Feeling worried and discouraged

So much has happened to me in the past year. Compared to a year ago, I feel like I have less physical symptoms and pain now, but somehow I feel like I'm sicker and more mentally disabled now.

I'm in the 6th month of Buhner's protocol for bartonella plus cats claw and danshen/skullcap for Lyme. Still at low doses. In the last month and a half, I really started noticing some improvements. At the same time, I felt changes in my body - like the infections and systemic dysfunction were going deeper. I don't know how else to explain it. It was just a feeling I had.

I haven't worked since March. I can't return to my old job. I'm in the process of retiring early under disability. I hired a lawyer to help me. Anyway, there have been times when I've had pretty good days and wondered if I was even really that sick. Then I have days like this past Thursday that scare me and clearly reveal that I've sunken to lower levels of disability than I was even aware of.

I had some important paperwork I needed to complete and had been procrastinating because anything important overwhelms me now. I had looked at the papers a couple of weeks ago and thought I knew what I needed to do. Well, I got the papers out and realized there was a TON of stuff I needed to do. I absolutely panicked and started shaking like a leaf. I'm crying as I'm writing this. I feel so embarrassed and incompetent and am afraid of what's going to happen to me - if I'm just going to keep declining or if I can ever be halfway normal again.

I used to be a smart, competent, and well-respected person. Now I just feel like a half-baked hysterical woman who can't handle normal stress and real life.

Has anyone else had lows or declining functioning in the middle of treatment and go on to regain what they lost?

Sign me up for worried and discouraged, too. What’s happening this month?!?

I am feeling the same way, I don't get it. I was doing great. All I can attribute it is to the fact that my other issues are cropping up. If you're not healing its probably because you have more than just lyme.

I'm currently getting rid of my candida and my brain fog has cleared up, but now my EBV has started to flare up so I've got that to deal with.

If it isn't one thing...it's definitely another- that's what I've learned from this disease. There's always something I'm trying to fight off.

I think its normal to get worried. When I get really worried I think its my inner self telling me to do something. For example-I recently started using my ozone machine again and my sauna. I think having my own makes it way cheaper and easier,

Maybe you should take some new action

Hello!

Walking by Faith, I am so sorry to hear you are having such a difficult time. Do all of you whose cognitive function seem worse live in areas where the weather is getting colder? I live in the Northeast and have noticed a bit of decline as well over the last week. I know 2 of my daily directives are to heat the body up and exercise so maybe the colder environment which I know also keeps me inside more (less active) makes a difference? I know that by the end of last winter I couldn't even keep a thought in my head long enough to write it down if I was sitting with a pen and paper!! This winter will be better. Like you, Walking by Faith, I would get overwhelmed with tasks, discussion, decisions etc. very easily and one thing that helped me if I had something important to address was to do it first thing in the morning before I had been thinking about very much. Sometimes it would take a few days before I would be able to face it but eventually I could. I don't know if your schedule allows that or if that will work for you but thought I would throw it out there. I do believe that you are a smart and competent person and that you will return to feeling that way. Also, I only get on the internet about Lyme when I need to do some research so I don't frequent these message boards very often but was compelled to reply to your email because 1.)it broke my heart to read your post and 2.) because of your name. I don't know which faith you are referring to but if you are a christian, as I am, it has been the biggest source of comfort, strength, confidence, bravery, hope, gratefulness, peace, deliverance, and healing. If you are also and are interested in discussing further, I would be happy to email with you. I, by no means, have it all figured out but this has been what has kept me afloat, especially during the seven years of undiagnosed Lyme when I had no idea what was going on with my health and was debilitated physically, mentally, and emotionally. I am hoping you feel better soon.

proactfit said...
Hello!

Walking by Faith, I am so sorry to hear you are having such a difficult time. Do all of you whose cognitive function seem worse live in areas where the weather is getting colder? I live in the Northeast and have noticed a bit of decline as well over the last week. I know 2 of my daily directives are to heat the body up and exercise so maybe the colder environment which I know also keeps me inside more (less active) makes a difference? I know that by the end of last winter I couldn't even keep a thought in my head long enough to write it down if I was sitting with a pen and paper!! This winter will be better. Like you, Walking by Faith, I would get overwhelmed with tasks, discussion, decisions etc. very easily and one thing that helped me if I had something important to address was to do it first thing in the morning before I had been thinking about very much. Sometimes it would take a few days before I would be able to face it but eventually I could. I don't know if your schedule allows that or if that will work for you but thought I would throw it out there. I do believe that you are a smart and competent person and that you will return to feeling that way. Also, I only get on the internet about Lyme when I need to do some research so I don't frequent these message boards very often but was compelled to reply to your email because 1.)it broke my heart to read your post and 2.) because of your name. I don't know which faith you are referring to but if you are a christian, as I am, it has been the biggest source of comfort, strength, confidence, bravery, hope, gratefulness, peace, deliverance, and healing. If you are also and are interested in discussing further, I would be happy to email with you. I, by no means, have it all figured out but this has been what has kept me afloat, especially during the seven years of undiagnosed Lyme when I had no idea what was going on with my health and was debilitated physically, mentally, and emotionally. I am hoping you feel better soon.

Proactfit,

Oh!! God bless you!!! Just to know that God prompted you to join the forum just so you could respond to my post ministered to me more than you could know. Yes, I am a Christian. I don't know how anyone survives Lyme disease without Jesus. Can you enable your email? Then I would be able to email you. I went undiagnosed for 7.5 years. I just found out a year ago and started Buhner's protocol in June.