I Just Can’t Get Out of the Mold and I’m Losing It

This may be sort of a rant, but here it goes...

I've tried everything. I have tried to reach out to homeless shelters, local organizations, etc. It's a housing crisis here. Can't get friends or family to help me stay with them, etc. I need a place to stay. I need to treat this. Seriously losing my mind. I can't think. My symptoms have not stopped since May 15th, 2021 and I am losing my mind from how everything always looking like I am hallucinogenic drugs. The fact that my vision is this slow and the vertigo/dizziness is this bad, and my ears hurt (like an ear infection but nobody can find anything), and how my right wrist and hand go numb and get so dry, and just everything It feels crazy how it never stops. No breaks, ever. Reading posts on here make me scratch my head at times because unlike many, I feel I am stuck IN a herx, yet I am not treating anything. I can't... until I am out of the mold. But I don't even see mold, I am round it as much. Maybe I need reassurance but I am starting to not even believe in it anymore. I am beginning to feel like my body is being eaten alive by a deadly infection, considering I was 215 and now weigh 115. I eat so darn freaking healthy (based on an overall diet, close as "healthy" gets without limiting far too much) - zero mistakes, all low histamine, all cooked well, all done right. Just trust me, nutrition is my thing. I even watch glutamate, oxalates, salicylates keeping them all in check. I follow everything to a T. I even watch foods that affect TH1/Th2 balance, which is considered important in MCAS. My problem is likely that I don't take supplements but I am extremely scared. I do Gupta, I do BrainTap. I am just losing my mind here. I feel SO alone too. If I don't reach out to anyone for 30 days, guess who messages or calls? 0 people. Zero. Nobody. I feel like the entire world is against me. People treat me like I am a shame. Like an abusive predator. I haven't hurt a freaking fly! I am SO nice to propel too! I feel like there can be nothing lower than this. Being evicted from my moldy apartment in May without a place to go, no actual friends or family that cares enough. Some people message me and say they wish the best, but no one offers a place ot stay... but we all know someone has some space, people just don't want to offer because they don't understand. They never will get the big picture until I am dead. I fear that I will be dead within a couple of months if something doesn't change. I feel I have no options at this point. Regardless of what I do. My doc even said there is nothing she can do at this point, she has not a clue. She just keeps telling me "you are being poisoned constantly, you need ot leave there as soon as possible." But I can't! 😢

IF I live through this and don't die, I will be making the album of a lifetime. This has given me a new direction with how I want to make music and what I want to do. I've gotten what I need out of falling to the bottom, so when is it my turn for things to get better? Come on, HELP ME!

I feel your pain. Mold definitely has the potential to give you suicidal depression from my own experiences. I cried every day for like a year straight and your mind just feeds you terrible thoughts. Where are you from? Which state / part of the state? From my own experiences avoiding mold is much more important than food selection, but that’s jsut for me. Let me know where you’re from and maybe I can offer some suggestions. Maybe going on a “mold sabbatical” for a week or two will help provide some clarity if this is driving your symptoms.

I also have about 7 or 8 infections too. I can't really keep up with any of it anymore. I know so much about all of it, so that's also messing with me. I need to back off, but greater intellect and knowledge has always been my strong suit, but clearly it's only making me worse. I just need to get out of here. Even once I do, it likely won't make me feel better since it's deeply colonized with me. I also really need to treat these infections before they kill me. It's just a mess. Sorry, I can't really think straight anymore.

I really appreciate that. Contact from people would be useful. My email is open to anyone who wants to email (so long as it's coming from a positive place).

My docs have said they don't even go by the testing anymore (except the initial one to see if there's just one thing they can catch on paper), considering they all come out with nearly the same symptoms. All of them really do have the same stuff going on, it's near impossible to track what is what, and I get why they would go about it that way because symptoms aren't going to be the base of it all. The idea is that each person is going to have their own symptoms based on what' going on with their genes and it's really just an effect of what is attacking what in your body. It's important to see it like an autoimmune disease considering we know that the TH1/TH2 balance plays a role, specifically TH2. It's one of the only things that has helped me feel more "normal" than I used to, that and moving downstairs. I still think my biggest issue is all of these infections though.

Post Edited By Moderator (Girlie) : 3/3/2022 2:06:44 AM (GMT-7)

Got it, all set!

Forest - I have LOTS (laughing) of experience with mold and I might be able to help a little. I'll email you. Hang in there. MM.

Post Edited (Mister Mike) : 3/6/2022 4:04:05 PM (GMT-7)