i will try to keep it short. i know i am a stubborn person but i am still in this funk. still very depressed and still havent upped my meds.
i am still in the process of waiting to see an llmd. trying to get to one who follows burascano guidelines.
24 years old and just feel hopeless. the anxiety and depression are ruining me. i hide all this from my family and loving gf because i dont want them to suffer. i dont have much money, have had to take a break from school and only work part time right now. feel like a loser.
i had lyme about
9 years ago i believe? never saw the tick and no rash, but my knee became very swollen, couldnt walk on it without any pain. i am going to go back to the office to check records but i believe i was put on doxy for a month, 4 weeks, maybe more. i took the meds and everything cleared up.
went on with my life and up until 4 years ago i would say i had random bouts of anxiety and ocd. thought i had ms, convinced myself i had it. then i relaxes everything went away.
it would come in waves, then realized i had lyme as a kid. over the past 2 and a half years i would go through bouts of anxiety convincing myself i was dying. would have aches and restless sleep.
i was having erection problems and didnt feel like myself. went the first time, doc checked testosterone normal range but low. ran lyme because i was convinced my lyme was back, it was positive even though he said it will always test positive based on the antibodies but sent me to a id here in our area who treats lyme. its bad in my county and surrounding counties. she gave me doxy but i didnt have any herx reactions, didnt notice a change but i did eventually feel better. went on to have a good summer
i will jump to november i went back to the doc. still erection problems, t was low. wanted an mri and found a pit growth, no legions or anything on brain just the prolactinoma. saw it was 2300 normal range likw 3-15. been seeing a specialist about
it.
still convinced i have lyme. anxiety wont go away. since november random muscle aches and back pain. bad sleep. wont bump my lexapro any higher than 10mg. i dont want to
everyone says lyme. i read so much. i have a small crowded mouth plus bad teeth genes at 24 i have had 4 molars pulled to make room for braces, 2 wisdoms pulled, one tooth broken from a hockey game and pulled. an amalgam filling from when i was a kid, long enough to not remember when i got it done, and 2 rc. scared lyme is just relaxing in my mouth.
i am able to work, memory is ok sometimes i forget something short term. no brain fog.
i have cryptic tonsils, never had tonsilitis or sore throats really but i have bad breath sometimes when the pockets fill with debris. i can go on about
me
i just read so much bad. instead of thinking about
hurting oneself i want to think about
marraige etc. i love my gf but i dont want her to suffer. i dont want to suffer.
i read all these struggles on the forum. im just so lost. sometime si get hot gas after eating. im afraid lyme is going to damage me, maybe im sensitive to something now? can all these things be reversed? im scared for my heart, my life etc.
i need to leave somewhere for a few days. i dont know what to do it could all be lyme related, could be pituitary tumor causing the anxiety. i dont know how im going to go on living 30 years happy if im in pain. i pray at night asking to atleast make it to 30 so i can be there for my wedding and my love i want to get passed everything and go back to somewhat of a normal life again. responsible, but somewhat normal like food etc.
Post Edited (dvlsfan30) : 3/2/2014 10:40:57 PM (GMT-7)