A little off subject

I am very sorry you are having to deal with this along with Lyme.

It is even worse since you have to see her each day at work. Ugghh

Please try to keep in mind that there will be the right person out there for you. May not happen this week, this month or even this year..but I truly believe there is someone out there for each one of us.

You know, if she was able to steadily see someone so quick after you all broke up, maybe her feelings for you were not as deep as yours for her.  If I ever had any doubt how much my husband loves me, he has more than showed me by standing by me thru out this illness.  That person is out there for you as well.

All things happen for a reason, alot of times that reason is not immediately clear to us.

Please try to keep your spirits up and know you have alot to offer that right person out there, and then your life will be happy and complete!

James, so sorry your going thru this. i agree with 1bitten, if she can jump into anothers arm so fast, not to mention dumping you so fast b/c your sick. she didnt have the same feeling for you as you did for her.

and in some sad way your getting sick was a blessing in disguise. to show you she wasnt the girl for you. maybe this can give you piece of mind to think of this way.

i know when i left my ex. i didnt even think of dating even for over 4 yrs. yet he was with as many girls as he could from day 1. hmm how loved who huh. well its sad and yes it hurts our hearts. but we do get over it and afterwards we are able to see the true colors of there behavior. and know they never loved us as we loved them.

odds are the day you stop looking for true love it will walk into you. this is how it worked for me, and a few of my friends too. never settle and know there is someone who will be with you sick or not, thats true love.

¤°´¯BIG.¤*¨*¤(¯`´¯)¤*¨*¤.Hugs¯`°¤.

When I look back at the people I thought I was in love with I am so grateful that those relationships did not work out for me as it opened the door for the man I married. That is hard to believe when you feel so depressed about being alone but it is true. Anyone that would leave you because you are sick is way too self serving to spend the rest of your life with.

James,

You are a good guy and you are amazing for doing that. I can tell you that I wouldn't have been nice for sure! You will find a great woman. I just know it. Then that "little girl" you were dating will regret leaving you.

this is a crazy year.. to say the least.. i had a lot of good years and alot of years that was pretty normal that ran in together. But 2009 will always be remembered for the "change" of my life

James, I am so sorry! I know this sux! Bad!

In my 'post divorce' life I have been dumped by a couple of guys that I KNEW I was not in love with (well, sorry -- I was in love w/ the 2nd one) -- and even tho I was not in love w/ that person, it hurt really bad. I even ended up feeling I was in love him AFTER the dump, even tho I was not in love w/ him DURING the relationship!

James, that one was 16 years ago. I hung on to my feelings for him for more than several years afterwards, and all for NOTHING. about 9 years ago, all of a sudden I was OVER those feelings and TO THIS DAY I have no clue WHAT I even saw in him! I THANK GOD frequently for NOT giving me what I was begging for because NOW I know I had to have been out of my mind for begging God to make him love me.

I know this stuff does not do you any good right now, because you are hurting now. But I hope you know that time will help heal this pain. As time goes by, you will still hurt, but in time, the pain will not be as sharp and deep.

Here's a little true story:

Some years ago, my daughter was living with 'the right one'. They did not marry, but talked regularly about their marraige. Bought a house together, adopted 2 dogs and a cat together.

Had some issues, but no point in writing about them. One Sunday, while laying down for a nap, he said to her: 'I know this relationship needs some work. But honestly, I just don't care enough to do it.'

At first that seems cold and harsh. But my daughter at that time was 24 yrs old, gorgeous and a manager of a bank. Of course, I ran over there as soon as she told me. But the first thing I thought to say to her was, 'Thank you, Justin'. I was so grateful for his honesty and the fact he did not wait 15 years and 3 kids later!'

James, her heart was broken........ For about an hour. She was then relieved of a struggle to make a partnership w/ a man who did not love her enough to continue. To this day, we are both grateful for his honesty. And we both know that he was not the right one for her.

That you have to work w/ your ex is really crappy, frustrating, and difficult. But know that each day that you do this, it will become just a tiny little bit easier.

I know that you do not want to hear this now, but hopefully one day not too far away, you will realize that she was not right for you. If she was, she would have been very passionate and compassionate about your serious illness. She would not have left you. She would not have cheated on you (if she did) and would not have taken up w/ someone else so soon. It is at least good that you found out before getting in any deeper.

Again, I am very sorry. And I'm very sorry this was too long. I just needed to tell you this stuff, because even if it does not help today, it will help one day. I know because I have (sort of) been there.

