Help!!!!!!! Feel like I am loosing it!!

Anybody up that can talk to me?I am in anxiety and depression hell .

Hi Girlie.No I have not been to sleep.I am sorry for posting on here like this but I am do afraid for my mental health right now.I have my husband and my 7 year old petrified.Everytime I think I have control I start back thinking bad and I spiral.I am embarassed about my mental state because I was always so strong.My husband just left for work and he has not had any sleep.Physically I am okay but mentally no.How do you all handle this?

Girlie said...
Just saw this now.

I hope this has passed and you are able to sleep!

Familymatters can you describe a bit more about your anxiety and depression?

What exactly are you feeling? What are the anxious thoughts?

Sometimes writing it out in detail will help you feel better.

You might also want to ask your GP for a benzodiazepine to calm down (xanax, klonopin etc.)

Take them with caution though. And only temporarily of course.

Also, try to look up one of the "breathing exercise" videos on YouTube. It might help you.

Good luck friend.

Wish I had seen this earlier. I'm so sorry you felt alone and unmoored last night, and perhaps still. I know it's very hard on your family, but please focus on yourself for the moment, and on what is going on right now. Sounds like a lot of spiraling is going on (catastrophizing, worst case scenarios, intrusive thoughts, obsessive thoughts, etc.) which I know can be an absolute horror to deal with. A lot of us drift in and out of that state of mind and even get stuck there sometimes.

I like Rainy's suggestion of a benzo to take as a "rescue" med temporarily, since a person's mental state can cause symptoms all by itself, and you don't need any more stress on your body. I'd also suggest a cannabis product, a strain designed for calming the symptoms you are experiencing. Unlike a benzo, cannabis has the added benefits of modulating the immune system, reducing inflammation, and not producing biochemical dependence in the same way. (It's real medicine. Ignore the stigma and ignorance, if they are holding you back.) Dispensary employees tend to be knowledgeable, but you also can get a lot of good information about strains for your particular needs at leafly.com.

I think that more antimicrobial treatment might be a mistake for you right now. It sounds like your body is overloaded and that the major psych symptoms are part of a herx from disulfiram and other things. Obviously I could be wrong, but that's my instinct.

If you have the patience for it today, perhaps try some guided visualizations. I really like the headaches and fibromyalgia ones here: https://healthy.kaiserpermanente.org/health-wellness/podcasts/conditions-diseases

There is one for anxiety here: https://healthy.kaiserpermanente.org/health-wellness/podcasts/emotional-wellness

Try tapping, and really give it a chance. A wellness blogger with Lyme posted a great video about it once (which I can't find right now) that specified saying the standard affirmation ("Even though ... I know that....") at the beginning and end but using the middle to voice all the other anxious thoughts that come up, the idea being that in the tapping process those feelings can be brought up and moved to different parts of the brain, where they can be dealt with and released. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPqGjcxoPS8&feature=emb_logo

Ditto for essential oils, as they act on the brain immediately when smelled. Lavender, orange, and Melissa come to mind as great ones for anxiety. Frankincense and rose geranium are my go-to EOs for pain and neuro stuff.

Grounding exercises can be really helpful. My favorite is really paying attention and noticing five things I can see, four things I can feel, three things I can hear, two things I can smell, and one thing I can taste. Another is counting colors (4 red things, 4 orange things, 4 yellow, etc.) or alphabet games (someone I know with a name beginning with each letter, animals, jobs I might like, foods, etc.).

Physical grounding exercises can be helpful as well, including lightly scratching your skin, holding an ice cube against your skin, and feeling the weight of your body against the bed/chair/floor. Also rebounding - like with a swing, porch swing, or trampoline. And earthing - going outside with your feet on the ground. And possibly some negative ions if you can find them, like in a pine forest, ocean beach, or waterfall.

Check out some acupressure points. I find these helpful when I want to feel like I have the power to do something about how I feel but lack the patience for some of the more attention-intensive tasks. https://www.modernreflexology.com/acupressure-to-relieve-anxiety-palpitations-and-nervousness/

You know by now that I'm a big fan of DNRS, so allow me to say yet again, maybe try DNRS. ;)

Breath work is a powerful, fast way to tell your nervous system what you need it to know - namely that you are safe, there is no emergency, and it can chill. 4-7-8 breaths, box breathing, nadi shodhana (alternate nostril breathing), and lots of other options exist. All are good.

