Gracelynn,
Remember that at least part of what you are dealing with is the disease - depression and the feeling of urgency. Have you had your thyroid and adrenals checked lately to be sure they are functioning at their best?
As for searching this forum:
At the top of this (or any) page - on the same blue bar as the log on/off button, but on the right hand side - you will see:
Home | Calendar | Chat | Search|....then a couple of others.
Click on the search. Once there, enter the term 'Lyme' first, then your search words. This will help narrow down the results to just the Lyme forum, but look carefully. It's easy to think you are going to a thread in the Lyme forum and end up in a different one. The other forums pages look just like this one.
I'm not sure I explained that very well, so if I've managed to confuse you - Sorry!! - just let me know - I can try again or better yet have someone else explain it!
Giggle!
This is supposed to be a "safe" place for all to come when they are having the same kind of difficulties as you are going through - otherwise they would have kicked me out a long time ago. I've been a member since 2007 - so there have been a lot of days where I just was really down, and sometimes even truly depressed. This is the one place I could come and not fear someone telling me that I "was always depressed". Please feel free to come here for the support that you need. I just hope that we can always help.
Gentle hugs