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Vent please- I hate my job

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Posted 4/3/2017 3:18 PM (GMT 0)
Sorry I just want to vent. I hate my job and everyday is a struggle to get up and go to work. I never feel good anyway, so its hard to get up when not feeling good and go into something I don't want to do. I am on rotation as well and literally have NO work. They know, I have asked for work, so on top of it, I think I am so bored that I notice my symptoms more and focus on them, so I feel even worse.

Today I woke up and felt ok, but because I just didn't want to go I convinced myself I was leaving at lunch. Now its lunchtime and I want to leave. There really is no reason to go home, I feel pretty ok compared to other days. I am sitting here bored, and noticing now my neck is hurting more and I am dizzy. I did a ton yesterday and just feel like I need to rest.

I feel guilty that I always want to rest. My boyfriend tries to understand and he is sympathetic, but I feel guilty that I feel this way. I am not doing anything (I finally do have something lined up but I have no idea how to do it and the guy that has to show me has been in meetings all morning) so what does it matter if I leave early today to just rest for the afternoon??? I know people at work wonder about because I am always leaving/coming in late.

Anywho- just venting.. thanks!
Posted 4/3/2017 3:23 PM (GMT 0)
I learned a long time ago that many people want a career. I certainly did. Well a career is a career for about 2 years and then it is work.

They don't call it work for nothing. It is definitely not pleasure or fun.

Glad you can vent here. I think we all have vented about something here. And it feels good to get it out here and not on your boss. LOL!

Now is the time to clean up those files, dust your desk and rearrange it. I always saved some work in my "to do later" pile and when the boss was gone - I cleaned like crazy. This kept me from going stir crazy.

Hang in there cindy.
Posted 4/3/2017 3:27 PM (GMT 0)
I am on rotation- so I am temporarily at a position that has nothing to do with my job to learn something else. I am here for another month. I am at a temp desk and have none of my stuff except computer and a notebook. This place is ignoring me, acting like I don't exist, giving me no work- I have heard rotations go like this, so it was expected, but its stupid and a waste of my time. I def focus on feeling worse.

I guess, I just feel like its pointless to be here when I feel bad and could be at home feeling better? but also, I guess if I said that everyday, I wouldn't be here ever.. sad
Posted 4/3/2017 3:32 PM (GMT 0)
If you're doing nothing but babysitting a desk and it won't compromise your job, go home and rest.

Sounds to me like your body wants to, after all it IS working hard trying to heal these infections out of you. Unless you're going to end up feeling guilty going home. The idea is to minimize stress, and that includes mental.

How much more time on this rotation do you have?
Posted 4/3/2017 3:44 PM (GMT 0)
I would go crazy just sitting there with nothing to do. I would bring stuff to keep me occupied.

I don't blame you for wanting to go home. Especially since you don't feel good today.
Posted 4/3/2017 3:46 PM (GMT 0)
Lol it's amazing how some of us would love to get out of the house and do something productive and some of us would do anything to stay home😊

I've been on both sides of that fence.

I think I'll go out and try to pick up sticks in the yard.

Remember, your mental health is an important part of your healing. Do what is best for you!

Hugs of encouragement coming your way.
Posted 4/3/2017 3:51 PM (GMT 0)
I have a month left. I have Dr. Horowitz new book with me, But reading only entertains me for so long. Thanks everyone.
Posted 4/3/2017 4:23 PM (GMT 0)
Well then, I think it's time to talk to a supervisor or office manager and see about getting some share of the work load.

Someone eventually is going to notice you not working and still on the payroll and might complain. That happened to me many years ago when I worked for a newspaper. We would gather in the breakroom and play Spades after the paper had been sent to print.

I asked the person firing me what I was supposed to do when there wasn't anything else to type and he said I should have been asking co-workers if they needed help.

I didn't get a second chance.
Posted 4/3/2017 4:53 PM (GMT 0)
think about it as a break? I do know exactly what you are talking about, back in the day I'd leave work early etc. couldn't stand being misserable in the office.

Now, I work from home, but I'm in the opposite situation, I have too much work and I can't handle it, I frequently need to rest and my fog makes be very unproductive, and I fall behind getting stressed.

I'm seriously looking into going STD+LTD on this, because no matter what I've done, lyme is most certainly keeping me from doing my work. the only other option to STD is either working fewer hours (lower pay), or another job altogether that is light duty (again, lower pay).
Posted 4/3/2017 5:03 PM (GMT 0)
I sympathize. I took a job for the insurance and retirement a few years back. The only reason they had the job opening was that the only lady in payroll was hospitalized and realized they didn't have anyone to fill her spot if something happened. So we now share the work load which still isn't enough work for one person, let along two. Makes for a very long day. But since I got sick, I'm grateful to be able to have a job were not much is expected. Plus, it gives me plenty of time to research, and try to learn as much as I can about this terrible disease.
Posted 4/4/2017 12:14 PM (GMT 0)
True. I have been researching like crazy, but it all gets confusing and I wonder if I am going in the right direction. thanks all. I think a new herbal I am on is making it worse right now. Over the weekend I had stomach bug like symptoms (nausea/diarrhea), yesterday I had it, this morning I woke up feeling like it. Not sure if my gut flora is off or what.
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