Realization: Panic attack / trouble driving is because of vision / balance! (Depersonalization too)

I had a realization: The panic attack and anxiety that are preventing me from driving are related to sensory input.

My recent Lyme flareup caused problems with my vision and balance. Driving is causing anxiety because it makes me dizzy and things don't look right. The motion contributes, and so does looking around at all the different things that I'm having trouble focusing on. A big clue was that if I look at something inside the car and then back outside, I get a huge wave of dizziness. The sensory input is overwhelming and frightening, and the panic attack I had last week was part of a fight-or-flight response. I thought maybe anxiety was causing things to look weird as I started to lose my cool, but it's the effect, not the cause. (At least mostly.)

This anxiety is improving with the other Lyme symptoms as this massive herx subsides. It's uneven, sometimes better and sometimes worse, and when things look and feel normal, the anxiety disappears. This can switch back and forth many times within a single drive -- so strange. I literally feel like a switch is sliding one way or the other -- now you feel normal, now you feel crazy.

I came across a clue in a post on another board about a young Lyme patient with an affected vestibular system. The kid in question there also had depersonalization, and I think this is also related to my mini depersonalization episode at the worst of this flareup (felt like I was looking at someone else's hands while trying to cook). My senses aren't working normally, and my brain knows something isn't right as it tries to process the input. Or maybe the problem isn't with the input but rather the processing in the first place.

I don't know much about any of this stuff yet, so all of this is just an observation and my interpretation at this point in time. But I feel like I found a big clue and I'll be trying to learn more.

That's an interesting point about sounds. I am having a hard time listening to people while doing things -- it makes me really irritable. Definitely the extent it affects you, but very interesting. I bet your husband takes you seriously after the toothbrush incident.

Thanks for mentioning convergence insufficiency. I'll look into it. My eyes feel "jumpy" sometimes, like they refuse to keep looking at something.

Moonchez -

Very interesting. I don't think my experiences were as severe but I did have to stop driving.

Dahlias -
When I stopped driving those weird movement sensations improved. I was losing peripheral vision or the brain's understanding of what was happening around me or the lag time in communication to the brain or whatever it was... I drive now but not daily.

I also used to get so easily spooked and would be so irritable with multiple sounds - like people talking in an open office, with printers and phones ringing.

I went to a Lyme-knowledgeable neuro and he ran all the tests and had no idea what was causing my vertigo, seizures, tinnitus, or those bizarre incidents like you're describing with motion and vision. But he stated that a lot of his Lyme pts report the same sx and he feels that most neuro sx are caused by inflammation of the nerves. So that is something to consider.

Those sx for me have all reduced considerably - I credit more tx under my belt, antibiofilms and anti-inflammatories.

-p

Very interesting. I'm sorry your sx are so extreme - I can imagine how difficult it is to experience. Bumping to get more views, hopefully.

-p

Moonchez, I think that's exactly what I'm experiencing.

On the way to Jemsek clinic right now -- drove to the Metro and my brain is completely overwhelmed between the driving and all the sounds at the station. Trying to hold it together. Now I feel like I have a glimpse into what autism might feel like. Sensory onslaught.

Yes, I think that is the case. I think my oldest child had sensory integration disorder as a baby, but I didn't realize it as a new mom. And I've always tended a bit that way myself.