Feeling Suidical

Hi WalkingbyFaith,


Thank you for responding and your suggestion. I've actually been thinking about trying to find a church where I live. Trying to find the right one I guess. Plus getting around is currently an issue for me as I haven't been able to drive in months. Same problem with support groups, don't seen to be many here for Lyme but I'm working on trying to find when and where there are any and if it's possible for me to get to them.

Thanks again. Hopefully I can find and decide on something soon. Even making simple decisions takes a huge amount of effort these days.

Yes, the moon certainly can be a factor. Thanks for the reminder and the pep talk!

Notquite - I glanced thru most of the comments, not in detail.

Full moon aside, I didnt see anything about non-addicting herbs/supplements for anxiety and / depression. They can help. There are multiple combinations available. Some are more for stress. When you brain feels like it cant slow down, this stuff helps many people and its readily available. Any vit/sup store has a shelf/area for this.

Seen the Cymbalta mentioned, looks like your not on it at the moment (?)- shouldnt combine natural herbs with that though.

The dysfunctional company you work for: I've read a lot about this, and like others here, also experienced it. Its unfortunately more common than it should be. Then, we are brainwashed by the media and society that we should love and have a challenging career ect. Dont go out of your way for a place that wont acknowledge your efforts. Do what you need to and no more.Some places you just have to remind yourself you're there just for the paycheck. Some of my fav jobs, weren't careers, just jobs with simple people.

Post Edited (astroman) : 11/4/2017 9:27:51 AM (GMT-6)

Hi notquite, as far as the cymbalta goes, I wonder if the doc might be willing to have eaither a phone or Skype appointment with you? I realize 2 years ago was a long time & they'll likely want to see you, but it might be worth asking....

I totally understand the overwhelming feeling associated with even thinking about beginning a relationship with a new doctor- besides the $, the physical time & effort & transportation etc. for me there's also the fact that it takes a major emotional ( & therefore physical) toll as well.

Then , all that said - a lot of the time it just doesn't work out anyway... too much to deal with when you're already dealing with Lyme& co & life!

Hope you are able to figure something out! I'm also without a GP, something that has come to be a major problem during this whole Lyme thing. I regularly find myself saying- oh, now I get it. This is why people have general practitioners...

Hey guys,

Thanks so much for all of your input re the Cymbalta. I think what I've decided to do is to call the LLMD I used to see on Monday, and try to schedule an appt. the same day that I next see my naturopath. Then, I can just schedule a vacation day at my less-flexible job, and use the whole day to catch up on my health. That's the only way I'll be able to fit the 3 hours of driving into my schedule. And then, I won't have to deal with all of the emotional ramifications of starting a new relationship with a new doc. While I'm at it, I can also get his input regarding possibly adding an antibiotic or two into my regimen. Currently, I'm treating solely with herbs and some amoxicillin that I was able to procure on my own.

Astroman--thank you for the reminder re the dysfunctional job. I'm the kind of person who wants to do the very best I'm capable of doing always. But you're right--some people/situations just don't warrant/deserve that. I'll try to remind myself of that going forward. It IS much more common than it should be (dysfunctional companies)--and I think becoming more and more so. A reflection of an increasingly dysfunctional society, I think. Which the whole politicization of Lyme disease is (and the dysfunctionality of the medical community that is failing to adequately treat it), as well, in my opinion.

Hi Alyeska,

Thank you for speaking up! I know--teenagers and bills to pay. How on earth is stress anything but inevitable?!
The bad periods, when they hit, can really feel like they're going to end us, can't they? At least after dealing with this disease for years now, I've had enough experience to know that the really bad times always give way to feeling much better--at least for a while. So even when my brain's not functioning well, and I feel as though I just want to give up, there's a tiny, tiny voice somewhere far, far away that reminds me that I've been in this place before and come through it.

Today I made an appt. with my LLMD--the one I haven't seen in over 2 years. Couldn't get it on the same day as the naturopath, but I have plenty of vacation time. I'll take a 1/2 day for the naturopath, and a full day off for the LLMD. I'll have my Cymbalta RX before Thanksgiving, and before I run out of the capsules I've been dividing into fourths. Oh, and my LLMD even takes my new insurance--something else I was worried about. Not only that, but I haven't seen a primary care this year at all, so I should be able to call the visit a yearly checkup and it should be free! One problem solved, and one less worry on my plate! Some progress has been made!

Thank you Alyeska,

I've heard the "rather have cancer" thing from more than one person, too. One time from a woman who has experienced both, and knows what she's talking about! I think part of it is that there is so much sympathy for cancer out there, and people really don't understand how devastating Lyme can really be.

Yes, small progress has been made. It's so hard to explain to people who haven't been there, but it's like my brain loses the ability to take in the positive aspects of what's going on around me when I'm at a certain point in this illness. Like I'm physically incapable of feeling the good aspects, and my brain forces me to stay stuck on all of the challenges. Maybe some of you understand what I'm talking about? But it's absolutely exhausting! Add to that the fact that the disease messes up my sleep patterns [waking time for me this morning was 3:30 a.m. ], and I'm amazed sometimes that I'm still standing, never mind running a household and functioning at two jobs. We who are dealing with this stuff are MUCH stronger than people give us credit for. I was raised in a dysfunctional household with a parent who attempted to destroy my self-confidence. But this disease is teaching me that I'm really incredibly strong and deserving of respect and admiration. We all need to remember/realize that about ourselves!