Posted 9/29/2013 3:38 AM (GMT 0)
My life was turned upside down since getting infected 15 months ago. I am unable to do things that I enjoyed doing like running marathons, daily 60 mile bike rides, doing stuff around the house and in my garage, and spending time with the family. All I do now is go to work and come home to bed.
Well, earlier this week, my car started to make engine noises, and because I am not in the mood for anything, I ignored it. The next day, my car overheated on the way home from work but I did make it home. I felt devastated, the water pump was broken. I have no money, and it is bad enough that I am sick and now my car is broken. I felt so depressed that I broke down and cried. Keep in mind that I am a guy and guys don’t do that.
Anyways, this is a feel good story, right? Well, the next day, I stayed home, borrowed my wife’s car, went to the auto parts store and bought what I needed to fix the car. The parts were not that expensive, which was a pleasant surprise. I was nervous because I don’t have the energy, strength, or mind to do something like this.
Well, as I started to do the repairs and started to work under the hood, my mind shifted from being focused on my illness to focusing on what I was doing. I began to feel this weight off my shoulders and something weird happened; I started to smile. I have not done that in a long, long time. It felt so good to be doing something that I enjoyed before my illness that I completely forgot that I was sick! It felt good to use the tools that I once used almost daily and to spend time again in the garage. If you are a guy, you will know how special that is.
Anyways, I was able to repair my car. It took me 7 hours to do something that would have taken me 2 hours before, but I got it done, and I felt great. I took the car out for a ride and it felt good that I was useful once again and felt proud of what I had accomplished.
The reason that I share this with you is so that you don’t let this illness consume you the way it has consumed me. Yes, we are sick and sometimes we feel miserable, but you know what? This doesn’t mean that we have to think about it every second of our lives and that we have to put our lives on hold, like I had done because of it. In the last two days, I called my family and we had a family get together here at my house and it was fun. It felt good to see people that I love laughing and having fun. I thought that I was going to panic and not tolerate the noise and all those people in my house, but the opposite happened. I had fun. I had forgotten what that feels like.
If you have stopped doing the things that you used to enjoy, try to get back to them. Sometimes we need that to feel better. I did.