So frustrating

Sorry but I need to vent. I have been riding the lyme roller coaster for nearly 2 years. I graduated college and shortly after began getting symptomatic. The symptoms hit pretty hard and fast, and within a few months I was and still am unable to work.

I was looking for a job to start my career and finally start my life, then I came down with this stuff. It's frustrating because when I start feeling better, I start feeling hopeful that this will be the time I can finally get over the hump. I start getting excited about getting my first real job and making my own money for once. I'm so thankful for my parents but I'm sick of leeching off of them.

I want to have my own money and have the typical mid 20's life but I can't. My friends are a couple years into their careers, already getting promotions and raises, and I have a huge gaping hole in my resume. I'm so frustrated by all of this. I'd honestly rather have cancer, at least it either kills you or goes into remission and there is none of this stuff where you're just in limbo, unsure of when you'll crash again.

Sorry for the rant.

I'm so sorry that you are so frustrated with life. It's certainly understandable. But, if you are still "riding a roller coaster" after 2 years, isn't it time to change something? Find things to help your healing that you can add in or change protocols would be more than appropriate at this point.

And you might not want to use cancer as your "I'd rather have" - they too have stages of limbo and uncertainty of when they will crash again. It's just a bit "more acceptable" to have cancer, rather than Lyme, which is a political issue at this point.

And don't forget that you are very lucky to have your parents there, supporting you like this (not just monetarily) - I and likely many others didn't have that. I grew up with these infections and was blamed for always claiming to be sick - the problem was I really was sick! It often helps to "count our blessings" and to concentrate on the positive in our life to help us get through the bad times.

Hang in there!!!