Haunted House

Girlie,
You and I have similar situations. Sick long enough to be depressed that we aren't healthy yet. I find myself thinking about what I was doing this time last year. Ugh.

I'm sorry that your house makes you sad. I there any way you could turn one room into something special, like a little oasis for yourself while you recover. Maybe at the least you could switch some small things up, like New sheets or curtains or something.

I found a smudge stick that I will do throughout my house. It's a little bundle of sage that you burn to cleanse your house. I want something to signify a new beginning.

Try to sit outside until the weather is too cold. I watch birds, soak my feet and try to enjoy the sun. It's slot different than working and running around to stores like I used to, but it's less depressing than being in the house all day and it might help you get back to you.

We'll get there

Thanks for the tips.

I think I do need to get rid of some junk...my house is a mess...so that doesn't help.
Maybe I'll start with one room at a time, and get rid of the junk.

I'm thinking of going to church on Sunday.
I was raised void of any religion...but as I got older I started to feel like it was missing from my life. Now, I'm feeling like it's almost wrong to start going now...like...oh now you start going when you're desperate.
But, I feel like I need to let some of it go to a higher power. I don't mean giving up on fighting it, but just relinquish some of the burden. Does that sound awful?

Don't want to be rude but I've been dealing with this crap for almost 16 yrs and there are people who've had it longer than that on here. I wish it only hit me a year ago, I lost my late thirties, all of my forties and now my fifties dealing with this crap.

Revive - I'm sorry you've suffered for all those years. And, a year is nothing compared to what you've lost.

But, for me a year of this is enough already!

I do know there are people who are suffering more on a daily basis - I'm lucky I can still walk and I can get around with ease. I may be weak and sore, but I can still get up and go if I want to. I am grateful for that.

I'm sorry if I offended you - I hope you get well soon!

Hi Girlie,
Whenever I feel up to it, I start cleaning out stuff I don't need anymore. I give it to the thrift shop around the corner (or via a freecycle group we have here in town) or throw away what's not worth anything. A few times a year my dad and his partner come over and help me. Everything I haven't used in let's say 2yrs: out of the house! (and I have 'the secret room', one room in the house, door closed, where I put everything I can't deal with now, so it's not bothering me or giving me stress, I'll clean it out one day when I'm better).
I had a very bad drs appointment last week (bad results), I was so tired but my head was spinning and spinning, I was angry and sad, didn't know what to do with myself. So I started cleaning out (I'm suffering for it now): 5 large bags for the container, got rid of an old closset (with the help of DH of course, I couldn't do all of it alone. He felt my mood and knew it was time to do something). I even painted 1 wall of the guestroom, the rest will follow whenever I'm up to it, was too tired to do more. But I'm proud of my newly painted wall. LOL
The I open up everything and let the wind go through my house for a while.
Or I plant some new flowers on my terrass.
Cleaning out your house is cleaning out your mind.

Revive, I understand your situation, I've been ill for 20yrs, am 'only' 35 now. Lost more than half of my life to it. Whenever it's starting to overwhelm me, I start meditating again. I focuss on me, choose to pamper myself, put aside whatever of whomever is taking too much of me. There is no other option than going through it. I try to think that at least I'm under treatment now, I know what's going on with me. This must be a start to getting better.

Thanks everyone!

Marie - I have a room with the door closed, too. Our supposed "spare room" - filled with crap.
When our son moved out last year, his room was supposed to be the 'guest room' - but now it's slowly, but surely being filled with the crap that won't fit in the "spare room". I'm disappointed in myself to let this happen.
I have seriously been thinking of going to church...but what's holding me back...is I'll probably break down and cry there...and totally embarrass myself. The church I would go to has members that I know, but it's the one I would choose. So...don't know yet if I can sit through it without getting emotional.

So, do you think if my house makes me sad, it's because I'm still just not well enough to feel happy? Eventually, when I'm better, I'll fill the house with laughter, and good memories to replace some of these horrible, dark days?

I guess time will tell.
My husband is willing to sell it if need be. He told me last night that if we need to travel to the US for medical reasons, he'll sell the house in a heartbeat - even if it means taking a chance that in the end we're broke and I may still not be well. Because, as he said, "I'm nothing without you." What a sweetie. I also need to get well for his sake. He's suffering healthwise, too because he's worried and not sleeping well.
Sorry - I'm rambling now. i just woke up and am feeling down this morning.