Yoga aligns your body in ways that send your brain and nervous system messages as well. Try: https://www.youtube.com/user/yogawithadriene/search?query=anxiety

Which supplements is your LLMD recommending? Perhaps some of them would be helpful for detox, nervous system, etc. Nearly everything can be found in liquid form, so you can take it more easily when you have no appetite. I agree that it's imperative to get you to a more functional baseline before overloading your system.

Can I ask what you are taking right now? I feel how you describe feeling after I take just one drop of holy basil, whereas it chills other people out beautifully. My point is that you never know what might be throwing you off-balance. So if you are taking adaptogens or other supplements that can affect the adrenal system, nervous system, or gut flora, then it might be best to stop everything for a while.

Focus on hydration and electrolytes. Try Emergen-C packets or homemade electrolyte drinks (perhaps lemon juice, water, maple syrup, and sea salt). Smoothies with coconut oil and/or protein powder are good if you can manage those. Metagenics makes a "medical food" powder called Ultra-InflammeX that contains a lot of nutrients and curcumin, so you won't have to worry about nutrition. It's not cheap, but it might be worth it for peace of mind. https://www.metagenics.com/ultrainflamx-plus-360

You are not going to waste away; your body just wants a break.

Things WILL even out. This awful phase IS temporary. I have had days of doing literally nothing but lying there whispering to myself that tomorrow will be better than today. Eventually it was.

I just called my llmd and told her secretary that I will not be able to take all of those antibiotics and supplements and she said she would let her know.

saraeli said...
Wish I had seen this earlier. I'm so sorry you felt alone and unmoored last night, and perhaps still. I know it's very hard on your family, but please focus on yourself for the moment, and on what is going on right now. Sounds like a lot of spiraling is going on (catastrophizing, worst case scenarios, intrusive thoughts, obsessive thoughts, etc.) which I know can be an absolute horror to deal with. A lot of us drift in and out of that state of mind and even get stuck there sometimes.

I like Rainy's suggestion of a benzo to take as a "rescue" med temporarily, since a person's mental state can cause symptoms all by itself, and you don't need any more stress on your body. I'd also suggest a cannabis product, a strain designed for calming the symptoms you are experiencing. Unlike a benzo, cannabis has the added benefits of modulating the immune system, reducing inflammation, and not producing biochemical dependence in the same way. (It's real medicine. Ignore the stigma and ignorance, if they are holding you back.) Dispensary employees tend to be knowledgeable, but you also can get a lot of good information about strains for your particular needs at leafly.com.

I think that more antimicrobial treatment might be a mistake for you right now. It sounds like your body is overloaded and that the major psych symptoms are part of a herx from disulfiram and other things. Obviously I could be wrong, but that's my instinct.

If you have the patience for it today, perhaps try some guided visualizations. I really like the headaches and fibromyalgia ones here: https://healthy.kaiserpermanente.org/health-wellness/podcasts/conditions-diseases

There is one for anxiety here: https://healthy.kaiserpermanente.org/health-wellness/podcasts/emotional-wellness

Try tapping, and really give it a chance. A wellness blogger with Lyme posted a great video about it once (which I can't find right now) that specified saying the standard affirmation ("Even though ... I know that....") at the beginning and end but using the middle to voice all the other anxious thoughts that come up, the idea being that in the tapping process those feelings can be brought up and moved to different parts of the brain, where they can be dealt with and released. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPqGjcxoPS8&feature=emb_logo

Ditto for essential oils, as they act on the brain immediately when smelled. Lavender, orange, and Melissa come to mind as great ones for anxiety. Frankincense and rose geranium are my go-to EOs for pain and neuro stuff.

Grounding exercises can be really helpful. My favorite is really paying attention and noticing five things I can see, four things I can feel, three things I can hear, two things I can smell, and one thing I can taste. Another is counting colors (4 red things, 4 orange things, 4 yellow, etc.) or alphabet games (someone I know with a name beginning with each letter, animals, jobs I might like, foods, etc.).

