Revamping

Nothing serious. I lost sight of what I was doing to help myself so I needed to pull back and rethink everything. I simplified my life as much as possible and regrouped. I have discontinued my Monday meetings with my homeopath (a story for another day) and reevaluated my expectations for a complete healing. I went off everything, tuned into my body and mind and ventured into a world of discovery and reevaluation.

I drank coffee. Bad idea. 👀 I rebelled, ate half of a caramel pie and was reminded as to why that is not a recommended thing to do. There were other things.☺️

I just wanted to pretend for just a little while that I could do as I please.

Treatment fatigue?

My MD has informed me that he does not want to discuss Lyme with me ever again. It has been two years said he. "You look great and as far as I'm concerned, you are healed." My symptoms tell me otherwise but I disappointedly complied with his demand to mute the Lyme talk.

I got one Doxy script from him seven weeks in based on a positive standard hospital lab test for both Lyme and Bart. Repeated by an IDS with the same results: Lyme and Bart. My healing journey has been self propelled through trial and error and the grace of God. It was a long slow process with regular trip ups peppered with moments of doubt and fear. I never gave up though and I don't feel that way now. I still laugh a lot and feel hopeful.

There is guilt at times when I think of how much you all have given me. 💚I hope to be able to give as much back.

There is more to the story but will save it for another post. Oh, and by the way, according to my MD, people on boards are crazy. "Stay away from them" said he. Oh, and public Lyme gatherings are apparently even crazier. Well, I must be crazy as well then because I find the people on this board lovely, kind, helpful, altruistic, caring, informed, intelligent and selfless. I journeyed solo for a long time before I found you all. Thank you for being here.

I have been in the shadows reading and caring as In the words of other posters. I have cyber hugged many of you and sent heartfelt support telepathically during your difficult times and rejoiced with you during your good times.

I am eternally grateful for the help that I have received from you all. Such an amazing source of information and direction.

Tomorrow is day one. Life is ten percent what happens and ninety percent what we do about it. I'm onto it.

May you all be blessed with a decent night's sleep💤💤 and discover one more little piece of the Lyme puzzle to help you find answers and regain your life as you so desire.

Sincerely,

Onward and upward, to infinity and beyond🚀

Buzz xo

Buzz!!!!!!

I have missed you my friend. So happy you updated us.

Is it bad that I giggled while reading that you ate a caramel pie with coffee? Why not? We can all relate to the wanting to feel normal. For some it may be a glass of wine, for others it's pizza (talking to you Peteza) and for others it's skipping the routine.

I was told within my first month of being diagnosed, by an ID Dr. to stay away from the boards and that lyme people are crazy - and that Lyme doctors are crazy. I was told that Dr. H. is a quack and never, ever, go to him. I just nodded but in my head I was like "Well if he didn't have a year waiting list I would be in tomorrow." I digress.

I'm just glad you are back on and that you are taking stock, reassessing, and feeling full of gratitude. You are such a ray of sunshine and positive force.

I share your appreciation of the overwhelming kindness, compassion, selfless care, and generous sharing that exists amongst all of you. It would be many dark nights of the soul if not for my new friends.

Thank you Julymorning. It is quite the nightmare. At the moment it is the nightmare before Christmas. Hahaha!

If I think long and hard, the honest reality is: I've mourned the loss of my previous self and accepted the new me. I have folded the black garments and tossed the veil. The funeral is over. "I drove my Chevy to the levy but the levy was dry...." I'm moving on. Or as my Lyme persona enthusiastically acclaims: I'm back wearing my greens. Hahaha. (I'm a very visual person.)


A little more of the story: I'm booked for eye surgery on the 22nd. My MD told me not to tell the eye surgeon that I have Borrelia. (Because according to him I don't). That I run the chance of being 'dumped' as a patient. I've waited since January 2015 to secure a spot with this eye surgeon. It has been a long slow process and he is a specialist in his field. I've already Run the gamut once on this one with his assistant claiming that they never received my file hence the delay in contacting me after several repeated referrals. I think that they may have gotten wind of my Borrelia through my previous Optometrist. He looked at me like an alien once I shared the information with him.

I don't feel frustrated though. I am optimistic and I have faith. This is a new and different world. A challenging one. So far, I'm up to it. It is interesting to observe people and their behaviours. I freeze frame certain experiences and mull them about my Lymie little brain. We're good. It's all good.

I like what you said Julymorning. How we need to be part of a group that we are not involved with on a personal/emotional basis.

