GOOD, BAD & UGLY: How lyme did change you?

Good: I quit smoking and drinking. This is about the only positive

Bad: EVERYTHING associate w Lyme.

Ugly: see above

Good: I learned to really miss the little things in life. They meant a lot to me(wont go into detail) but now even more so, they are everything to me.

Bad: I spend so much time studying, learning, that I forget to live life. My mother had a stroke, and though shes physically fine, she has shport term memory issues, and I cant get to see her near as much as I want to. My father moved 4 hrs away. We spent so much time together. I used to go to his new home once a month. Since I got sick, ive been there 4 times in over 2 yrs. He comes see me, but its not the same. We used to run those mountains like a couple of 12 yr olds. At 67, I dont know how much time I have with him, and at 46 and sick, hes not sure how much time he has with me. It hurts my heart just thinking about it. My sister and nephew, they see me as much as before, but its different. We cant enjoy our time as much as before.

Ugly: I file bankruptcy. Im on FMLA intermittently. I work, but still cant keep up. My pride doesnt let anyone help most times. This ruined my life, im not letting it financially hit anyone else. Its rough to say the least.

But, im still here. Im fighting. I move forward 3 steps, take 2 back. Ive called on the Lord more than I ever have in my life. And im happy with the relationship ive built with Him. This mans still and always will be a sinner. But a sinner with the greatest friend in the world by his side.

Postive: I became open to learn from what the illness had to teach me, and realized, I was not taking good care of the sacred vessel I live in. I began to TOTALLY re-prioritize my life. I discovered this community. It has totally re-worked my perception of my body. I don't eat and drink to look better. I eat and drink for my health. People's true colors come out when one is super ill. I know now where my support is.

Negative: Suffering is not fun. I feel as if I've suffered a lot through this journey. Facing some Dr.'s has been humiliating. I've suffered under their care.

Ugly: The despair about this illness that comes and goes, EVEN with progress. I still have days where I am so frustrated I do really DUMB things. Like the last few days. I was doing great on the GAPS diet and then just became so frustrated by a recent pain flare, some symptoms coming back, I decided I was just going to eat whatever. DUMB! Someone brought in homemade coffee cake. INSTANT splitting headache.

Fun: I think it was a very funny moment when I decided to pour myself a cocktail with the leftover vodka from making herbs and add cranberry juice to it. Stupid moment, but the image of this, is now humorous. I've never been a cocktail drinker in life.

Great post Artemix!

Good: I think having Lyme and being forced to learn about it made me connect all the dots to my son's various ailments as one. Pretty sure he has Lyme. So if I had to get it to help him. I accept that. I also have become more selfish. I do everything for everyone and now I say "I'm going inside to read or talk with my 'invisible' friends and my husband and son get dinner. Also good is meeting all of you angels.

Bad: Ugh. I want to stay positive but for me not being able to exercise is the worst. Feeling like this is not fair. I went through lots of trauma as a child and picked myself up. I had lots of loss and kept going, I lost my younger brother tragically last year and it almost broke me, but I soldiered on. Last week of June I said to my husband "I'm finally feeling normal again." One week later Lyme. I feel like a bad wife, bad mother, on my worst days I think my husband will leave me for someone healthy, vibrant and fun - like I used to be. My mind is worse than my body.

Ugly: My untoned body. The tired look under my eyes. The boredom of eating the same non exciting foods every single day. The inability to do more that several things a day. The lack of any social life.

Fun: I missed the memo on anything fun connected to Lyme. The most fun is talking with you guys who get it. I have learned to sit and relax and have watched a lot of movies. Got a hoot out of multiface drinking the leftover alcohol from her herbs.

awe Huddie.....we got to make it more fun...everyone is so serious here. Love your post and agree with you 100%

bluelyme the ugly of yours is a deep, very deep... description and would make a great script of a sci-fi movie.....hmmm. Basically you are correct.

Interesting post Artermix!

Good: I look at life differently now. I value things I never used to value, and I am less judgmental and understanding of other peoples situations. I learned a lot about diseases, heck if I wasn't so bad at math and science I feel like I should have gone to Med school. If I had the intelligence level I would have loved to do something like that. I enjoy learning about Health, and I do find a lot things about Diseases interesting. Although I hate having one.

Bad: My physical body. I'm very disappointed in it, I just don't have the energy or strength to do things I used to do and love. I feel held back by this illness and I hate being in pain. It have brought a lot of stress to my personal life too, and financially just terrible. Also just feeling like I am not accomplishing things I want to accomplish. But that is life, it isn't always what we expected to happen.

Ugly: Lyme rage? I have a short fuse. Mostly because this disease is so frustrating. I try not to let it out on my loved ones but sometimes I will have my own meltdowns.