lyme fatigue and mothers day

Lyme disease SUCKS ! I am so exhausted that today will be the first time ever that I will miss mother's day dinner with my mom and family. I'm about to call her in a few minutes to let everyone know that I won't be there.

I didn't fall asleep last night 'til 2am and woke up this morning at 11am. They're meeting at a restaurant 45 minutes away from me and I just don't have the energy to join them. Hell, just showering and getting dressed anymore leaves me feeling like I need a nap !

I haven't quit my day job yet but, I'm getting closer by the day. I used to work 6:30 - 3pm. Then I pushed my hours back to 7:30 - 4pm. A few weeks ago, I moved my hours back again, now at 9:00 - 5:30pm. Most days I still don't make it into the office 'til 9:30 - 10am. If it was any other job, I probably would've been fired by now.

I'm 42 years old and this whole process has been very frustrating (as I'm sure you all understand). I'm also single, thus I have no one else to count on for an income to keep a roof over my head. Insurance isn't a big deal since I work with docs who don't contact with insurance companies anyway. I suppose I could apply for disability but, I know nothing about that process and don't know what dollar amount that provides. My memory is such that I wouldn't be able to recall the info anyway. Although I do have a friend at work who's husband is on permanent disability.... she knows the process / requirements well and she has an incredibly sharp mind... she's offered to sit in on any meetings I may have to attend if I do apply for disability and help me with the process. She's a sweetheart and a great friend.

This disease makes me feel so trapped.... physically, mentally, and most of all financially....!

I guess I should go call my mom to say Happy Mother's Day and let her know that I won't be attending the dinner.

Thanks blue, I appreciate the kind thoughts.

I always feel my worst in the morning and my best in the evening. Insomnia kicks in and I seem to be most productive between the hours of 6pm and 3am.... which isn't very convenient when it comes time to get up and get ready for work by 9am. :)

Thankfully, my mom seemed to be fairly understanding when I called her. I bought her the "Under Our Skin" dvd and sat down and watched it with her a few weeks ago. She didn't say much at the time but, I heard from my cousin who attends the same church as my parents that the following Sunday, the lyme documentary was all she could talk about and she seemed very concerned for me. It was nice to hear from my cousin that my mom understood the meaning behind the lyme documentary.