to work or not to work

I have been so overwhelmed lately. I was actually progressing very nicely in my lyme treatment (Buhner's protocol) until 6 months ago when horrible stomach issues began. They turned out to be Celiac Disease and ever since that diagnosis it seems like it's caused my lyme progression to halt and backslide. Being "glutened" is every bit, if not MORE, painful than lyme flare-ups so I've been in so much pain so constantly that I've been getting so sloppy with keeping up with my herbs/detox baths/cooking&nutrition etc etc. It's a big catch-22.

Part of me is terrified of not working because I won't have something to distract myself from the pain. Another part of me is terrified of long term disability and only having 67% of my income. I couldn't live on that. But then again, as far as disability goes, all I'm educated on is my company's disability... I don't have the slightest clue how that works with social security. ugggghgh.

This is also bad timing with work. Our team is growing and having quadruple the amount of projects we used to. Me getting sicker while workloads get heavier is of course taking it's toll. I don't want to be dragging the team down or stalling my health process, so for right now I'm thinking of just taking a 3 month short term disability leave through my company and seeing how I feel after that and going from there.

THOUGHTS?? :( I know no one can tell me what to do, I'd just like to hear some of your experiences with work / disability.

For those on disability...where do I begin? Should I eventually consider getting a lawyer to help figure the mess of disability?

Only you can make that decision, and it's a tough one to make. I was always the kind of person who would rather be dead than not be busy (needless to say that's changed a bit!) so I went from working full time to 9 hours a week at an unpaid internship...at which point I was getting so sick there that I had to quit, and I've been in the process of applying for social security disability ever since.

Hopefully it's an easier process with your company, but SS disability is a tough one - if you're going to get a lawyer, do it right away! I waited until the appeals process to get one - I really think having a lawyer might've sped things up the first time around. Also if you do get a lawyer, don't just go with the first one you meet because you're tired and just want to get it over with. That turned out to be a nightmare for me and now I'm in a contract with a lawyer who is very rude to me and quite careless with my case.

Taking a short leave might not be a bad idea - even on some of my better days I can't imagine how I could possibly work a full day. If it's going to do more harm than good in the long run, be too much stress on your body, then that's definitely worth considering. But do find something else to distract you! Doing nothing but being sick is a much harder life than being sick while living your life. Best of luck!

I'm in a similar boat.

My suggestions look into a disability lawyer right away as borderlyme says. You want to get the ball rolling as it's a long tedious process.

Also don't look at it as giving up what you do. It's your right to be healthy, take your hiatus to do that. If
it's a company worth working for they will understand and have a spot for you when and if your ready in the future.

Take extra time to heal and reflect on what's important to you and your happiness.

Also general assistance and government programs may supplement some of your lost funds.

hope this helps

Yes, that's an option. I work for a giant fortune 500 company so the options are endless. (thank god!) But I think I want a full short-term break. I can keep my mind occupied writing/reading/illustrating. It's what my family and friends are all convinced I was put here to do anyway, might be a great and therapeutic opportunity.

It's a tough call the way you explain it. Though, for me, I could NEVER stop working as it provides distraction and ambition for me to keep living. I have always found that, the more you can stay engaged with your 'normal' life, the better you feel longer term and the better chance you have to recover. That said, I do take advantage of sick time, vacation time and even working from home if I need it. Since I have worked for the government (NASA) for quite a while now, I have built up 15 weeks of sick time and 8 weeks of vacation - plus the ability to telework on occasion. It sounds like you have many options as well with your company!  With the economy these days, it scares me to think of not working and then trying to find a job after recovery. I am 52 and have worked since age 15 - full time almost exclusively (even in my teenaged years!)

I do detect in your postings though, that you seem to be WANTING to try something new - that's GREAT! And, if that is the case, just do it - we all have to follow our callings! But, try not to think of the reason for change as being sick. The more the sickness is used to create changes in our lives, the more control it gains over us - at least this is one man's opinion! Change because you WANT to, not because you HAVE to! That said, I agree with borderlyme in that, if the work is creating so much stress that it is counterproductive to healing, then you need to make some sort of adjustments including even quitting a job or taking a long-term leave. Health and family comes before anything else. For me, though, being the family breadwinner, not working would cause me more stress (because of financial issues) than working with the knowledge that I can take off days when I need to. This is just my perspective - yours will be completely different and your decision will be yours alone - good luck with your healing!!! 

Post Edited (yazzer) : 5/20/2012 7:38:00 AM (GMT-6)