If not Lyme, Worry Will Destroy Me

Hey, All.

I wrote a week or two ago that things were going really well. I had felt great. I've been in pulse treatment (abx) for about a year, so that means 6 months' total of meds. My LLMD switched my meds and added liposomal artemisinin to the tetra about 45 days ago. I titrated up on the Art from 50mg 2x a day to 100mg 2x a day. My schedule for both are: 5 days on, 3 off, 5 on, 3 off, 5 on, 17 off. Rinse and repeat.

I've had some of my BEST days during the 5/3 pulsing. Toward the end of the last 3-day OFF-pulse, I had some scary heart stuff--skipping beats, shortness of breath, chest pressure. (I've had this before. This happened while I was away on book tour, so I had to go to a strange emergency at the insistence of my LLMD.) Of course, they found nothing. I felt perfectly fine within 12 hours.

I hadn't Rifed in a while, so back home, I stupidly did a 4-hour rife session for Lyme, bart, viruses, and babs on the second to last day of my on-pulse before the 17 days off. I had herxing that hit the 5 to 9th day afterward.

Yesterday, my 8th day on the 17-day off-pulse (and 9th day after the Rife) was my worst day in almost a year. HORRIBLE foot burning, shin burning, and lower back pain. My tinnitus went through the roof. The front half of sole of right foot felt very desensitized (not numb but half-numb). My skin felt irritated by my clothing.

So the worry--the never-ending fretting that I will have permanent symptoms, the confusion over whether this is a herx or the disease/s getting worse--is back home to roost. I swear the worry, which, when it comes around, ruins everything in my life from work to relationships. I cannot believe I am back here again after saying I was feeling so much better.

So my questions are:

1. Can Artemisinin do this 8 days AFTER having stopped taking it?
2. Can Rife do this 9 days AFTER a session?
3. Does worry eat away at you to this degree?

It's terrible.

I don't say this in the sense that you should just let the disease processes rule you, but you just have to accept that they're a thing, and that you're going to have to do the best you can to get better, whether that's with lasting damage or without.

At this point in the game, I'm not sure total recovery can be promised for anyone. Plus, depending on how long you've been sick,
I question whether you'd be able to determine what normal really is, as compared to your old self. Of course, the absence of physical symptoms. I'm more talking about the mental, I guess. It's been nine years since I got bitten. Subtle personality changes set in within those first few months. I don't remember Antonio, as I was, unaffected by Lyme.

I get really, really down about not being "me," my life being forever hindered, or what have you. Experiences lost. Friends. Relationships. All of it. Contrary to what the above said, there is reason to lose hope. A lot of them. It's gonna happen. These illnesses are relentless. You'd be inhuman to not get down, sometimes. I mean, I guess I can only speak for myself here, but I try to be really positive, but I do get down.

But, you know, getting back to what I was saying, that negative energy, anxiety, depression, hopelessness, whatever package in comes in, it's further detriment to my health. What can I do about it, except for wish the best and fight on? I want the "old me" back, but I don't know if that's gonna be a thing. I just hope for the best me I can get, given what cards I have left to play.

I don't know if this will help. I don't know if I should bother posting much anymore. I wish I could offer more in the way of advice. Treatment and otherwise. I'll have periods of research and implementation, but then I just kind of go where the wind takes me, when it comes to treatment.

Best wishes

So my questions are:

1. Can Artemisinin do this 8 days AFTER having stopped taking it? YES
2. Can Rife do this 9 days AFTER a session? YES
3. Does worry eat away at you to this degree? YES

Slow and consistent treatment is what I highly recommend. Otherwise you are stressing your body with quick, jerky motions. And this is just MY opinion.

Hey, all. Thank you for the kind responses. I thought it was herxing, as I do feel better today. (Of course, now that I saw that, which it all act up again!)

I know I was Donald Downer when I wrote the above. I have to remind myself (as my shrink did for me this morning when I saw her), I am not in a bad place with these illnesses. She makes me list all the things I have done and do so that I don't feel like a victim, which is so easy for me to do.

I'm seeing that worry and obsessing and obsessively researching is my way of trying to have a modicum of control over these illnesses, which in the end is impossible.

Slow and steady is the best way, i guess. Why in hell I thought I could blast 4-hours of Rife and NOT be affected is beyond me now. I just felt I needed to "catch up."

I will keep you posted as to how this goes. I hope I can return and say things have calmed down to previous states.

Sm.

It's very hard to be in treatment for a long time - I've been in treatment for these infections for a total of 6 years now (broke up though, as I was reinfected), and I face days where it's hard to continue and I just want to take large doses of everything to finally rid my body of these buggers - but I've also been through very intense and very serious herxing and have no desire to go back into that - so I do all I can to just carry on, ever so slowly. LOL.

Hang in there!! I'm so glad that it's all eased back up today!!!

NicHostetler said...
I was having the best weeks of treatment just a couple weeks ago. I thought I was on the way to a full recovery but I plateaued and now I am back at square one and feel just as bad or worse than ever

.

NicHostetler, I read through some of your past posts. It seems to me we're similar, in that your downturn sounds very, very much like a herx. Now, the good thing is--JK, it's working! The bad thing--it can hurt like an SOB. Try adjusting and titrating up slowly. I have a feeling you'll be back to where you were soon.

Smeadley

I agree with Traveler, Peteza and Goldengoose:

slow wins the race, respect your limits, you'll reach much further.

Goldengoose is using cannabis: I also think that treating specifically anxiety with whatever you think is useful is a wonderful way to go through lyme ordeal.

I swear that i also learned the bad way (whole body paralysis , unable to breathe): it was 'just' a herx, but what a scare it gave me.

Herxes can kill, it's in the medical literature! It's not something we should be playing around, as we all learn, in the end...

That night in the ER made me change my approach to CLEANING and binding neurotoxins as the MAIN part of my lyme treatment. I swear that when I did that, quality of life improved 10 times, even if I was treating lyme.

I even did not care about treating lyme, as I started feeling well during the day. Bind those neuro toxins off, you'll see for yourself. And kill SLOWLY, like all others here say.

Smeadley,
You have to take the activated charcoal at least 2 hours away from taking any ABX,Herbals etc. That way it doesn't bind the medications. Hope this helps.
Take care, Jo

I have taken activated charcoal and eaten with no consideration to the time taken.

I still has success with it.

Hopefully others will see this and add their experiences.

Take care, Jo

PeteZa said...
So my questions are:

1. Can Artemisinin do this 8 days AFTER having stopped taking it? YES
2. Can Rife do this 9 days AFTER a session? YES
3. Does worry eat away at you to this degree? YES

Slow and consistent treatment is what I highly recommend. Otherwise you are stressing your body with quick, jerky motions. And this is just MY opinion.

yep
when i switched to a daily rife schedule i rotated only 2 pathogens per day made out my will and kept on trucking ..it gets better ..remember long term art can cause neurotoxicity unless you use specific kinds

Bump.