Physical grounding exercises can be helpful as well, including lightly scratching your skin, holding an ice cube against your skin, and feeling the weight of your body against the bed/chair/floor. Also rebounding - like with a swing, porch swing, or trampoline. And earthing - going outside with your feet on the ground. And possibly some negative ions if you can find them, like in a pine forest, ocean beach, or waterfall.

Check out some acupressure points. I find these helpful when I want to feel like I have the power to do something about how I feel but lack the patience for some of the more attention-intensive tasks. https://www.modernreflexology.com/acupressure-to-relieve-anxiety-palpitations-and-nervousness/

You know by now that I'm a big fan of DNRS, so allow me to say yet again, maybe try DNRS. ;)

Breath work is a powerful, fast way to tell your nervous system what you need it to know - namely that you are safe, there is no emergency, and it can chill. 4-7-8 breaths, box breathing, nadi shodhana (alternate nostril breathing), and lots of other options exist. All are good.

Yoga aligns your body in ways that send your brain and nervous system messages as well. Try: https://www.youtube.com/user/yogawithadriene/search?query=anxiety

Which supplements is your LLMD recommending? Perhaps some of them would be helpful for detox, nervous system, etc. Nearly everything can be found in liquid form, so you can take it more easily when you have no appetite. I agree that it's imperative to get you to a more functional baseline before overloading your system.

Can I ask what you are taking right now? I feel how you describe feeling after I take just one drop of holy basil, whereas it chills other people out beautifully. My point is that you never know what might be throwing you off-balance. So if you are taking adaptogens or other supplements that can affect the adrenal system, nervous system, or gut flora, then it might be best to stop everything for a while.

Focus on hydration and electrolytes. Try Emergen-C packets or homemade electrolyte drinks (perhaps lemon juice, water, maple syrup, and sea salt). Smoothies with coconut oil and/or protein powder are good if you can manage those. Metagenics makes a "medical food" powder called Ultra-InflammeX that contains a lot of nutrients and curcumin, so you won't have to worry about nutrition. It's not cheap, but it might be worth it for peace of mind. https://www.metagenics.com/ultrainflamx-plus-360

You are not going to waste away; your body just wants a break.

Things WILL even out. This awful phase IS temporary. I have had days of doing literally nothing but lying there whispering to myself that tomorrow will be better than today. Eventually it was.

Hi Louise 74.I agree.I have had these huge protocols from day 1 of starting with her.This is ridiculous how much she wants me to take.Its been a year and she still adding .blakeleys mom gave me info to a herbalist that does the Des Bios series kits for the different co infections.I think I’m going to try that.i still have physical symptoms as well mostly twitching and occasionally numbness and some brain stuff going on.Basicly the same symptoms when I started.the twitching have slowed some but it’s still there.

Louise74 said...
Are all your symptoms mental and not physical at this point?

I guess I'm not a huge fan of putting so much stuff in your body. It can only handle so much. Perhaps all this is creating the appetite loss as well as the anxiety.

Maybe transition to a very simple protocol like one herbal remedy and a detox and do that for a few months.

Give yourself some rest from such an aggressive protocol. Just a thought.

Thank you so much running wild for those kind words.Yes My little family mean everything to me and we belong together.Im sure many on here feel the same about there family.Its just so devastating that something like this could come along and try and steal our health and no MD will/can’t help us.This is mind blowing ,my God it is bacteria surely there is something to destroy this mess.I contacted a herbalist today that Blakeleysmom referred to try the DesBios series kit.I was given an anti depressant so hopefully that help me get back in balance mentally and then I will try the Des Bios.quote="running wild"]Familymatters - Just your online name alone explains why you would be on the edge and feeling as you do. So many have been or are there. Your love for your family/child and worrying about the impact on them says a lot about you. Guilt can build up, even though there is nothing you have done to feel guilty. Yet many on this site feel the same way.

It's hard for those not dealing with Lyme, even those closest to you, to understand. You do the best you can and show love every way possible while still dealing with the deep fear of the unknown. What others have mentioned about backing off a little on treatment, detoxing and working to get back to a balanced state may really help.

