I don't want to be in pain anymore :(

I am so sorry you are going thru this, it is horrible and not fair at all. I wish I had an answer for you. I believe you are in Oregon, right? If so there are some people treating with cannabis oil. I hear that there are strains that you can get for your particular issues that can also help with the healing. Maybe that would help you. Is there anything that makes you feel even a little better? laying in the sun with your dog maybe? I really wish I lived close to you, I would come over with some soup.

Feel better!

IHL - I know how you feel - the pain everyday. I do cry...and it does help. It seems to release something and allows me to handle it again.
It's okay to cry....

We will get better, the pain will subside.

I'm seriously thinking of medical marijuana. I have resisted pain meds to now...but I've read that there may be something to the marijuana with actually treating lyme disease...so I'm curious.

I just don't know what type/form to take.
Not gonna buy a bag and start rolling doobies...lol

My Dr. can prescribe a med - Nabilone - but then it's probably got a bunch of pharm junk in it...maybe it's the one thing that will actually help with pain and do something to kill the lyme.

Never fell bad for feeling sorry for yourself. You and everyone with this terrible disease has every right too. You also deserve to feel better! Please cry it out when you feel defeated and go somewhere secluded and scream as loud as you can when you get angry. When these feelings take over we have to get them out so we can move forward. Keeping you in my thoughts and hoping you feel much better soon.

I've had many complete meltdowns! I think most of us do. Focus on the plan of attack to kill those buggers once and for all!

You might want to make some cannabis butter and bake it into cookies. It is much better for addressing the pain and nausea without so much of the paranoia and being high. Much better than eating mud!

IHL,

I'm sorry you're in so much pain. Pain meds suck, but there are different meds for different kinds of pain. For example, there are many non-narcotic nerve pain meds - ones that also can help with depression. Maybe you're not on the right pain meds. Maybe you have nerve pain. There are also muscle relaxers.

You might consider seeing a pain management doctor. It might be worth a shot. I hope you're feeling better!

Thanks ks again everyone! I might give pain management a shot. I just don't want to get all strung out or feel weird all the time. The side effects can be pretty bad.

I really like to be clear and sober. I haven't always believe me! I have a lot of friends and my dad that are total addicts and I think it just gives me a bad impression. They have no idea what real pain is like!

Part of the problem is that the pain moves around so fast. My back will hurt for a few hours and I'll try and remedy it. Then my headache will start and I'll try to remedy that. Then my forearms and shins will ache. The The cramps will start up and I'll start bleeding....

It's nearly constant lately. Hopefully soon I'll be in a better place..

Lymebean, it got up to 70 in the Portland area and probably the whole valley. We've had an early spring and plants are blooming ahead of their normal times. The pacific frog chorus started up early too and right now there are 2 loud ones on our deck right now. Too bad you're not still here to enjoy the early spring.

Hey garden peace! I started some seeds yesterday and today in my new greenhouse! I'm going to be using your seed tape trick pretty soon!!

My llnd actually talked my pcp into signing the referral for my insurance for pain management. I just hate the thought of taking narcotic pain pills. My llnd has been writing me a perscription for 10 percocet (like... months ago) and got irritated that I didn't need more. I take tramadol almost everyday though. He says I need to deal with my pain or I'll never heal.

I have a young son and I like to be clear. I don't like taking them. A lot of it has to do with the fact that my father and my ex best friend that I grew up with are total abusers. I refuse to be like them. I need to just get over it. Because I'm aware of the consequences I'll never abuse them. But I still feel weak If I do take them.

Honestly though it hurts so bad sometimes if alien jizz made the pain stop I'd drink it lol. So. My appointment is coming up. My llnd wants me to go to my pcp and get this whole pain thing figured out. He doesn't want to have to write the rx. My issue is this lady violated hippa rules and got drunk with my father in law and made me out to be some sort of hypochondriac psycho. Even thinking of stepping foot in her office makes me feel humiliated.

When she got the record release from my llnd she called and told me to stop seeing other doctors because it was complicating her job. And then proceeded to tell me I just have a mood disorder. Then about a week later called and said she might have missed something and I need to provide a stool sample and see another specialist.

So. Ya. That's why I'm avoiding pain management. I'm embarrassed. And her receptionist lady is someone I went to school wiTh. She told everyone I was just crazy too.. it's a very small town..

I'm glad you got the garden bug and started on the seed project. It can be so healing to do that. I'm jealous of your new greenhouse. ;) I'll be getting one when we sell the pool.

I'm sorry you have those people in your life. How childish to say those things about you. Good for you for trying hard to do things right for yourself and your son. He's a lucky boy to have you. Little towns can be hard.

If you do start on the narcotic pain pills, start out with less than your supposed to take, in case you can't tolerate them. I had a bad reaction to Lomotil once, which is a narcotic, and I was glad I only took half the dose to start with. It was not a fun experience and I would've ended up in the hospital if I had taken the full dose.

Are you in one of the little logging towns? Don't feel you have to answer that if you don't want to. Enjoy the warm weather before the rainy days return. I hope you can work in your greenhouse some more this week.

I know how you feel. No one will even give me pain medication. (I don't know why. Maybe they don't believe me.)

So I just deal with it.