Borrelia is a very lonely disease. But it is not lonely here.

Buzz🚀

Movin' on forward and upward, to infinity and beyond.

Ok now I am upset and going into over protective mode?

WHY can't you tell a surgeon about your past medical history? That is what patients have to do. How dare he/she say that to you. I'm sorry for all of their ignorance. There are still some good doctors out there. Sorry you are dealing with this.

Last I checked, our constitution is still being honored. I am so upset they are trying to muffle you. For a disease that the medical community doesn't think exists, why would it matter?

This is what I would say, I have had several surgeries without knowing I had lyme and in my opinion it makes us more sensitive to anesthesia: "I have lyme, you may or not understand the disease, I didn't until I got it, but please know that I am extra sensitive because of it, and to go extra light on the anesthesia."

Believe me, they want you to tell them.

Is it December 22? Extra prayers going out to you next week dear Buzz.

multifacetedme said...
Such an awesome share. I really smiled wide about the coffee and caramel pie. Made me feel much better about my recent Christmas cookie/fudge splurge. What a _______, for an MD to say that people on boards are crazy. What does he base that on? Heck - I might be dead if I hadn't discovered this forum. Get a lot better information here than I do from the bulk of the Dr.'s who have advised me.

Mmmmmm, cookies and fudge........ 🍪

Crazy is such a strong word. It covers a very wide range of levels of behavior. It is rather a mean thing to say. Careless and harmful. I think that it is more of a projection of how inadequate doctors feel when faced with 'us'. And how fearful they are. When he added that life is too short to get involved.......I knew......


Glad you are alive Multifacedtedme. We will beat this thing. The momentum is there. I feel the inertia. We will keep moving forward in spite of the ones attempting to apply the breaks.

Mmmmmmmmm....cookies and fudge hahahahaha

Buzz🚀

Heading onward and upward, to infinity and beyond.

PeteZa said...
Buzz, you make me giggle too and I thank you for the humor. Gosh, we all need it.

My hubby sure could use some. He is grumpy. I think his lyme anxiety is making him grumpy. I told him he should do like I did and just sleep. LOL!! He isn't mean, he is just angry at not being well and I so understand this feeling.

I think we all feel it. Just tired of being sick. And when will it get better and what if???

That is where I always had to stop myself. I did the one day at a time program. Baby step to the tinctures.

I am happy that I make you giggle. Your hubby is lucky that you understand him and don't take his grumpiness personally.

Sleep is good. When in doubt, sleep. Sleep heals. I close my eyes and listen to podcasts. I love 'The Moth' stories and the Grand Slams. Ted Talks are also great. The dog was so happy when I slept a lot this past little while. She was in heaven cuddling back to back.

I like your one day at a time baby steps philosophy. I plan to emulate you.

The Buzz🚀

Blindly flying onward and upward, to infinity and beyond hoping not to hit any space debris along the way.

Huddie said...
Buzz,

You are so funny. An 800 number. The new Harrison Ford film "Raiders of the lost food."

By the way I have never heard of caramel pie. It sounds like something worth cheating for.

Every Christmas Eve we have a big dinner and then I make a special brunch on Christmas Day. It's only once a year - I am not sitting there with detox tea. I fully plan to partake and complain about it later.

Thought I would warn you all now.

CARAMEL PIE- worth cheating for:

Bake a pie crust in the oven x2

Spread cooled Dulce de leche (sweet milk caramel) onto the crust.

DULCE DE LECHE: I unopened can of condensed milk immersed in a large pot of water x2 or3. They store well. Place a cover on the pot , bring to a boil and simmer for three hours. Never let the water go below the tin. It could explode. Remove the tin after three hours with a pickling jar 'thingamajig' clamp (hahaha) and place on a pie cooling grid on the counter. Once cool, open the can and spread this delicious otherworldly caramel/toffee gently onto the pie crust. One can does two pies.

Next, slice a couple of bananas lengthwise and place them over the caramel/toffee spread.

For the grand finale, cover the entire spectacle with wonderful tantalizing dreamy airy whipped cream. Breathe deeply.

Grate chocolate over the whipped cream.

Refrigerate.

Put a lock on the fridge.

Take your flashlight to bed with you.

Use a plastic spoon. Less noisy.

Deny, deny, deny.

It is called a Banoffee pie. (Banana toffee pie).

Dulce de Leche originated in Argentina. The real dulce. Don't go for the imitation store bought. You will gag.