Except for the Lyme part, time is on your side. It will pass quicker than you think!

Yeah, I know, James. It hurts really bad. And I'm sorry.

These days, it just seems that most people are about 2 inches deep. They go about their lives, hurting others w/ great abandon and don't even stop to think about what they are doing and who they are hurting. I do not understand it.

And I'm sure it doesn't help your health any, either.

time heals all wounds. time wounds all heals.

sounds corny, but it is SO true!

James, congratulations on selling your house in a down market. You must have kept it up and were in touch with what people are looking for in a house. That's something that you can be proud of! But, it's also a lot of stress, even though it was something that you sought out to do on purpose. How were you able to go through that??!!! Being sick and all.....wow!
I hope that you're able to rest some at your folks' home now, and get caught up and look toward the future. You are very fortunate that you've been in a position where you were debt-free, even if you aren't right now. It's an impressive goal. I'll bet it felt great! Wish I could say I was there, but, hmmm....
I am so sorry about Amanda and her apparent lack of feeling. It's hard to understand how some people can do that....turn it off and on...
You have acted nobly on her behalf in admitting to her that you were not able to be what you believe she deserves due to your current illness. And you continue to show your true character in not wishing her ill, even though she has certainly not repaid your friendship and understanding by taking advantage of you (the furniture) and acts like she doesn't know who you are at work. Maybe the current BF is a jealous type, and would go nuts if she were to talk to you now. Think about it. Maybe he's got a major insecurity thing going. And the sight of her, talking to YOU, would be too much.
Please get some rest and take your meds and do other things that your dr. tells you to do right now, so that you can feel better soon. If you think that you can't get past this, perhaps your dr. would prescribe an antidepressant right now. I believe that depression is linked somehow with Lyme, and your brain might need some chemical re-adjustment after this blow.
Good luck, and let us know how you're doing.

cleo, i didn't think your post was blah blah blah.. it was very detailed. and yes, i do think this will pass.. It is just something about seeing her everyday at work that is keeping me from totally moving on. And i got to hear from other employees about what amanda and her new b/f did last night or what they plan on doing sometimes.. I get asked if i'm hurt from it.. I just tell them, not to bring her name up in conversation anymore, i'm trying to move on.. But some of the employees are friends with me and her, so they know everything about whats going on with her.. Its pretty terrible actually..

As far as selling the house, i kept it pretty clean and had it staged nice to sell.. It was hard to move and to sell at the same time being sick.. I actually got real sick (at my worst) 2 weeks before the closing date.. I pushed through it though.. I think the stress and the moving made everything worse prolly.. but who knows.. that chapter of my life is over.. The house did put me in some debt, that i'm repaying now since i'm able to. I just want to move on with my life now, but i know i need to pay off my debt which will prolly take a good year to do so i can breath again. But then i know that full year will be a lonely one and my life is pretty much on stand still since i won't really be able to have any relationships since i'm living at home again. UGHHH!! but i know getting healthy and paying of my debt is most important since i have that opportunity now, And i want to have a brighter future. Its just hard, alot of negatives still in my life, but i'm trying to focus on what i can control and do that...

Victoria is right! Don't entertain thoughts that bring you down. And, when your co-workers bring up the subject (which they do because, let's face it, people love to gossip and some people like to try to get reactions so they have more gossip), good for you to ask them not to talk about her/them with you. You might go one step further, and pretend you weren't listening, say "huh? I'm sorry, I wasn't listening, I didn't get much sleep last night, hard to focus. Met some girl on the internet, and time just flew by". Something along that line. Or "Why do you keep talking about her? Are YOU interested in her now?" and snicker.

Rough having to see her. And hear about her. The best revenge is to be happy and enjoy life. Which you can, because you've got plans and aspirations and a game plan. Good luck and good health. Get plenty of rest and drink lots of water to flush out those toxins. Take a day off if you can if it gets too bad. Wear your ipod so people don't gossip to you. Pick up the phone when you see one of the bearers of gossip heading your way and call your own answering machine or something. Keep checking your watch when someone comes up to you with that gossip, and excuse yourself because you're expecting a call/need to place a call/have a meeting, etc. Make a list of excuses and have them ready.

Get some rest and take care!

Hi James, I feel your pain. I'm in the middle of a broken romance, well sort of. We still talk on the phone send emails, but it's not the way it used to be.

There is no one else involved with either one, so maybe someday.

The days seem long and empty I know and I'm thinking the only cures are time or better still maybe someone new will come into your life.

When it rains it pours, but eventually the sun will come out.