suicidal

Hi everyone i almos wanted to end it all today i switched from ceftin 1000mgs to doxy 400mgs and plaquenil 2times per day woke up with my teeth chattering together and walking around depressed and crying all day what is wrong with me?i am starting to think i do not have bartonella henslea but by md labs i was igG positive with elisa test but igm.negetive for elisa and mycoplasma positive igG and igm i called my drs assistant earlier and she said to lower the doxy but i was still suicidal so i took it upon myself and went back.on ceftin and feel calmer i am going to call her in the morning and tell her i am not suicidal on the ceftin i can function and maybe she can add to the ceftin i have been on the ceftin since october 2014 and it def helps my anxiety , i just dont know anymore and really dont want to be here anymore i think my dr will just think i am crazy and a pain in the ass dont know what to do?

Absolutely do not ignore these warning signs!!! You are in a horrible state of mind during a temporary health crisis!! Please, please do not do something that will be so permanent. This will pass.

I've dealt with depression and suicidal thoughts myself - and honestly - I tried it twice before I realized that I was only going to hurt those that cared about me more if I did something like that.

This is a part of these infections, believe it or not. Can you call your doc tonight and ask for some antidepressants? You will only need the short term, but it will help a whole bunch with these feelings.

If you need to, reach out to one of these resources below - or you can email me for a while tonight. I'll be happy to talk with you for a bit.

And don't feel bad for posting - that's why we are here!!! Remember, this is temporary!!!

Big hugs to you!!
((((((((((HUGS))))))))))

U.S. Helplines

National Suicide Hotline

1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)

This is a combined network of the Amerian Association of Suicidology, the National Hopeline Network, CONTACT USA, and many other organizations. Call are automatically routed to the nearest crisis center to the phone from which the call for help is placed.


NDMDA Depression Hotline | Support Group. 800-826-3632

Suicide Prevention Services Crisis Hotline 800-784-2433

Suicide Prevention Services Depression Hotline 630-482-9696

AAA Crisis Pregnancy Center 800-560-0717

Child Abuse Hotline | Support & Information 800-792-5200

Crisis Help Line | For Any Kind of Crisis 800-233-4357

Domestic & Teen Dating Violence | English & Spanish 800-992-2600

Parental Stress Hotline | Help for Parents 800-632-8188

Runaway Hotline | All Calls are Confidential 800-231-6946

Sexual Assault Hotline | Up 24/7 - In English & Spanish 800-223-5001

Suicide & Depression Hotline | Covenant House 800-999-9999


Or go online for help:

------Online Hotline Resources--------

www.crisischat.org/chat/

www.befrienders.org/

/www.imalive.org/

www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/


There's even a suicide prevention with texting!!!
Need Help? Text “CTL” to 741741.

CTL (Crisis Text Line) helps individuals in crisis by connecting them with a compassionate, trained listener through a toll-free texting service. CTL is available nationwide and 24/7
www.crisistextline.org/ for more information about this option.

Okay, I have to admit, I only read the first part of your post, and then I panicked! LOL! You've already come to realize what was making you feel this way and have changed things, so who cares what your doc thinks of it? If they don't believe you, you need to change doctors anyway. Insist that you won't use Doxy again and tell your doc that she'll have to just work without it.

and I'm soooo glad that you were completely open and honest this time!! You should be that way on here all the time though. We can better help you if we know what's really going on and how bad it really is for you.

Please feel free to email me any time!!! Even if you just need to talk.

Hi Catchscooter,

I'm an old timer who became well and when I was sick I went through times where I also had those suicidal thoughts and they do pass! I'm glad you found out that doxy was making you feel bad. If need be, please do change doctors as Traveler said. Remember, the doctor is the "customer" as you are paying for the service. I know some people can't change doctors easily as many are a far drive as well as not being easy to find.

Please post more often what you are feeling because not only are you helping yourself, you are the voice of many others who are afraid to post their true inner feelings not to mention you are NOT bringing anyone down... I know when I was feeling bad and living in darkness I was afraid to tell people.

Hang in there okay? We are HERE for YOU!!!

Hugs always,
Denise

I never thought I would take drugs for my mental health, but I've found that xanax (as needed) has been VERY helpful for me. I only use it when I'm at the lowest of lows, probably at the place you are at right now. It really takes the edge off in those situations. Ask your doctor for a little script, and keep your head up.

Hey catchscooter,

Yes, that's really scary when your heart is racing like that.

Please post more often and get some attention!! The more you post the more we can be there for you okay? Not only that we can give you some advice that maybe you don't know in order for you to feel better and get back the being the girl you used to know...

For a long time I had felt I had "lost myself" from being sick. I forgot who I used to be and it took a long time for me to find myself again...

I look forward to hearing from you again and if you want please do e-mail me!!

Denise

Whining? Who's whining? You were reaching out like you should have done!!! And you are strong, or you wouldn't be fighting these like you are!!

I used to tell myself all the time while I was in treatment, Lyme isn't for wimps!!! and neither is the treatment of it. It will rock your world, and not in a good way!!

Please, please keep reaching out to any and all of us here!! That's why many of us are here! Deejavu and I are healed and just keep coming back (okay, I may be addicted at this point) to keep helping out because we remember what it's like and want to help others through it all.

💗 hang in there, catchscooter.

Some of the antibiotics can give you suicidal thoughts for sure. The depression with some of the antibiotics is simply horrid (for me it was tinidazole in particular).

Benzo withdrawal can cause suicidal thoughts too (especially if you're tapering too fast).

It does get better.

Thank you everyone for the kind words i really neede that you guys are awesome sorru from philly we say you guys lol chappelle can u please share with me what you have used for bartonella i am only on ceftin tried doxy plaquenil suicidal thoughts dont know which one caused it can u please tell me what worked for you .thankyou

Anyone, and I do mean, anyone that is really struggling with this, needs to email or call someone to help them through the rough spots.

Always, always feel free to reach out to me!! Even when I sign off for the night from here, I'm checking my emails, and believe me, if I see that someone needs help immediately, I really can't help but reach out.

Never think that you are alone in these feelings - so many have gone through it, as well as myself - but we have to remember that suicide is a permanent fix for a temporary situation.

Please reach out to someone when you are struggling. Please.

Thankyou everyone i am thinking antibiotics are not for me i think i want to do the cowden protocol is that the best one for bart and mycoplasma?any thoughts def going to do herbal just dont know which one yet

Check out Buhner. A lot of people have had success with it. There many others like you mentioned Cowden and Zhang..... You just have to find the oane that your body will respond to.