I am not one very good an not panicking at every little new symptom that comes along. I write that because it is the truth, and it would be hypocritical of me not to mention that. But there are so many on the site who understand, and at least you have a place to go to where people totally get your position.

Hang in there, and I hope only the best for you.

Hey Saraeli I took your advice and today I said I was going to fast and did nothing but drink water and sure enough by 2 I was very hungry.Thank God. And thank you I am hopeful it will remain.

saraeli said...
Wish I had seen this earlier. I'm so sorry you felt alone and unmoored last night, and perhaps still. I know it's very hard on your family, but please focus on yourself for the moment, and on what is going on right now. Sounds like a lot of spiraling is going on (catastrophizing, worst case scenarios, intrusive thoughts, obsessive thoughts, etc.) which I know can be an absolute horror to deal with. A lot of us drift in and out of that state of mind and even get stuck there sometimes.

I like Rainy's suggestion of a benzo to take as a "rescue" med temporarily, since a person's mental state can cause symptoms all by itself, and you don't need any more stress on your body. I'd also suggest a cannabis product, a strain designed for calming the symptoms you are experiencing. Unlike a benzo, cannabis has the added benefits of modulating the immune system, reducing inflammation, and not producing biochemical dependence in the same way. (It's real medicine. Ignore the stigma and ignorance, if they are holding you back.) Dispensary employees tend to be knowledgeable, but you also can get a lot of good information about strains for your particular needs at leafly.com.

I think that more antimicrobial treatment might be a mistake for you right now. It sounds like your body is overloaded and that the major psych symptoms are part of a herx from disulfiram and other things. Obviously I could be wrong, but that's my instinct.

If you have the patience for it today, perhaps try some guided visualizations. I really like the headaches and fibromyalgia ones here: https://healthy.kaiserpermanente.org/health-wellness/podcasts/conditions-diseases

There is one for anxiety here: https://healthy.kaiserpermanente.org/health-wellness/podcasts/emotional-wellness

Try tapping, and really give it a chance. A wellness blogger with Lyme posted a great video about it once (which I can't find right now) that specified saying the standard affirmation ("Even though ... I know that....") at the beginning and end but using the middle to voice all the other anxious thoughts that come up, the idea being that in the tapping process those feelings can be brought up and moved to different parts of the brain, where they can be dealt with and released. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPqGjcxoPS8&feature=emb_logo

Ditto for essential oils, as they act on the brain immediately when smelled. Lavender, orange, and Melissa come to mind as great ones for anxiety. Frankincense and rose geranium are my go-to EOs for pain and neuro stuff.

Grounding exercises can be really helpful. My favorite is really paying attention and noticing five things I can see, four things I can feel, three things I can hear, two things I can smell, and one thing I can taste. Another is counting colors (4 red things, 4 orange things, 4 yellow, etc.) or alphabet games (someone I know with a name beginning with each letter, animals, jobs I might like, foods, etc.).

Physical grounding exercises can be helpful as well, including lightly scratching your skin, holding an ice cube against your skin, and feeling the weight of your body against the bed/chair/floor. Also rebounding - like with a swing, porch swing, or trampoline. And earthing - going outside with your feet on the ground. And possibly some negative ions if you can find them, like in a pine forest, ocean beach, or waterfall.

Check out some acupressure points. I find these helpful when I want to feel like I have the power to do something about how I feel but lack the patience for some of the more attention-intensive tasks. https://www.modernreflexology.com/acupressure-to-relieve-anxiety-palpitations-and-nervousness/

You know by now that I'm a big fan of DNRS, so allow me to say yet again, maybe try DNRS. ;)

Breath work is a powerful, fast way to tell your nervous system what you need it to know - namely that you are safe, there is no emergency, and it can chill. 4-7-8 breaths, box breathing, nadi shodhana (alternate nostril breathing), and lots of other options exist. All are good.

Yoga aligns your body in ways that send your brain and nervous system messages as well. Try: https://www.youtube.com/user/yogawithadriene/search?query=anxiety

Which supplements is your LLMD recommending? Perhaps some of them would be helpful for detox, nervous system, etc. Nearly everything can be found in liquid form, so you can take it more easily when you have no appetite. I agree that it's imperative to get you to a more functional baseline before overloading your system.

