Pending Colostomy, need help and advice!

I got my colostomy in December due to diverticulitis and a perforation. Very long stay in the hospital, acquired c. diff while there, and lots of other fun stuff. I was due to have the reversal in May but decided, because of my surgeon pissing me off, that I would just keep the bag. People are shocked that I wasn't just dying to get rid of it. But, and this is a big but, I'm an older person, I work from home so having a potential problem with having to go to the potty at work to empty doesn't come into play (and the truth is you shouldn't have to go to the bathroom any more often than you do now) and last, I'm single so I may not be the best person to advise you.

Now, having said all that, people with permanent ostomies don't have insurmountable problems. Sleeping isn't a problem. You can sleep on it if you want. Mine happens to be on the side I do not sleep on but even when I lie on that side, it's not a problem.

You might have a leak/blow out. It's inevitable at some point, I suppose but if you are vigilant about emptying before it's half full, you shouldn't have any accidents. If you start to have seepage under your wafer, you will feel itchy and burning on the skin. That's your cue to go change.

Some people have blow outs at night making for a big mess in bed. I'm a light sleeper and get up several times to pee anyway so if my bag was full, I could empty. I have output in the early a.m. so I haven't had to empty in the night.

You're young, you're gonna have love in your life. Someone who recoils at the idea of your ostomy isn't for you. It doesn't interfere with intimacy if you're both adult and look at it for what it is, saving your life. I look at it as a big bandaid. It's opaque, no one can see 'stuff' in it, it's just a flesh colored thing stuck to my left side.

You can shower in your appliance, you can swim in your appliance, you can do everything you normally did with your appliance, for the most part.

You do not have to have different clothing. Some appliances are so low profile, you could wear a skin tight knit dress and no one would know. The only time you can see mine is when it's full of air and it's like a blimp in my britches. But that can be avoided by going to the loo and burping it before it gets to that point.

I don't know if I've helped you or not but an ostomy is not the end of the world and it sounds like it might be the beginning of a normal life for you and I'd say go for it. You have a lot of years to live and you probably don't want to spend them like you are now, right?

i wouldnt' go back to life without one either! this is so much easier. this is an odd thing, but we were out with friends the other day and one of them had to go poo the normal way, and so they were gone for a while, and i thought, wow i sure dont' miss that!
you don't have to change your clothes, you dont' have to change the way you sleep, i just snaked some of those pads from the hospital, the waterproof ones they put under you, sewed a sheet on top of them, and sleep on them. That way, if i do have a leak, all i gotta do is get up, take off the pad and change my stuff. Not change the whole bed. I also already had plastic covers on my matress, i have a small child, lol. And that makes me feel better. It doesn't keep you from doing anything, or make it harder to do anything.
I won't lie, there are times when it's a bit annoying, but then i think, you know if not for this, i would be sitting at home still, instead of doing all the stuff i have been doing lately! since i got mine, i have gotten some friends, i go out every friday night, my friends and their kids come over and we do stuff, like swim, and bowl. I actually just came home from their house. Could have never done that with UC.
Could it leak? sure it could. But if you think about it this way, it's in the front, and you will know really quicly if it happens, and most people are not gonna think that it's poo in the front anyway, so just run off to the bathroom really quickly. There are things you can do to help keep leaks at bay, and never change right before leaving the house, lol. I have changed and run out a few times, but for the most part i like to change a few hours before i am going to go somewhere.
For showering and swimming i tape the bag up on itself so that it wont' show or get in the way.

Good luck with your surgery, and keep repeating this, "I wont' be sick, i won't be sick!" Also make you a list of all the things you CAN'T do now, and then make a list of the things you think you won't like about the bag. I think you will be suprised how much bigger the first list is.

