Stuck

Don't know what to say or where to begin or what to do. I apologize for the repeat on not following through with prior advise. I will and want to get better. I am just so stuck.

I am at a place of being overwhelmed to the point where I'm doing nothing to get better.

It's been over a year since I've really treated. I tried couple months ago but lost the effort due to being overwhelmed.

I want to treat with herbs. I have the herbs. I was thinking I needed my partner on board to help with kids because I'll probably get worse. ( herx) Well that didn't pan out. He's gone.

I thought maybe I needed to try to find out if I have a coinfection. I tried Abab. ( 2 wks) no reaction. Then ABart(2 days) I think I had a reaction but not sure ( worse of same symptoms) want to try again. But afraid.

I have had my current main symptom of morning anxiety for over a year. I can't do it any more. I tried holy basil again recently ( it helped before) and I got chest pains. It could have caused heartburn or heart muscle type cramping when I woke up. I dont know. But it happened several times. I read through reviews on amazon and that happened to a couple others. It never happen to me before. I loved that herb as it helped me in the past immensely. So I'd like to try it again but am afraid.

Beginig to question if anxiety and depression as main symptoms are from the infections although I know they are.

Other current symptoms: also feel a shortness of breath and my back neck and spine are painfully out of alingment daily and muscle pains that coordinate. Occasional twitches ( which used to be overwhelming . Also the boughts of nausea and proprioception issues that come and go.

I've had the gamut of symptoms throughout the last ten-15 years. I def have Lyme. Em Rash etc. but three years ago the anx dep brain fog symptoms kicked in.

I am just getting over whooping cough with kids. I had "it" also but didn't cough much... I cared for them for weeks and am now exhausted myself.

I tried testing cortisol for three weeks or so but wasn't happy with my sample to the point of retaking for weeks. ( trying to get it perfect) .
Then I eventually thought, well if it shows up as not regular then I would try adaptagens. So I just stopped trying and did the holy basil a couple days and got the heart pains. Made the coorelation and stopped trying.

I read here and am overwhelmed with the number of supps and treatments to track and research and questions about the gene tests and mold( which I had a pos orchratoxin urine test through my natro.

I don't call my natro anymore because I have no new info. And ma not taking the charcoal because I'm not taking anything.

I don't know enough to follow through on a lot of supps. Nac for instance. Or do I have certain genes... it's all too much . With how I feel, with the kids, with my life situation. I'm feeling pretty hopeless. But I want to get better. How. I am a shell of my former self. And I've let it go on too long. This depression and anxiety. I have one friend who wants to help. They suggest meds. I'd like to get rid of the source.

i don't know what to do to get myself u stuck.
I can't explain it. I wake up and am depressed form the moment I wake up. It's about how I feel physically more than my circumstances which are depressing but not as much as the way I feel. I was thinking about trying the lithium oratate or theanine or something else.
But it's just too much. I need to pull through for my amazing kids. I wish there was a way out.

I also consider setting up apt with LLMD and going on ABX. I would do this if it would take away the neuro stuff. I just don't see anybody saying that helped them.

Sorry this is long. Im in a deep pit.

Post Edited (Lightlife) : 3/10/2020 7:47:38 AM (GMT-6)

Thankyou so very much for not giving up on me. I can't express how grateful I am.

I will try to make another plan. On paper. Using this thread as motivation.

I just took..
3 caps lb core( andro, cats claw,
knotweed) this is a low starting dose.
A multi
B12
D
Dha
Chinese skullcap
Chinese cats claw

I will take one holy basil now and one tonight. If I get the burning chest I will know it's the herb.

I will take eluthero and ashwaganda now also.

I have a feeling I might get brain fog once I amp up the Lyme core.

I did this all a couple months ago and it didn't touch the am anxiety but it's a start.

Thankyou. I know this seems like a weak post but I am so stuck in a rut that I need this help. It's like the gravel. Starting over.

Ps. Does anyone reccomend ABX for eliminating the anxiety and dep.
Im thinking I should aim for full bruhner with coinfections?but if ABX will knock out this anx / dep ...
Never tried the parasite route.

Lightlife - so sorry for your suffering.
I had the morning anxiety coupled with depression for many months.
It was horrible. I cried every single morning.

Treating the infections (antibiotics) has worked for me. Those symptoms are 95% better now.

I think you should work with a LLMD or LLND...

Lightlife - did you ever treat Bartonella? The anxiety, depression, muscle spasms all sound like Bart.

If you can afford it then definitely see a LLMD, because if you’re overwhelmed they will just put you on a treatment plan and you just follow it. You can ask them about prescribing LDN (low-dose Naltrexone). It has helped me immensely with depression, I’m on 1.5mg.