Question for Men

mm57553 said...
But you don't know that. Lyme absolutely exists in Australia. And most people who have Lyme never recall a tick bite. So he may have very well have contracted while he was doing his outdoor thing. And this IS still a controversial issue. Dr. Horowitz, one of the premier Lyme docs, claims that sexual transmission is highly unlikely. I didn't get sick until last year, but the last time I recall being bitten by a tick was 35 years ago. And until I got sick, I was super healthy, happy, active too. Maybe I was infected in 2016, maybe I had it all along and my body was able to suppress it. I'll never know - just like you'll never know. You can be infected with Lyme and be perfectly healthy.

Do you know if Bartonella is sexually transmitted? I've been finding conflicting statements. Most of his symptoms point to bart, and I realised that Bart has actually been my dominant infection as well. His vision symptoms completely mimic mine, amongst a few others. I should probably stop speculating though and just wait until he goes to see my doc and gets tests done.

You're right though, he could've picked it up while being outdoors. The symptoms didn't kick in until after he had a major injury and then surgery a couple years back. It's been a slow onset, with one symptom on top of the other. But now he's been feeling very sick for 2 months straight. I think the infection took hold when his immune system was down. Since then it's been all down hill in terms of his health.

Hi Akreative
I'm a 54-year old US male. On losing friends, I can relate to your boyfriend. Lyme disease makes me feel weak and like I can't do anything without falling apart, from a muscle skeletal standpoint. Psychologically, I think it's very hard for men to be around other men when they're feeling weak and somewhat helpless. If you combine with that the chemicals/proteins that Lyme disease uses to make our bodies a comfortable home, weakness and chemical imbalance have effect on the mind. Further, since Lyme disease feeds on the myelin sheaths of the neurons in the brain, thinking is messed up due to poor electrical transmission. Also brain cells like other cells, as I understand it, send emergency messages when they're in danger/pain. With general physical weakness, chemicals out of balance, deteriorated myelin sheaths, and cellular emergency messages, it's no wonder that our brains are not functioning right.

Also, I had to take a part-time job, rather than continue to work full-time. I just couldn't take full-time work both in terms of body pain and physical fatigue. Where I differ from your boyfriend is that I haven't turned to food as a comfort mechanism. Lyme disease seems to have suppressed my appetite. So I've lost 25 to 30 pounds over the past five years.

Overall, I understand your boyfriend's frustration. If he has occasional bad temper, which may be a reaction to a lot of anxiety, I'm right there with him.

As to what to do now, I disagree with letter writing. I've been in a lot of conflicts even before I got Lyme, and I've never seen emails or letters help. They always make things worse. Particularly with me as a man, it's better to talk face to face. Emotions may start high, but then tend to calm down the longer we talk. As they calm down, conversation gets more rational. With Lyme mental dysfunction, conversations help people to understand things they could not have understood on their own. Plus those conversations help people to accept options that they otherwise might not have.

One last note, I disagree with you that you are 100% responsible for his Lyme disease. From my reading, Lyme does not like oxygen or survive well around oxygen, thus ozone treatments. Ticks transmit Lyme well by creating a sealed bite that in turn gives a low oxygen environment. I don't completely discount sexual transmission, but since heterosexual sex doesn't usually create open wounds that provide for low oxygen fluid to fluid disease transmission, I believe like other previous writers that he probably got it from being outside and being bitten. I saw one article which claimed that in Europe there was transmission through mosquito bites, so it might not have been a tick bite. I hope you don't beat yourself up over a something you can't prove.
Best of luck! Aylett