Flood of emotions

I went to my PCP yesterday, knowing I would finally see the results of my Igenex test. I had already prepared myself mentally for a negative diagnosis (I was hoping for a clear positive)...and my PCP to dismiss Lyme disease.

I stopped at the receptionist and picked up the paperwork - and glanced down and saw the IgM was Igenex positive. I had made a list of which bands were relevant and pulled it out of my pocket...YES, I had ++ on one of them and a couple more + .

My PCP was totally supportive. She told me she treated a man a year ago...and she printed off what finally worked for him. It was Azithromycin (sp?) and Atovaquone. I said is that mepron?" She looked it up on her computer, and said it was. So, I told her - he probably had Babesia if he was treated with mepron. She admitted to me she was not at all knowledgeable...but she wrote him the prescription for him for 90 days but he had gone to the local ND who works in conjunction with Dr. M. (well- known Canadian LLMD - who is retired) and he had suggested the combo after many trials and errors of other meds. She said to me,"what do you want to do?" I asked for a doxy presc 200 mg x 2, she said 14, 21 or 28 days? I said 28.
I told her that I would be seeing the ND in town and also planning to go to the LLND in Richmond, BC.
I asked her how the patient is doing...she said, "he's a new man" and it's now one year later...and had been ill for quite a while - at least a year.
So, I get home and greet my husband with, "I'm positive" - he grabs me and hugs me and we both cry. Happy/sad at the same time. He says to me, "you have been so strong through this...I'm so proud of you." Very emotional time.

I now know the enemy I am fighting.

I remember when I got the diagnosis.
I was so confused: I cried, I was happy, I was mad. All kinds of emotions at the same time. It took me a while to get over it. I never expected that.

But then, I had been ill for 18 years, no one even bothered to listen to me. And then you finally get that paper in hands. It's official: you are not crazy!!

I know you were in such uncertainty about it all, I imagine it must be overwhelming...

Yes, it is overwhelming.

I've also questioned things...just this morning, I said to my husband, so I can say for sure I have lyme disease? Do you think it's for sure???
He said "yes" - you have so many symptoms...now you have the verification in your hand.

I've also questioned why I don't have this, or that - other symptoms that people have...but then I saw a utube video of a Canadian author who recently gave a lecture of lyme disease. She said she never had Stage 1 - she was hit with neurological lyme. And then I realized, that's what happened to me. I never felt flu like symptoms, or fatigue.

So, it's all different for us - mild/moderate/severe and fluctuating hourly, daily, weekly

My test was Igenex positive but CDC Negative. I take it as a positive.

So were you the same? Or were you Igenex negative, too?

yup - neurological symptoms. In fact they were my first symptoms. Vibrations, muscle twitches, anxiety...
The pain came later.

Hey Girlie,

You already know I'm so glad you have your results back finally. And it's clearly positive. Not that I want you to have this disease, but I want you to have an answer! And you got it. Now you can erase all the doubts and use your energy to fight.

You know I was a mess when I found out. Sad, thankful (for an answer), angry! Now, I'm still a little pissed off but I am definitely just focusing on detoxing and meds. 24/7. That's my mindset. I know you are the same. So... here we go my friend. We are on this healing journey together!

Girlie,

So glad you found your answer! It certainly is a diagnosis that brings out mixed emotions. Good luck with your healing journey.