(No Subject)

So I have severe anxiety and panic disorder. I used to take Xanax about 6 years ago which I was on for about 7 years. I finally quit taking it cold turkey which landed me in a mental health facility because I was losing it from the withdrawals. While in there they got me on Lexapro which I had been on for about the last 5 to 6 years. about a month ago I got really sick and i guess had a major panic attack which I have not had in about 5 years. Ever since then I've been a wreck because I got the bright idea to try and come off the lexapro. I was off of it for about three weeks and feeling mentally clear but then my anxiety and sense of self awareness was at an all time high. I decided to with dr.'s advice try to get back on the lexapro which may I ad for the last 5 years I was only taking 5mg once every 2 days. I know that is not the right thing to do but I felt like it made me sick in the beginning and never have it a chance. I've decided to try to take it everyday now and have been back on it for 5 days but I'm feeling awful. Stomach is always upset, no appetite, severe gas, always thirsty, feeling anxious and still very self aware of my symptoms, dizzy and everytime that I shower I feel like my heart rate jumps up about 30bpm and I feel like I'm gonna black out. I've read that lexapro can raise your blood pressure and I'm wondering if that may be part of it. I want to hang on and keep fighting and give this a fair chance but I'm desperate and feeling lost. I've completely alienated myself from the world because I feel so sick and I've been out of work for a month and I'm afraid I'm going to lose my job even though I'm protected through the union. Any advice or words of encouragement at this point will be greatly appreciated.