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Update on my mom-thoughts?

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Posted 7/19/2017 2:30 PM (GMT 0)
So my mom is taking a week off from the antibiotics this week to let her body recover a little bit. Next week she will go to 3 days/week instead of the 5 that she was at. Her talking seems to be getting worse, which is scary. She has been coughing a lot the last couple of days so the nursing home ordered a chest X ray.

She does have some fluid on her lungs, but not enough to be concerned as far an pneumonia goes. They want to put her on morphine and a high dose of anxiety medicine. This makes no sense to me. For one, my mom has to be careful what pain meds she takes because some can suppress breathing, morphine being one. For two, how is morphine going to help her breathing??

It almost seems like they are just saying screw it and are trying to make her comfortable, but my mom has not asked for that yet. Idk what to do anymore. We see no changes other than maybe her getting worse. I did ask them to do another Lyme test just because I am interested to see what it would say at this point. Blah. When does life stop sucking? sad

-Kari
Posted 7/19/2017 2:51 PM (GMT 0)
'Morning Kari. I'm sorry to hear all this.

Does your mom have edema and swelling anywhere? She sounds like me a little and I have congestive heart failure. There are specific medications for that, to help pull excess fluid out of tissues.

You're correct that morphine and other pain meds suppress breathing, I personally have to be careful with that at night. I take oxycodone in small mg. doses.

I agree with you on your assessment of their care of your Mom.

This nursing home has sounded iffy from the get go. I wish you had more options for your Mom's care.

I'm sorry I don't have some answers for you that are practical.
Posted 7/19/2017 3:28 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Kari -

I'm also just so sorry to hear the continued struggles.

I think jm made good points. Please, if YOU want a Lyme test, demand it. If YOU are questioning the morphine, demand that they explain everything to you and do not allow administration of anything until you are satisfied with their reasons. If there are tests they are not running or issues they are not resolving, demand solutions. You are in charge. Now is not the time to be "agreeable" with the medical staff.

The fluid on the lungs could also just be from lying in a hospital bed for so long.

Can you seek second opinions under her health care coverage? Can you get a specialist in to review her case? Can you do it regardless of her coverage?

Sorry - just looking for some ideas.

-p
Posted 7/19/2017 4:32 PM (GMT 0)
My mom has been having a lot of swelling in her knuckles lately along with her hands and sometimes her feet turning blue, very strange.

My dad is there with her now, me and my sister are both working, but we did advise him to question the morphine because it doesn't make any sense. My mom has talked to all of us about maybe "giving up" which would include them giving her morphine to make her comfortable, but she has not made that final decision yet.

Just seems like nothing can go right and we are getting nowhere. Which gives her all the more reason to stop fighting. This whole thing sucks sad

-Kari
Posted 7/19/2017 4:57 PM (GMT 0)
It does suck. I'm so sorry.

I might have missed a few conversations here - but have you talked with her about what she wants? Does she know what her options are? That can be a scary conversation right now but it might give you all information to work with.

-p
Posted 7/19/2017 5:08 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Kari, hugs of support for you and your momma. She is lucky to have you!
Posted 7/19/2017 5:09 PM (GMT 0)

Pirouette said...
It does suck. I'm so sorry.

I might have missed a few conversations here - but have you talked with her about what she wants? Does she know what her options are? That can be a scary conversation right now but it might give you all information to work with.

-p

Her mom said a few weeks ago that if she doesn't have improvement by Aug1 - she wants to give up the fight.

www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=30&m=3874818&g=3875047#m3875047
Posted 7/19/2017 5:11 PM (GMT 0)
Kari - I hope with the week off your moms symptoms abate somewhat and with the pulsed dosing it is more manageable.
Posted 7/20/2017 12:24 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks everyone for the kind words - I did find out yesterday when I went to the nursing home that they were wanting to give my mom morphine because while it can suppress breathing, it can also relax it too. Idk how that will help get the fluid off though. She said she doesn't care if she gets pneumonia at this point....that's where her mind set is at. Sucks sad
Posted 7/20/2017 3:16 PM (GMT 0)
Kari,
wait to see how the different schedule works with her, I hope in some improvements.The problem is everything is so very, very slow. . .and then have the talk that Pirouette suggested.But maybe she is also herxing, not detoxing enough and that gives you for sure a different, gloomy mood.you have to take that into account, too.
Can you tell us what the LLMD says?
Posted 7/20/2017 4:01 PM (GMT 0)
Kari this is horrible. It is the worse thing in the world watching someone you love hurt like this. It makes you feel inadequate. I know this feeling.

You are not inadequate!! You are helping in every step of the way. Nothing you do is without value to your Mom now.

Make sure you look her in the eye and say "Mom, please don't stop trying." Sometimes you have to make the patient fight. I sure hope this works.

I don't know the answers for her. I think I would print everything I could on every one of her symptoms as it relates to lyme and give those to the doctor. Just tell him that you are so afraid something might be overlooked. This might spur him into doing more research. Please say to the doctor how important your Mom is to you and your family. Sometimes doctors forget that these are people that are deeply loved. They only think of them as patients, not loved ones.

I hope this helps. And hugs of comfort to you. It breaks my heart to know how this is hurting you so.
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