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Posted 5/24/2009 11:40 PM (GMT 0)
So my problems started the day I got my first infusion on Tysabri, I was one day out of the hospital from falling and getting a concussion. My wife and I were sitting there during the whole infusion, and I could notice that she was acting a little weird.(oh also she didn't even come up to the hospital to see me, AND it was my B-day.) pretty crappy time to be up there. So anyways I ask her what was wrong, and she told me alot of things. I said alot of things like what, and she told me she wasn't happy anymore.... then didn't want to talk about it anymore up there. Long story short over the past few months, she basically told me that she has lost all her feelings for me and she does not think that she can get them back and wants a separation. And now she is talking divorce. I just noticed on Friday that she wasn't wearing her ring anymore. That felt like a rusty fork stabbing me in my chest and turning and turning.. We have to children, 5 and 3. She can't even try to make it work for them..***. I am trying to deal with all the stress with this but I think it has to tight of a hold on me. I can feel my legs getting weaker day by day. Well sorry to just stop like this but gotta go get the kids some food. cry
Posted 5/25/2009 11:04 PM (GMT 0)
oooh Andy!!!

I am so sorry!  You don't deserve this.  I feel just terrible.  Hang in there.  Just take it one day at a time.  Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Posted 5/26/2009 2:15 AM (GMT 0)
Awwww Andy,
I am so sorry to hear this. Stay positive, maybe you all can work it out. Maybe she is scared. This disease has a way of doing that. I feel so bad when i read this post. Hang in there, OK!!!
Thinking of you
Lynn
Posted 5/26/2009 6:06 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks guy's, I'm trying very hard...
Posted 5/27/2009 12:58 AM (GMT 0)
Andy,

I am so very sorry for what your going thru. MS takes it toll. My husband and I are having a tough time right now too. I hope everything works out for the best. (((((hugs))))))

Heather
Posted 5/27/2009 3:50 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks, but it doesn't look that way. She is looking for a place to live and I am not really feeling very good. I know its the stress. I can feel my legs getting weaker and shaking more. I almost feel like checking myself into a hospital and telling them I don't ever want to leave. I am not getting much sleep at all, I just toss and turn and I can't take an ambien because I have to be able to hear my son if he wakes up. I sometimes feel if the kids weren't involved I'd probably pull a Heath Ledger..... but these kids mean too much to me. I'm really not in a good state of mind this is so hard and I want it over. Talk to you guys later. thanks for the ((((((hugs))))).
Posted 5/27/2009 5:45 PM (GMT 0)
Very sorry, Andy. I do not want to minimize your pain in any way shape or form but I do want to tell you that 5 years after separating from my ex husband I could not be happier. I realize now that it was one of the best things to happen to me and, although it was sad and frightening, and I felt hurt and angry and worried about the kids, I think we are ALL BETTER OFF NOW.
I thank God that I wasn't diagnosed with MS when I was married. I would have felt stuck in that relationship and afraid to leave. Now, I get the support that I need from others and don't feel constantly disappointed that the guy who is supposed to be there no matter what can't give it to me.
Hang in. Keep venting. I credit venting for my sanity.
Lazy Julie
http://lazyjulie.blogspot.com
Posted 5/29/2009 6:00 PM (GMT 0)
Andy, You brought me out of hiding. I am so sorry. Please find someone to talk to about what you are going through.

Barb
Posted 5/29/2009 9:21 PM (GMT 0)
sorry things are so crappy for you. i sometimes wish my husband would leave so i could blame him and i wouldn't feel like such a burden.
Posted 5/30/2009 12:40 PM (GMT 0)

Andy,

Hang in there! You are dealing with a lot and the MS is contributing to your overall mind set.  It sounds like you are very depressed (you can blame you!?)and need to address this with your physician. Is your wife helping you with the children at all or just looking for a place for herself? You need to find something to do to relieve the stress.  I was just in an infusion session with a girl that was also getting Tysabri and she called it her mirable drug.  She was having trouble walking.  She says in the past it takes her a week and then she has picked right back up where she was and feels great.  So stay strong and take it one day at a time. It will get better! I've had MS for 18 years, since 22, and it is a rollercoaster ride.

Posted 5/31/2009 2:02 AM (GMT 0)
Andy,
Geez dont talk like that. Your going to be fine. Give the Tysabri a little bit to kick in. You are going to bounce back. This disease is so sucky. I think it takes so long for the acceptance of it all. Some days are bad, but you have to think about the positives. Look at your children. They need you. You need to be strong for them. They don't understand, no matter how much we try to explain, they just see us, Mommy and Daddy. Matter of fact, i really dont think anyone but another MS'er get's it. We look fine, but inside our skin is crawling. You have to find some meds maybe, to make your symptoms managable, I was having a real hard time, finally asked for something for depression. I take cymbalta and its a god send. Maybe something like that would help you thru this difficult time. And the best part, You just started Tysabri. You are going to be fine Andy. Just wait and see.
Peace,
Lynn
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