Good friend said I was hypochondriac.

Not exactly those words, but used word, "hypochondriac."

I had just started to trust her, which is why I was confiding in her about being ill.

She said that when a person talks that much about her illness, others might make the assumption you are a hypochondriac.

She also mentioned something about constantly running off to the doctor, when that is far from the truth, bc I avoid going to the doctor and the ER as much as possible. Sometimes you have to go to the doctor to save your own life.

Speaking of being dropped like a ball, which this person did not do (just used cutting words), my best friend B. has been distancing herself from me more and more. She is very active and athletic, so that doesn't help. She says she believes the whole thing about Lyme and co infections. When I tried to get her to talk, she said she had decided she wanted to spend more time with her husband. I know that she goes out and does things with other friends.

I seem to irritate her; she has felt frustrated by me, or something about me before, but we had good, close moments too. Now, she seems testy and irritated every time I see her.

I sound whiny. I guess it's time to be whiny, SORRY!

I guess I should try to be more positive; I'm just tired of feeling alone.

Margaret

Thanks so, Girlie!

That's really sweet.

Yes, it's the "active" thing!

People are very active, and when you don't fit in, there you have it!

Yes, that makes sense.

Margaret

Which friend? The first or the second?

Yes, maybe they will both need me some day, who knows?

Margaret

I have lost 99% ofmy friends and significaant other. I think it is hard for people to feel comfortable but I have also learned some just dont care enough to want to learn. Got to let go of them and focus on the few that are still trying ti be supportive. I know how hard it is to hear friend s say cutting words, its really hurts. We risk so much.

Lymepickle any chance he would watch Under Our Skin documentary? Horrible manto treat you like that but tjose with this illness are enlightened to the wide spreadignorance and jujudgemental ism that hoes with being ill with these bugs.

M,

Wow, really sorry to hear how these women are behaving. What can we expect, though?

If someone doesn't have this illness, there is no way they can even begin to understand it.

I understand the power of the words these people use to do harm. My own mother, 4 months ago when my pain was through the roof and all I could do was sit and cry, and I went to her home (she lives 1.5 miles away) for some much needed cash for meds, and then she lit up a cigarette. Now, I dont' care that people smoke. That's their business. I just can't be subjected to it as I can't breathe! I said to her, "Well, I'll be going, since you're going to smoke. I would love to stay, but I just can't breathe. I respect your choice, this is you home. I'll see you another time."

She looked straight into my eyes and remarked,"Well, if you can't breathe, you should be dead by now!"

Well, I sat in my car and wept some more, took her money back to her, and I apologized! Yep. That's what I was raised in. When my 1st husband fell off a roof back in 1986 and died, I had two kids under 18 months. I called my mom, who lived in Fl at the time, told her, and the first words out of her mouth were,
"Don't think you're gonna come live with us!"

So, I know first hand how painful and damages words can be, especially when we are already suffering!!

That is why I embrace the reality of those people who leave me, that they are helping me to be better off without them. That's why I am now understanding what I need, what I WILL accept from others, and what I will ALLOW in my life. I'd rather have slim pickings with one or two people, or even none at all, as long as I have ME, loving ME, then I can conquer EVERYTHING.

Take heart, M, there are people who are safe, who can offer right support, who are AUTHENTIC.
Praying that you are blessed with those that will see YOU and appreciate the YOU that you are NOW.
You deserve it.