Lyme disease and Family not believing you are sick.

Praying, I am so sorry that you are going through this. It sounds like your family has abandoned you (and apparently your husband). It sounds to me like there may be other issues involved. Of course I could be wrong, but if you think there is, maybe you can find someone who can help you and your children address these issues. Why do you feel like you were a "horrible mother"? Unless you were abusive to them while they were growing up, why would you say that? Most parents feel like they could have done things differently in some way or another. It doesn't mean they were horrible parents. Love is unconditional so if your children truly love you, they should be open to being in your life. That doesn't mean they have to agree with you and your actions. Just cutting you off is just plain wrong in my book. Family is an important source of support and not having that doesn't help in the healing process.

No Cat I was NEVER abusive to my children! I was trying to say in my own lyme demented way that its possible my children are not caring adults and I thoght I'd rasied them better than that! How DARE you say something like that to me, ALL I did was open UP and be honest which I'll never do again! And I said my husband has always been supportive! I AM SO UPSET about THIS NOW MY CHESH IS HURTING! HOIW COULD YOU!

ALL I WAS DOING WAS LETTING THIS PERSON KNOW IT HAPPENS TO A LOT OF US.

I WILL NEVER COME HERE AGAIN OR open UP IN SUPPORT OF OTHERS AGAIN.

Wow, OUCH. So many people have been treated so shabily by those who should be the most loving and supportive.

Just Me - thank you for sharing such a painful hit with us. I have had a much lesser dose of the rude, cold dismissal and it is still gut wrenching.

I don't know what your sister thought she would accomplish but if what she wanted was to hurt you she clearly succeeded. What kind of goal is that?

It is really heartening to see how many people here will take on the role of support group. I keep thinking back to the days when fibro myalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome were 'all in your head' diagnoses.

My mother has only provided tepid support for me regarding my son's Lyme. She doesn't believe he has it - negative test even though he had the rash.

But, everything anyone suggests as an alternative diagnosis is also "wrong". I suspect the only acceptable diagnosis is that I'm not doing a good job of raising my son.

Praying For a Miracle - If you were a good mom up until you got Lyme then I doubt that part of you changed.

Even if that was ONLY your bitterness speaking, don't belittle yourself please! After a while we start to believe our own self critiscism as true.

Yes, it sounds like you were abandoned after you were down. Pretty $#!++/.

Why kids who were kind changed? I think the way "no chronic Lyme" sites are written encourages dismissing Lyme patients as fakers and attention hogs and whiners.

Once something is "in our heads" then any negative description seems justified. But really, how can having Lyme be better than having our previous lives?!

Someone just decided she knew me, my son, and my level of knowledge better than I do and after about 1 minute started doubting he has Lyme, then back pedaled to "just don't put him in a box!" Really? Because I just jumped to an uninformed conclusion?! Nice.

Where the idea that the MOST common widespread infectious disease in the USA, under-reported times ten, is rarer than a psychological break with reality came from I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

Meanwhile, WE know better. Good luck. No one needs to have an emotional kick in the teeth in the middle of this but we still have to dig in and take care of our selves. We do have to surround ourselves with people who are good for us.

We can hope one day the ignorant ones will actually have the class to say -I was wrong, I'm sorry. But, don't hold your breath.

Lastly, Thank you all for reminding me how it feels to not be taken seriously because it's not me, it's my son who has the pains and the fog, and depression so I have to be careful deciding when to push him harder and when to comfort and console him.

Good luck to us all.

Hi Prayingforamiracle,

Please don't leave! I think it was truly just a misunderstanding.

My mom also struggles with how my siblings have turned out. She blames herself for how they behave, the choices they've made in life, etc. Please don't blame yourself. You did nothing wrong.

Please stay :) Please?

Hugs,
Bluebyyou

Praying for a miracle, I wasn't trying to say that you were a "horrible mother". I was responding to YOUR reference to being one. I was asking you why your thought you felt that way. I mentioned "abuse" only to say that it should be the only reason children are jusified in treating parents the way you have been treated. I was trying to be supportive, not realizing you would take it that way. California is right....the phrasing was not quite right. I meant it in a general sense. Instead I wrote it in a personal context, not realizing you would take it that way. It was only to get you to think about why you would say that. I am offended that you said "How dare you" but I realize you felt it was an attack...and in that case I am sorry for upsetting you. It was certainly not intended. I am here to help my husband, learn from others, and be supportive. I certainly would not want to cause anyone any more pain than they are going through with this illness.

By the way, I had a sister-in-law who would tell me she must have been a "horrible mother" because her husband basically led her to believe that. We were close friends. She passed away of cancer 4 years ago. Prayer,I would question her the way I questioned you. She had low self-esteem from being abused for many years so I worked on that with her. She told me that my way helped her realize her self-degrading comments were bringing her down even more. It helps a lot if we look at our positive attributes and not question our worthiness. I have gone through a lot of emotional pain with depression so I have had to train my mind to accept that I am worthy and not to be so hard on myself. Even though emotionally I can hit rock bottom, I have trained my mind to say it's not real. That's not to say my feelings aren't real to me. I can still feel depressed -after all it isn't controllable - but at least I can function better. It's just that if a person is feeling normal, they don't react the same as when they are going through something like Clinical Depression, hormonal issues, and maybe even Lyme. It is easier for people to lift themselves out of a hard time if they aren't dealing with something that causes havoc with their emotions. I know that when I am feeling good, I don't question my actions, ability, and worth like I do when I feel poorly. So when I do feel that way, I try to use positive thoughts to try to stabilize my feelings a bit. I can get really get down on myself. I like people to question me when my insecurities cloud my judgement. I thought I was helping "Prayer" by doing this. I don't have Lyme - at least not that I know -but my husband does. It is playing havoc with his emotions so I realize how it can affect people. I hope I was clear. People don't always believe that depression is something one can't "just get over". Unless people go through it, it is very difficult to understand. Take care of yourself Prayer. If you feel that this site is helping you and you are helping others, why would you want to leave? Misunderstandings and disagreements will always happen. We just need to reach out no matter what mistakes we make or how we feel, then we can keep on supporting one another.