Anyone else afraid to talk about any improvements cause it'll jinx it?

I had something I hadn't had in a long time --a good week. I was far from feeling completely normal, but it was the best I had felt in a while. I wasn't completely symptom free, but it was manageable and didn't disrupt my day too bad. It just felt good. It's been such a long time since I felt that way I really didn't recognize it as I was experiencing it. It's always different for many people, but I can tell I'm feeling a little better when I get an urge to clean. It's amazing the type of things you ignore or just don't care about when you're unwell. The house and my room in particular look like a several Tasmanian devils came through, threw a party and just for fun decided to trash the place. The same goes for my appearance, I'm usually in sweats and I haven't had a hair cut in such a long time, I look like Raggedy Ann's darker sister.

Anyways, I was having a good week and then a couple of people asked me about my improvements. These aren't my friends and family who ask me how I'm feeling today, these are the very kind and generous people who are familiar with Lyme and are helping me fight and deal with it. Now anytime I felt any improvement, no matter how small or minute, something in me would get excited and think maybe this is it. Maybe it's all uphill from here. But then I would feel terrible again, or the symptom would return, or another would take it's place and I would feel dejected. So I decided not to even consider the thought of "turning the corner" or talk about any improvements because I was only setting myself up for disappointment. I know this happens with everyday things all time. You talk about something and you jinx it. This time I wanted to avoid that for as long as I could but the universe had other plans for me.

First, my acupuncturist asked if I had felt like I had turned the corner yet. I explained my feelings and told him that anytime I talk improving I end up two steps back from where I was. So I tried to talk about things that were still bothering me instead of improvements. Later that day, I went to see an upper cervical chiropractor for an adjustment.

* Side note: Thanks so much Girlie for recommending a different chiropractor. It was such a different experience without all the cracking, and pressing and pulling. He barely touched me and I heard a small click that I thought came from his hand but he explained it was from my own neck. I didn't feel sore but I did feel a difference. I'm actually looking forward to my next visit. If anyone hates having their neck cracked, I definitely recommend an upper cervical chiropractor.

But I digress. It was my first visit with this new chiropractor and everything went well. The visit lasted about an hour and a half, we discussed many things including my Lyme. I felt pretty good for the rest of the evening. Then the next day I saw 'A', a nurse practitioner who works with my LLMD and helps patients deal with their issues through diet, supplements, vitamins and general lifestyle. She's very familiar with Lyme and has helped me with my diet and vitamins so I know I'm getting the proper amounts of what I need. I know it's routine and she has to ask, but she questioned me about my improvements and while I was hesitant I gave her as much information as I could remember. We went over what happened during out last visit and it's funny the things you forget you were going through just a few weeks ago compared to today. We went over all my old and new symptoms, improvements, diet, new vitamins to try, etc. Afterwards, I ran a few errands, came home, made lunch and tried to relax. Then I started to feel awful again. It started with my stomach, then I had a headache, my neck, shoulders and back were achy. I drank some alka seltzer gold tablets for my stomach and in case it was a herx and it helped for a short period. Last night my stomach was feeling bad enough that I had to get someone to make me a green smoothie since I wasn't able to eat anything else.

I know that this Lyme, or in my case anaplasma, is a roller-coaster ride and anytime you think you're ready to get off it pulls you right back into the front seat. It's disheartening at times and I feel like my tolerance for some symptoms is getting worse. I am ready to get off this ride but burn it to the ground.

No, not really. There is some sarsaparilla in the herbal pills I take. It's the Green Dragon Botanicals Buhner core protocol herbs. I don't normally herx after an acupuncture treatment, I'm usually quite relaxed afterwards. You think I should step up on them?