tired

 I'm just tired. I just recently had yet another ER visit. Terrible migraine, blurry vision, tinly arm. of course, they do CT that is normal. They ask me nothing about what works and come back with ativan and something I've never heard of. Eventually I cry myself to sleep but have leg cramps for days from the shot. My doctors are tired of treating me. My parents are tired of me needing treatment. I'm just tired. Its getting to the point where I feel doctors don't even believe me anymore. One visit He feels the need to share how much money its costing, and that "you obviouslly don't have any controll on these headaches". Really? thats why I'm seeing you. I'm doing all I know to do. Diaries, preventatives, Neuro appointments, diet change, no job for less stress, taking Imitrex shots, trying not to take Narcotics. Nothing is helping. So after 24 hrs of pain, I finally just resort to a pain shot, and they docs get mad. Just the other day, I passed a Kidney stone. I was in horrible pain, but for some reason the test didn't show a stone. Only stones in the kidneys. The docs send me home, litterally crying harder than when a friend died, and when I asked them what they suggest,"Go home and hope it goes away." I'm so tired of every test being normal. I know its good and means nothings wrong with me, but my goodness something IS wrong with me. If doctors can't see it, they think its not really there. then, b/c of my migraines I have a tollerance for pain meds, and the normal dose for most people, doesn't touch my pain, and they think b/c I ask for something stronger or more, I'm just a drug seeker. I see myself becoming a drug seeker, not for the "high" but just because I want a few moments of relief. Is that so wrong??  I'm tired of not being able to function, not being able to enjoy life, not having a life. All I know is pain and frustration and I'm tired.

I know all too well what you are going through....All I can say is hang in there....I know how it feels to go to the ER and get the looks and the attitudes that you are a drug seeker -- I have been there too many times to count. I too am tolerant to medication due to both migraines and a back injury that I had successful surgery for. Have you been to a pain clinic? Sometimes they are better about understanding the tolerance levels that we build up. If you are seeing a neurologist I would recommend seeing another one! I don't know if you have a big clinic with a choice of docs or not. I didn't when I was living in South Dakota but since moving back to Rochester, Minnesota I am being seen at the Mayo Clinic so there are LOTS of docs around. I am seeing my neurologist on Wednesday to see about nailing down a plan for the migraines. BOTOX and Fentanyl suckers most likely. I am here if you want to talk. Hang in there..... Thanks also for setting hello kitty straight on the pain med thing!