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What would you do? (Venting/confused)

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Posted 2/19/2015 5:07 PM (GMT 0)
Ok so I have to get on to making a life for myself instead of just obsessing over my mental and some physical symptoms. I need to get a degree and get on with getting a real job but with this one symptom I have is just holding me back big time.


The one symptom I feel the worst is like I am not grounded, not in control of my body a lot, worrying about passing out or feeling like I will, Feeling like life is weird all the time when I never felt like this before.


Usually people with more physical symptoms can kind of push through the pain(even though it is hard), but they are usually not plagued by the mental or body feeling weird stuff to where it breaks their concentration and gives them anxiety.


I am in no way saying that the mental/weird stuff is worse than pain, I am just wondering like how the hell am I gonna be able to start a life with these weird body feelings going on and my outlook on life being changed, I'm so confused at this point.


I try to keep pushing on and living day to day but I need to start thinking of what I have to do to progress now with school and jobs and it is just so hard with the not feeling grounded/not in control/depersonalization/derealization feelings all the time.


They have gone down a decent amount since the bite, but still not good enough to actually be able to fully dedicate myself to work and school, and I need to act fast cause I feel as if time is running out in that sense to where I'll be out on the street soon with nothing if I don't progress in getting a real job and working.

I can't wait for treatment to progress at this point, but then again my mental/weird symptoms are bad enough to where I can't concentrate or work alot or focus on school a lot yet cause I'm so confused and scared about everything at the moment.


Sorry I just needed to vent, what I am thinking is I just have to get out there and forget the symptoms even exist even though that will be hard but I need to progress my life and sadly no one believes me so they won't understand me putting it on hold for lyme and anxiety so I really have no choice at this point.
Posted 2/19/2015 5:20 PM (GMT 0)
Sorry that you're going through this. My symptoms too are less focused on physical pain and more on the cognitive aspects. Depersonalization is the worst one for me as well. I was able to graduate college, even while experiencing severe depersonalization. It was really scary sitting outside trying to read a book and feeling like my legs were dissolving into the earth, and having to shake them so that I could feel where my legs ended and the ground began. I would often have to stop what I was doing to pace around from the gut-retching anxiety that accompanies this stuff too. All that is to say that I understand what you're going through.

So wait, have you actually started treatment yet? Or will you be soon? I unfortuantely don't have too much advice besides trying not to over exert yourself and having to find a situation that works for you. If you can take a break from work for a while so that you can focus on school that would be ideal. But I understand not everybody can do that (if not maybe look into disability pay?). I ended up moving back in with my parents so I could take some time off from work but I understand that not everybody can do that either.

Just remember that this will all be over soon. This hellish nightmare of not feeling at home in your own body or in your own life will be over soon. Let me know if there's anything that I can do and sorry I can't be of more help!
Posted 2/21/2015 11:49 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks for your reply, no I have not been on treatment at all, I had the usual doxy a few months after the tick bite and then a few months after that my symptoms just started getting gradually better on their own.


All any doctor could find wrong with me was positive for mono diagnosis and that's it, usually my tests always come out normal and the last time I checked my cd57 was 145, not sure what it is now though.


Anyway, I still do have symptoms a bit but they are a lot better than when this all first started, still very confused about it all though and not sure what condition I am in at this point, I don't feel too bad but I also don't feel completely great either so not sure what to think?
Posted 2/21/2015 4:12 PM (GMT 0)
Critical thinking question to ask here is this:

If you feel weird, disconnected, not grounded and not in control of your body, how can you expect that the long-term decisions you make right now are going to be reliable ones?

Maybe you should think more about tactical decisions rather than strategic ones right now. Don't get ahead of yourself. Everybody has different challenges and tasks presented to them by the process of their life- and it is a process- and your process right now obviously has a focus on your physical and mental health. It's your task. And finding a way to live that supports that goal is the best choice.

I don't know how old you are, but you sound like a youngish person. You have time. Lots of people never really settle down and build prosperity or stability until their 40's! so it's not a crime to work the short term for now. Focus on health of mind, body and spirit, build trust in yourself, and give yourself time to recover from this.

As you get more stable, answers will suggest themselves, opportunities will present themselves that you never anticipated, and if you have the courage to try those opportunities, life will open up to you in surprising ways. As your mind becomes healthier you'll find yourself thinking in more balanced ways, and more balanced decisions will come out of you. Just do what you can for now, within the abilities that you have, and keep working it.
Posted 2/21/2015 7:26 PM (GMT 0)
If you don't get into treatment, anything that you start now will be delayed at some point due to progressing symptoms. So the first thing you have to do is to get into treatments. Take it from someone who has been through that.

Treatments first, then back to life and what we want from life. Otherwise you will forever be fighting with symptoms that get increasingly worse with time.
Posted 2/21/2015 10:48 PM (GMT 0)
Dear Dolph, I understand completely. When I got sick last year, I had been laid off so I was lucky. Then my unemployment ran out and I had to get a job in September. It's been really, really difficult. I rest on weekends, usually crawl into bed by 3pm on Sat & Sunday. I may read or watch TV or go on line but I rest my mind and body & try to take my mind off how bad I feel. I also started taking aderall and that has
helped. Having to get up and get dressed and go to work is hard but once there, I am so busy I forget how bad I feel. There are days I feel like I am going to pass out, throw up, have a heart attack, panic attack etc. but the phones start ringing and I actually don't have time to give into it.

You might try energy healing. I am going to do one soon and everyone who does it seems to love it!
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