Hey everyone. Haven't been here in a LONG time, because quite frankly I'm done with this 8-year chapter in my life and while Lyme will always be a part of my story, it's a much much bigger story - and a life - I'd like to claim for my Self and not a disease. I found I needed to hone my own intuition most of all, and foster calm and safety in my nervous system. Sometimes you gotta drop out of the war if you wanna find peace.
I've been in and out of remission for 2 years, and "relapses" are generally fatigue and brain fog due to major life stressors (like COVID and a broken ankle. Healed both without surgery or drugs. Worst part of COVID was babesia flashbacks and panic attacks from the chest congestion/ air hunger. Healed COVID in 2 weeks without a doctor, with the supplement protocol Dr Horowitz put out 4 years ago, and the following 2 factors) . As soon as I get a grip on my REST, stress, healthy coping mechanisms and diet, I'm back. So I don't consider it a relapse anymore. Getting sick and injured is a part of life, but after chronic Lyme, getting sick is mostly a massive PTSD trigger, and I will never not insist on a mental health component to healing. I recently saw someone ask about
dissociation and brain fog, which I had for 4 years straight and found it was C-PTSD dissociation - look up Dr. Arielle Schwartz, and my former post about
brain fog. It turned out I was right, and trauma work cleared that up in time. It's a built-in coping mechanism the brain uses when too stressed. It comes back when I'm stressed, and resolves when I process my stressors and regulate my nervous system.
I won't be answering questions or DM's because everything I can tell you is already in this forum and these two concepts:
For medical intervention, Chinese Medicine, specifically the Classical Pearls formulated by Dr. Heiner Fruehauf, along with an experience Doctor of Oriental Medicine (can be found at
https://www.classicalchinesemedicine.org or
https://www.classicalpearls.org . The real power of Chinese Medicine for me was not only in the medical-grade herbs but in the entire philosophical paradigm it's based on, wholeness of mind-body-spirit-environment, the relationship with nature and pathogens, not just "it's bad, annihilate it." It gives me tools to treat myself in any flare up or sickness through foods and acupressure and lifestyle choices. Any herbal protocol that's not pumping the body full of chemicals and destroying the microbiome and unbalancing systems down the line is my recommendation. Which leads to the second part, regardless of protocol (and perhaps without any pathogen treatment at all)
Second and probably most important, I haven't seen this protocol/program mentioned here at all ever, and it's a life-changer.
www.primaltrust.org[url]
Developed by a chronic Lymie/mold/every diagnosis under the sun warrior herself, Dr Cathleen King. (She did a podcast with Tick Boot Camp, check that out too)
I didn't use her program because it didn't exist yet (it's new) and I was busy spending 5 years doing the exact same research and work and figuring it out for myself (so that's possible, if you have no money) I was told about
Primal Trust from my physical therapist, who said everything I told her sounded just like Dr. Cathleen King, so I began following her social accounts and all the free resources and videos, and found out she has made a program out of EVERYTHING I had to discover on my own. Condensed, explained, guided, the biggest shortcut I could possibly give to a person, though the retraining of the brain and mindset is the biggest hurdle we sadly won't be able rush for ourselves or anyone else. Primal Trust is essentially what I did on my own to heal, thankfully consolidated by a professional so I don't have to devote my life to Lyme in any capacity whatsoever - I get to just share someone else's work and move on. I get to tell MY story if and when I want to. It's very freeing. She had a great video, ebook and podcasts about
"Why is it taking me so long to heal?" With a LOT of good points.
So I'm riding horses, eating food that was previously reactive, off every prescript
ion medication I've ever been on (including 20 years of "hereditary" and "necessary" antidepressants), and down from 45 pills a day to a few vitamins and whatever herb/tea I need for the season (spring allergies, stressed liver, COVID, etc). Traveling and moving abroad, navigating stress and PTSD, breathing, meditating, resting, and loving myself with infinite compassion (the work of Drs. Gábor Máté, Bessel van der Kolk, and Nicole LePera were also very helpful to me, concepts like Compassionate Inquiry, Somatic Experiencing, the HEAL documentary, and most holistically for Lyme, Primal Trust). It's a journey. I'm not living a perfect life free of struggles. But I'm living the best version of my self FOR SURE and I wouldn't trade my knowledge and experience for anything. I am so thankful I got Lyme. It saved my life. I truly believe that. And it also almost killed me and gave my husband PTSD from watching me die and pay the medical bills. I know that too. Yin and Yang, both/and.
I've shared all my journey and every piece of advice with people I know personally who still could not/would not follow and heal, which is why I'm getting out of the support "business". I've pointed every compass and dropped every name I can, now I need to go live my life. "When the student is ready, the teacher appears. When the student is really ready, the teacher disappears." (Lao Tzu)
I'm not saying there's a one-stop shop; every single person has to embrace their own story and life for what it is and what choices they want to make with the options they've got. Give yourself grace for your own timing and journey and let yourself mess up and take the scenic route. You're doing the best you can with the resources you have. Love and be proud of yourself for that. This is how I found healing and all I can say is: IT'S POSSIBLE.
Thank you to all who supported this journey, and I hope you find whatever it is you're looking for, be it healing, purpose, sacrifice, respect, or love. Above all, I wish you peace, inside and outside.