something is horribly wrong I feel like I'm dying

How are you feeling today IHL? Was last night easier?

So sorry to hear you were so sick, never heard of such a bad herx but anything is possible. Hope you continue to have some good days finally but please don't over do it. I know it's hard, especially when you've been very active before Lyme. Hang in there and feel better. Keep us posted.

thank you guys :)

I wish my doctor would get back to me about my 23 and me results. Something is wrong with my tteatment. I don't know that I feel comfortable continuing. I literally feel like I could die. No joke.

I wrote him an email. He usually gets back to me in the same day. I wrote instead of calling for a number of reasons. Mostly because I can fit more in an email that in a call to his receptionist.

I'm not going to the emergency room unless my fever gets really high or..... I feel like I need to. It's a lot of symptoms that I've had before. I just feel really weak and really toxic. I think this is the result of treatment.

Something that I've been taking doesn't agree with me. I feel fine when I wake up until I take my medicine. Then I get sick for about 6 hours. With the exception of those 3 good days. I think I'm just not able to detox appropriately and my body has reached a level of toxicity it can't support.

I'm hoping that I'm right. And I feel like as long as I take it easy and stay away from all of those pills I will be OK. I just need more time. It's coming in waves. One minute I think I'm alright and the next I'm so not.

Take this as a lesson guys. Feeling good doesn't necessarily mean you are healing. Maybe my immune system stopped working completely and that's what alleviated my symptoms. Maybe the flu virus came in and took all the attention away from the bacteria? And look at me now, I'm more dead than alive.

Detoxing is critical. Absolutely critical. Why my doctor didn't place more importance on this I don't know.... but I don't know that I would've had this experience if he would've payed more attention to it. I shouldve been bugging him more instead of being tough. I feel very naive right now. And fragile.

My doctor told me I was going to be taking a medication vacation. When it came time he wrote me an email and said refill my pills instead. No explanation. I should be asking more questions. This is my body, my health, my life. I'm not getting better and he says that's typical. But my hands and feet are turning black and I'm pretty sure I'm starting to have seizures (ssound familiar trav?)....

Something isn't right. I have to figure it out and all while I'm this sick. I want more research done on these infections. You can tip your body just a tad out of balance and end up dying. I know it doesn't happen often. But for the few of us that really really struggle that information could be invaluable.

I honestly don't know what to do. Maybe I'm just a little confused and upset right now. Maybe I'm crazy from the fever. I don't know. But I need someone's help. And I don't know how to be heard.

IHL:

I am so sorry you are dealing with this! If you are the only caretaker for your son, I think you need to make sure you are at a minimum well enough for him to be safe. I agree you should call your doc. He has to absolutely add something for the detoxing to work. I really love the way you write, it is unique and it always grabs me. If I were you, I would save all my posts and maybe someday they would make a great book. What other better way to let the world know about Lyme?

Take care, I will be praying for you. I was never in such a bad shape, but my son is struggling and this is much worse to see than if it would happen to me. He had 4 grand mal seizures and the last 2 were terrible, completely out of breath and his lips turned blue. At least he has me to watch him. Do you have anyone to check up on you? I know your situation with your parents, but can your grandparents at least check on you or help you a little?

I started to use horse tail tea. It is a good detox for the kidneys. It has silica. It has a pleasant taste--even the kids like it. The first time I used it, it gave me nausea. I left it brew until it cooled enough to drink it. After that I didn't make it very strong and it was fine. I encourage you to save your posts in a word document for future use. You will be ok. I didn't even go back to college until I was in my 30s. And then I decided to do my Masters too. I didn't start a family until my mid 30s. I was so afraid I won't be able to have children if I wait longer. But... now I've got 4--2 extra than intended. LOL You have your whole life in front of you. Look at your writing, despite all this! Thank you for posting.

My doctor got back to me. He said he thinks on top of the flu it's massive die-off. So you guys were spot on with herxing.

Which leads me into the wonderful world of detoxing. Whatever I've been doing simply isn't enough. And I can't continue this level of treatment until I figure it out. It doesn't feel safe. I don't like having to question whether I'm in a life or death situation. In the last 6 months it's happened more times that I'm comfortable admitting.

I feel very lucky to have all of you behind me, supporting me. You always point me in the right direction. You are my sanity when my mind goes crazy and I'm no longer being rational or a good judge of the situation.

