I've been reading through this thread again. Thank you all for your replies.
I'm so sorry for everyone of you going through comparable situations. I have very very few but some good friends left (although I feel one is slowly taking distance). I'm gratefull for that.
Kathleenta, wow, your experiene brought me right back to my young adult years. I was diagnosed with hodgkin's lymphoma, and got a call from one of my friends mother. This is how it went, literally: 'M, Lucretia will no longer contact you, you will no longer see her. Your disease is too hard to handle for her, it is bad for her blood tension. Bye!'. End of the conversation, never heard them again.
In a Cocoon is right saying this "Life has been tough. But I know I need to honor MYSELF and allow myself the room and space to grieve."
I have an old and very wise friend on the other side of the world who always reminds me of that whenever I talk to him, that amongst other things. The knowledge of these wise people who step into your life, totally unexpected, but not accidental at all, is the greatest gift I received while being ill. I couldn't have made it without their advice. For me they are god sent.
Marie