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I need help working through my fear!

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Lyme Disease
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Posted 7/20/2015 3:57 AM (GMT 0)
I am into my treatment, already feeling stronger, but I just cannot shake the intense fear I now feel for my kids. They were invited to a birthday party at a park yesterday and the whole time they were gone (I had to stay home - not quite strong enough to handle all that) I was a nervous wreck. I sprayed them with bug spray before they left and made them strip down so I could check them all over for ticks when they got home but it didnt make me feel better.

And everytime they complain aboit being tired, or a knee hurts or they have a headache...my mind immediately goes there.

I think my fear comes from me having NO IDEA how/where I got bit. I dont hike, camp, never walked through tall grass, etc. Im literally on suburban sidewalks anytime Im outside and whats worse is I cant think of a single place I was without my kids which means they must have been right next to me when that horrible tick bit me!!

Its one thing for me to be sick and have to deal with this, but I will just break into a million pieces if this happens to one of my babies. How on earth am I ever going to feel OK about this? I cant keep them inside their whole lives (and even then I would freak out that the dog brought something in even though he is on the strongest tick medicine my vet would give me). I seriously check them like 5 times a day for ticks because what if it came from inside? Or our backyard? I KNOW its not good for them, or me, I just have no idea how to keep them safe and that is killing me inside
Posted 7/20/2015 4:14 AM (GMT 0)
Hey, I TOTALLY relate to what you're saying. I live in Portland, Or and have heard over and over Lyme isn't here so last week when I visited the East coast all I could think about was whether I'd get exposed to a bug of some sort-well I DO have Lyme already from camping in the Sierra California Nevada range.

Today, I took my grandson out on a friend's boat on the Columbia river and we made our little 'camp' spot for the day-and honestly I kept looking towards the bushes/trees behind us thinking what if he gets tick bite? But I didn't want to dwell on that. I wanted to jus t have a good day and live it up because I don't know how long I'm here for!!!

Anyhoo, I just really have to find my happy place in my mind, and focus on that-for me it's my spirituality. My friendship with Jesus. I talk to Him and it calms me, my anxiety goes away!

Do you believe in God-THE CREATOR? The one who truly loves you,and died on the cross so that we may have life ever lasting? Because life is short compared to eternity-and HE wants us to try as hard as we can, EVEN in the midst of suffering, TRY to live life to its fullest!!!

I KNOW it's hard-but with HIM all things are possible!!!

I'm 50 & have been suffering w/chronic illness over 10 years, at least. I KNOW it can be scary-no it IS SCARY!!!! BUT, we need to get in touch w/He who created us!
Posted 7/20/2015 4:22 AM (GMT 0)
Btw-I was able to write the previous post because today was a good day for me-last week WAS HORRIBLE but I've learned to take the good with the bad!!!

I hope and pray for you to have strength and courage on the bad days, and to find joy in the good moments!
Posted 7/20/2015 4:40 AM (GMT 0)
JLM287 - I totally understand your fear - and I think it's natural that you would feel that way...you are just coming to terms with your own diagnosis and treatment.
It is a relief, but also overwhelming when you finally start treating.

I think once you start to see significant improvement, you will become stronger emotionally, and won't be quite so worried - you are feeling vulnerable now...
I know that's how I have felt and still feel sometimes - worried, weak and vulnerable.
But, when we get better, we will be stronger, more in control...

Give it some time...and remember - you know the signs, you are checking them, you will be able to act on it, as you now know what to do if you see a tick on them, or a rash, or they show symptoms...

You're a good mom.
Posted 7/20/2015 4:09 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you so much Girlie. Your words helped me get a baby step forward and thats saying a lot for me right now :)
Posted 7/20/2015 5:13 PM (GMT 0)
You're welcome!

This forum is so helpful for us...we don't really have anywhere else to go sometimes for support. We GET what you're going through...

We're all in this together, so please keep reading, posting - we'll help each other through this.
Posted 7/20/2015 7:02 PM (GMT 0)
Just remember it's one step at a time, even if it is baby steps!!

You might want to consider using a preventative for the kids now, and you later. I'm using Astragalus with good results. I've had 3 suspicious tick bites since January, and have not had any symptoms come back.
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