Feeling depressed, paranoid. Can't go on like this. Would really like to talk to someone

Hi to whoever reads this. I am three weeks into IV abx treatment. My neurological symptoms have gotten much worse since the beginning. My paranoia is through the roof, so is my anxiety and depression. I hear the nurses talking about me, laughing about me. I don't know if this is real or if my mind is playing tricks on me. I don't know what's real anymore!

I am literally walking in circles in my hospital room not knowing what to do. I have been having suicidal thoughts, and that scares the heck out of me. I really don't know what to do anymore.

I had hope the IV treatment would alleviate the psychological symptoms, and they had at the start. But now it's worse than ever. Someone please tell me this gets better, because right now it feels like there is no hope left of me getting my life back. I just need someone to talk to

I didn't have IV antibiotics, but at 3 weeks into treatment, I felt worse than ever, which I didn't think was possible. I got really paranoid and had some lyme rages in which I said things to my kids that I literally don't remember saying at all. It is a toxin overload. You need to start doing more detoxing. If you are in the hospital, would it be possible for someone bring you some dandelion tea bags or some liver detox supplement and do epson salt foot baths? Detoxing is a full time job in the beginning....Also, maybe do some deep breathing and try to focus on a place that brings you peace. Even if its for 5 minutes! And ignore the nurses or report them. Hope you feel better soon.

I'm so sorry you are having to go through this! I have been in some really dark places lately as I've started treatment. I know how you feel. Please hang in there and know this is only temporary! You can and will get through this! Definetly sounds like a mental herx I second the notion for more detox or pulling back on the doses a bit.
Can they give you anything to help calm your nerves? I know that can really help you get through these rough times. Hang in there it will get better!

Thanks guys. Your responses mean the world to me.

Peteza, I'm sure you're right, a lot of the nurses here are very caring, but there really are a few that think I am overreacting and think it's funny. I know I shouldn't give a darn, but I feel so weak I can't handle it.

I'm trying to detox as much as I can, with green tea and lime, and stevia. But I'm afraid it's not enough. I really hope it's just a herxheimer reaction, because it feels like I really am losing my mind right now.

I took some diazepam half an hour ago which has started working. I am a lot more relaxed than before, but the paranoia is still there. I hardly dare to leave my hospital room to go for a walk. My god this disease is hell, I'm sure everyone on here knows that. But it's unbelievable on how many levels it can effect your life.

Hey there jcsh, I hope by the time that you read this you are feeling better, I am so, so sorry to hear that you are going through this. Know that there are many here who can relate to your experiences and that you did the right thing reaching out to get support.

It is awful when you get into that situation where you just can't know what to do or where to go to make yourself feel better and your brain starts playing tricks on you. But be certain that this is a temporary situation, and it will pass.

I would certainly look into doing as mush detox as you can in order to try and tame the worst of it. Have you had a look at the tiredoflyme.com site? There a number of quite easy ways that you could add to your detoxing, like dry brushing for example. It is also something you are doing that's positive, to focus your mind on and try to 'distract' it away from the anxiety and paranoia.

Also would it be possible to get some music on through some head phones, like via an MP3 or the like, and listen to some positive, happy, feel good music while you are having your IV or in the hospital. I know it may sound a little weird, but it does help 'take the edge off' whan I feel like that. It is a question of focusing your brain elsewhere, and yes I know from experience how impossible that sounds, but it's worth a shot.

I really, really hope that you are feeling a bit better, please give us a shout and let us know how you are, won't you.