Memory Lapse? and Depression :(

I cannot tell what it is that I am so upset about; I guess just a conglomeration of everything... I am sitting here in this hotel room and I am hating everything. I am hating my job because I am so tired and I am hating my house because I cannot take care of like I should.

I am mad at me because I have this stray cat that adopted me 7 years ago and I am not giving her the attention I used to. I still feed her twice a day but I am now having to remind myself to sit with her instead of going to bed. I am angry at Angelo for leaving at a time when I need him so much.

I am frustrated that my dad does not call as much as he used to. People at work treat me differently. Money is of course so much tighter. I imagine my story is nothing new here. I am probably going through a "normal" depressive state. I have been in counseling of some sort since I was 12 so I am so self observant it stinks sometimes. I wish I could just be obliviously sad and depressed sometimes. Oh well.

The memory thing... I woke up one morning and for whatever reason wondered what I had eaten for dinner. I did not remember...figured I would be hungry once I got over all of the antibiotics and supplements I was about to swallow...😈

Anywho...when I went onto the kitchen there it was...as I should have known was the tray of crawfish shells and edamame that I had eaten. I swear on my life I had had nothing to drink! lol

That is just one example of quite a few times that that is happening lately. I know enough to know that I don't have any moment that I feel out of it. but I'm having moments where I find I don't remember like that happening but I see an end result. Oh my gosh; this makes me feel nuts!

Also, remember to give yourself a huge pat on the back. This is very hard. You're a lot stronger than you realize even though it might not feel like it!