I also wanted to add that the worst thing about the whole experience for me after getting home from my long hosp. stay was finding an appliance that worked. On another ostomy board, they suggested that I call all the suppliers and ask for samples. I did that and finally found one that gives me 7 days wear (and more if I wanted to go longer).

when you call those places, they'll ask you what size your stoma is, what shape it is, whether it's an innie or an outie. You want your surgeon to give you a little bit of an outie if possible. I have an innie which means that I need a convex appliance. They're a little more tricky, these innies.

Not everyone's body is the same so no one appliance is right for everyone. It's trial and error and yegawds, it's itchy, burny, hurty & annoying until you find the one for you.

And if you have a say in placement of your stoma (mine was an emergency and I had no say), think hard about what kind of clothes you wear. Mine happens to be about midway from waist to thigh and to the left of my belly button. Even if I wore low rise jeans, it still wouldn't show but some people end up with them too high and it presents a problem.

also, i forgot to add it's nice to know that the bags aren't like see through because that's what i assumed. and also so are you able to tape the bag to yourself or something or is it not too big that it flops about during activities like exercise or running?

pee ess: there are clear pouches and opaque pouches. Frankly, in the beginning most people want the clear so they can see what is going on in there. Takes the mystery out of it, so to speak. You can see the consistency which beginners are fascinated by (heh) and see when you've emptied it completely, if you desire. when I say mine lasts me 7 days, I mean the wafer sticks on my body for at least that long. I empty the pouch several times a day. The pouch, if you get a 2 pc. one, has a tupperware type closure and you can burp it if you feel the pouch is filling with 'air'. I like the drainable ones because I can't afford to replace my bag every day.

hope some of this helps.

Forgot to mention I have an illeostomy, so leakage is more of a problem. A colostomy is less likely to leak.

Absolutely not! NO baggy sweatshirts at all!! I like the new tops that are flowy near the bottom, and if you wear those spanx type things it stays flatter. So you should be able to wear tight tops. And as I mentionned, it's usually only me who notices anything at all. Emptying frequently will also help, but if you are having a colostomy, your output might only be once a day...and you would stay flat the rest of the day. Apparently it can regulate and you will have some idea when your output will come.Also, if you get bags with a filter (which I cannot due to the watery output) the gas should be able to escape and you wouldn't have the bloaty bag.

Sorry, but yeah, bikinis would not be an easy option. Unless you had a nasty high waisted one!! But at least swimming is not out, which I wondered about.

Someone else had posted that they put a regular tube top during intimacy. Thought that was a good idea, but haven't had a chance to get one yet (or remember!).

I agree with the layering of a tank top, although it is sooo hot and humid it's out of the question right now. I'm a bit freaky about ANY part of the appliance being seen, so bikinis would never happen for me, but I also have a picc line which I am very self conscious about. Too many boo boos!! Love the baby doll dresses too...wear them all the time and my hubby comments that I look so much nicer. You just look more put together in a dress, and they are so easy and not restrictive.

JCPenneys has these undies made by flirtitude, and they are really cute and all, the boy short or hipster kind or really good and they hold the bag in perfectly. I tuck mine up in on itself. I tape the very top of my bag to my stomach, that way it doesnt' pooch out over my pants. I am not really the most stylish dresser, i never have been, but i wear regular low rise jeans, and the same kind of shirts i have always worn. we have a photobucket page, with all of us in our clothes (well obviously, we aren't naked, lol) and there are a few in bathing suits. It's photobucket.com and it's crohnsdisease and the password is 6mp3asa i made a pic where there are two of me side by side and it says, can you tell under it, noone has even tried to guess which pic i have the ostomy in, cause they cant' tell. And the one person who did guess, guessed wrong.

oh no, that's not creepy at all, anybody can call me pretty anytime they want, lol. Was there a single pic on there that you could tell any of us had bags? Even in the bathing suit ones?

i really wish that i had been able to see pics of people with them, at least people i knew had them when i first got sick. Also, it may help you to know that there are lots of famous people with them. Tony Snow, who recently died, had one, one of the queens of england had one, fred astaire has one, one of the Bush brothers, napoleon even had one!