NotQuiteAntonio said...
Keep working on your health. This sounds crazy, but never forget that you're sick. I don't mean that you should obsess about it, but let it always be in the back of your head, and be working towards bettering your health. I've been caught up in a lot of extracurricular things, activities outside of my experience with Lyme disease, and it's been a struggle to remember to stay on top of my treatment.
On the one hand, I feel like we should all be chasing things that don't relate to being sick, because it's important to keep living life. It's been a learning experiencing, but, at the end of the day, I lost a lot of years to Lyme disease, because all it made me want to do was sit in the house and feel sorry for myself. Eventually, I started fighting back, but I still didn't do much, apart from take tinctures or look up things online. I get that's a part of the process, and, while I can't say I've come a lot way in recovering, maybe I'm not as bad as I was back then?
Don't force yourself TOO much. Though, don't be mistaken, you have to force yourself to do things. There's no other way around it. That's true for everyone in life. Risks have to be taken. Comfort zones need to be broken. If I'd listened to my Lyme, I wouldn't have signed up for classes at my community college last May. I wouldn't have gotten my nurse's aide certification. I wouldn't have passed all my classes since, and be ready to start the practical nursing program this summer. I'd be loading cups into machines at a factory, because that was easy, and it paid for my medical bills. I'd be sitting there, getting, in a sense, nowhere in life.
Am I afraid of failure? Yes. Do I think I can handle the workload? No. Am I going to keep trying? Of course. A few years ago, it was always, "when I get better." Yeah, it's still a matter of "when," but I'm making moves today. Now. Could I crash and burn? Could I flunk out? Yeah, totally possible. I won't know, unless I try. Plus, I mean, I've made it this far.
Short of my infections making a huge resurgence and frying my brain, accidental death, cancer, or something like that, I'm gonna have my dreams, eventually. I'm not the smartest, the strongest, I fall a lot, but... I keep getting back up. I'm good at that. Just keep getting up.
I know that's so much more difficult of a measure than my words imply. It's hard to get up, get out, and try and live a life that's not representative of you being chronically ill. Some of us are a lot more affected than others, not to make it a competition. Some of us don't have time, whether it's because of family pressures, work, etc. There are things that get in the way.
Work on your health, like I said. Nothing else matters, if I'm not healthy. Plus, if I can heal, I'll have the capacity for more growth.
But, life's short. Time goes by like running water. We're sick, I know. You feel ruined. But, there's not enough time in the world to not try and grow as human beings, too. Whatever that means to you, press for it.
Dreaming is a part of getting better, too.
I don't know if anyone will read this. It's probably a mess. Pull what you can from it.
Love you!
You got your Nursing Aide certification??? WOW!! VERY cool, NQA!!!! Very cool!!! AND congratulations!!
Yes, you have come a long way, NQA! I've known you for quite a few years now, and I remember those early days and how hard you struggled, and you have come a VERY long way!!! You ARE doing it!!! You are treating AND living your life!! I am very proud of how far you have come!!! Congrats!!