On a good note (I always have to try to find at least ONE), I got my heating/cooling pad in the mail. It's infrared with pretty jade stones all over it. It has a photon dial, I have no idea what it is for. The instructions seem like they are translated badly from chinese. I've been sweating and sweating and sweating from the fever, and this is nice because I can use it to cool off. I've been alternating the heat and cold all day, and it's helping. Maybe this is how I detox- sweating like a pig. I was writing to a friend earlier and realizing maybe I always started to feel better in the spring because I was outside sweating. Just a theory, but maybe there is some merit to it.

Thank you all for putting up with me- I feel like I've been throwing a bigger tantrum than my 3 old. And yes, by the way for those that were wondering, I've had my fiance with me all week to help with my son. He's made my every meal, made my every cup of tea, wiped every tear, and even held a bowl for me puke in. What a trooper.

IHL said...
Nothing changed besides I was on my feet working really hard all day long. It felt so good. I've been in bed for the past 6 months. Pretty much anyway. I could breath, I didn't feel like I was going to pass out, I had energy....etc. The only thing was I was in pain. So I took a pain pill when I needed it and just kept going. I raked my yard, worked on the chicken coop, lopped blackberries, worked on my garden beds, cleaned my entire house. I did more in those 3 days than I have in 6 months. Seriously. It was amazing.

I frequently feel like this before I get really sick ie, like with the flu. It's like your immune system is ramped up and you can do anything. You feel really good - better than normal - and then you crash.

I hope it was the flu, and you give yourself a chance to recover. I had the flu before Christmas and it lasted for 3 weeks. One day I would feel better and then relapse again. Eventually I recovered. Fever is good. I couldn't mount a very good one, so I climbed in the sauna several times and felt better.

......... I want to crawl in a hole and stay there for a while. I'm in a serious funk. I don't know how I'm going to heal :( I miss being a part of my family and I have no idea how to get back there.

Detoxing makes me feel so much worse. It's just not helping at all. I don't know what to do.

IHL, if you do have the flu that is going around, it is a tough one. My dh is a pretty healthy guy and it hit him hard. He has been sleeping a lot the last few days. So that on top of herxing would be a lot for your body to handle. I hope you can get some good rest.

It sounds like your guy is a keeper! I'm glad he's helping you out so much.

The only thing that is better is the fever is gone. Now I'm just in the middle of a giant herx. Haven't started treatment back up. I need to detox for a while.

My monster headachea came back today. I had almost forgot how bad they are. Later there for hours with my hands holding my head praying that the universe would either take it or me away. Suicide headache. Took a double dose of pain medication and I can pick my head up off the pillow finally.

My joints are killing. I'm very grumpy and anxious. I'm paranoid and feeling plain crazy. I'm just not myself at all right now.

I have been away for a few days, and have missed all this! Last I knew, you were actually feeling ok. I'm so upset and concerned to read these posts. My heart goes out to you! I wish I was there to help you. Maybe you just need to go off your med for a few days and rest some.

Please keep writing to us.

Hey sorry guys!! I'm still very sick. Very weak. My arms and legs get tired really quick. Just typing this is making me feel like I'm doing a huge workout. My grown area even feels tired and weak!

I've been struggling with my headaches. My ears hurt and I keep hearing very loud sounds in them. The fever is gone. Not over 100 anyway. I keep getting rashes that burn like I got acid on my skin. Anxiety is through the roof!

I'm literally like a crazy person. I see a shadow move from the wind blowing the trees and it makes my heart sink like something is after me. Talk about paranoia! At least I'm somewhat aware!

I can breath better today and that makes me feel a lot stronger. All I'm working on is detoxing. Bone broth with veggies and lots of tea And water. I'm trying out activated charcoal. I think I'm a lot like traveler and I have serious detoxing issues.

The last 6 months I've been killing stuff and it couldn't find a way out of my body. Healing crisis at its finest! I'm Co finest I can overcome this. But I don't know what it means for the future as far as treatment goes. I'm extremely worried about taking abx again. I feel like if I took even one it could push me over the edge.

I'm now a firm believer that you can kill yourself herxing. Flu or not!

It means the world to me that you guys worry about me. I couldn't ask for a better support system you guys are amazing! With me every step of the way. I love it!