Can I ask what you are taking right now? I feel how you describe feeling after I take just one drop of holy basil, whereas it chills other people out beautifully. My point is that you never know what might be throwing you off-balance. So if you are taking adaptogens or other supplements that can affect the adrenal system, nervous system, or gut flora, then it might be best to stop everything for a while.

Focus on hydration and electrolytes. Try Emergen-C packets or homemade electrolyte drinks (perhaps lemon juice, water, maple syrup, and sea salt). Smoothies with coconut oil and/or protein powder are good if you can manage those. Metagenics makes a "medical food" powder called Ultra-InflammeX that contains a lot of nutrients and curcumin, so you won't have to worry about nutrition. It's not cheap, but it might be worth it for peace of mind. https://www.metagenics.com/ultrainflamx-plus-360

You are not going to waste away; your body just wants a break.

Things WILL even out. This awful phase IS temporary. I have had days of doing literally nothing but lying there whispering to myself that tomorrow will be better than today. Eventually it was.

Hi wood duck thank you for your kind words and my hope and prayer is that we all will get through this.I know you know how hard it is and when you look at your family it really hurts.They can come up with all these medications and they can’t figure out how to kill these bacteria.I just do not believe it.All the doctors Llmd and regular should be working together and helping us and not taking us to the bank.

Woodduck12 said...
Familymatters, you are treating because you want to be present for your family. I am as well. My last symptoms to go are my scarriest ones. Brain symptoms that include horrid thoughts and impulses. I had times where I had to hang on and fight my own anxiety and impulses. One thing that works for me is drinking a ton of H20, Charcoal, and doing a project that forces me to focus on thinks other than my symptoms. I also have kids and a wife and it is depressing at times not being able to be the man for them that I need to be. What keeps me going is the story I will be able to tell someday. They will see the strength that we endure on a day to day basis. As for the pills I totally understand, you sound like you are taking a lot. I often wonder how much at times are herxig symptoms or drug toxicity? I know you need abx in some cases but geeze. I had times where I had to leave the houses and walk it out because the anxiety was so bad. I literally though I was going to take my last breath and die on a city street. Keep going and if you feel like you need to slow up do so.

Saraeli, thank you for your detailed response to familymatters! Your encouragement is always so helpful and well thought out.

Familymatters, when Blakeley had been on so many antibiotics for so long, I felt she hit a point where she just became toxic. She felt awful, looked awful, and her symptoms were full on. Her LLMD would hear my concerns but continue with the prescriptions as well. And we were told to just keep taking all this and at some unknown point, things should get better. That is al so frustrating! We just had to stop and let her body have a break. And that helped. It brought her from horrible to manageable, though Lyme/CO symptoms were all still present, she didn’t feel like she was dying. At the point she was at her worst, she told me she felt like she knew what someone would feel like when they were taking their last breath. So, I can relate to the thoughts you are having bc I have heard them before. But , the difference is you have a husband and a child, which is a completely different side of it all. I am so sorry you are suffering.

I don’t know about disulfiram but have heard it can cause psych symptoms. I am glad you got a Rx for something to help you pull up out of the hole. I pray that it will help you tremendously.

If you end up trying the DesBios, there will be herxing with that as well but we found that it is measurable. Like it’s not just you will herx for days on end but you will take the vial and you will herx but there are remedies for that. Very important to take the complete detox kit and have herx helpers on hand as well. We primarily used Des Bios products Herx, Lyme plus, and Nutrimedix burbur and pinella.

I wish you all the best and for quick relief. Have you totally stopped the prescriptions for now? Hopefully your body will respond positively to this break. Much prayers to you.

Also wanted to add to potentially not blame everything on Lyme and don't forget about the things that make Lyme and cos worse. There are other environmental things that you may want to consider as well.

I just had my house evaluated for mold and thought it was clean but one room came back with unhealthy levels. They also found construction debris in our air duct system. Apparently people cut corners during construction and renovation and left material they couldn't throw away in there. So if it's toxic material then we've been breathing it in for a few years.

Anyway it all contributes to a toxic ecosystem in the body. Just saying to consider some other things as well because mold issues can cause all sorts of anxiety, mental health and appetite issues.