...I shudder. I should have known then that there was something seriously wrong with me...not just fibromyalgia, or low thyroid or low estrogen/progesterone...but something systemic that was affecting my brain. Yes, I was going to the Dr.'s for test after test...but I should have been more forceful, and emphasizing that something was seriously wrong with me.

I feel like I have PTSD from those days....

Anyone else feel traumatized from the pre-diagnosis days?

Oh yes! I literally cried every day for the first six months, usually twice! I felt horrible and had no idea what was wrong and when test after test came back negative It only made it worse.
I thought at the time it was just because of the situation and not knowing but know looking backing something major was going on with my brain from the lyme.

My house used to look the same way and still does a lot of the time lol. My husband had just started one of two grad degrees and he needed me to be doing more then I could, luckily he's been wonderful through the whole thing.

Looking back stresses me out because I don't want to ever feel that awful again! Very PTSD!!

i feel like that now. U are so lucky you had a hubby back then.
I'm so tired..physically, emotionally, financially from all this.
Glad you got out of it.

Actually, many people have used that term to describe how they feel when thinking about their own "worst days". I know I have more than once on here, and just told my doc this today. It was a bit of an eye opener for her.

I was lost and confused and so sick and thought I was dying. I slept all the time and my boyfriend thought I had Alzheimer's. I could barely function. I didn't know what day it was or what month it was......

I was the same way! For almost 9 months I cried every single day, usually more than once. I don't know if it was Lyme actually causing depression & anxiety, or if I mostly felt that way because I knew I was sick and test after test after doctor after doctor told me nothing was wrong with me! It was terrible!

I think for me a big part of the sadness & crying was the fear and unknown, because once I got my actual diagnosis, I definitely stopped crying so much because there was a little less fear just knowing and understanding what was causing all the crazy physical symptoms.

It was a really dark time, it's hard to think about sometimes even...

Trav-

PTSD? Absolutely, completely agree! I my be biased, but IMHO, chronic Lyme & Co would qualify as a traumatic illness.

"Past studies have shown evidence of PTSD symptoms among people who've been treated for cancer, heart attacks and stroke as well as organ transplant patients"

http://www.healthcommunities.com/posttraumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd/serious-illness-ptsd.shtml

I completely agree that PTSD could be caused by this illness and the emotional trauma of having to go so long with the unknown and fear! Definitely...at times I will have flashbacks or just think about that year not knowing, and sometimes I have to just completely block it out.

I live in the northeast where Lyme is rampant. Yet no one had ever heard of Anaplasmosis including myself and co-infections are not common knowledge. So when I started to get sick I had no clue for months what could be happening to me. Most people I know inc my sister and coworker got bit, went on doxy and didn't have neurological affects. Both have sever pains in their legs and ankles 2 years later. their primary drs do not see any correlation to this and Lyme. My sister would cry for hours every night because the pain in her legs were so severe. Her dr told her MAYBE she needed iron. There aren't any support groups and there is no education about it once you're sick. Cuomo passed a bill in NY but I was still denied a picc line. No one could begin to understand how sick it makes us and the emotional trauma we have all been through.....The media should be talking about Lyme instead of the time they wasted on Ebola......