Random thoughts of an ostomate insomniac.

I'm feel like airing out my brain right now. This is what's in it.
I can't sleep at night b/c of the pred. I'm afraid I'll b/c addicted to pain pills b/c I haven't taken them during the day for two days, but I take them at night to help me go to sleep. Hopefully it'll change when I'm off pred., but what if it doesn't.

Pred. has made my face so fat, I barely recognize myself in the mirror. And I'm embarrased to go out in public, but not b/c of my ostomy, b/c of my fat pimply face. I'm going to decrease my dose at a faster rate than the Dr. suggested.

I don't know how to spell embarrased and I'm not going to try to figure it out.

How am I supposed to get rid of my stupid mice. I bought some of those ultrasonic plug in things today. But I just came from the basement where I heard the little suckers running rampant in the ceiling. UGH! The next step is an exterminator, but if they die somewhere in the house, what if I can't find them? They'll stink forever.

My output was very dark today. Maybe it was the Bar-B-Q ? I can't think of what else it'd be....

I had a bad experience with a convatec rep. He made me feel stupid when I called for samples b/c it was right after my surgeries and everything was new and I didn't know the size of my ostomy. Plus it was on the left side which is odd for an ileo. He was impatient with me and still sent me right sided stuff. When I got off the phone with him, I cried. This happened a few weeks ago, but it still bothers me.

I'm glad the steelers won. I don't care if they've won so many. I like Ben Rothlesberger. My husband wanted Arizona to win.
I wish the KC Chiefs didn't stink so badly. Maybe next year will be better since we've got a whole NEW EVERYTHING!

The area below my stoma is stinging, but I don't know if it's leaking or just skin irritation. I hate changing it. So i'll put it off until tomorrow so I can get at least 3 days. Or is it 2 days....I changed it yesterday, so if I change it tomorrow afternoon, then it's technically only 2 days. Dang! I'm gonna push it.

Still not tired.

My CT scan is tomorrow. I hope it's normal, but I have a fear it won't be.

I was hoping this post might be funny, but I'm going back and reading it and it's kind of depressing.....Sorry. I'm usually a much happier and optomistic person.

I don't know how to spell optomistic and I'm not going to try to figure it out. in fact, I'm going to stop coreecting any grammer/spelling ereores. It'll be hard for me, as I type fast and make many mistakes, but I don't care........

I've been fantasizing about having another baby lately. NOT that i want to get pregnant anytime soon, but maybe int eh fall? But i'm so scared of how it'sll all go with an ileo. hopefullly i'll be off coumadin by then. if not, i'm not sure i'll want to be pregnant again. i hate thos loveonox shots.

Wow. I'm a really lousy tpiest.

I love this site. I'm addicted to it.

Syrip? ooooh cool- I'll try it tomorrow jsut to see. I still like corn chip out put the best.
I already have 2 worthless cats! Only my little longhaired dachshund has killed any. I was so happy, I almost let him eat them.
Almost
But then I'd have to worry about worms and stuff.

I feel like a dork when after I've posted a bunch of stuff and I look to the right of the screen and see last post by Chasblah all the way down.

I appreciate random thoughts, too, and think your post was funny!

Most of us have been there - up all night with the prednisone insomnia and crazy thoughts - so you are in good company here. I used to be up in the middle of the night and would start cleaning my house like a mad woman, and I'm not even a clean freak!

Good luck with your CT scan today.

Funny, well, not funny. I just had a mouse, chipmonk or SOMETHING die in between the wall that I can't get to and it stinks like crazy and I don't know what to do about it!

Oh I HATED being on prednisone. I called it the 'predhead.' At least I got a lot done during the times I was on it.

I looked like a walking candy apple on pred with a skinny body and big head. The good news is... it goes away once you're off of it.

My cat caught a rat once, chewed its head off, and left it on our front porch as a gift.

Holy Hell!!!...I got in on this conversation a little late. : )

Chassity...I hope your clot is nothing serious! Isn't it nice when you are delivered information by medical professionals but then told "but we don't know what it means"? What? Really?! It's like during my c-section the doctor and nurses were talking about how lucky we were my son was still alive! They used words like 'tragedy' and 'miracle' that he was born when he was...as my water ruptured (I was reminded of the movie The Coneheads when my water broke...MESSY) and my body wasn't ready so we used pitocin and his heart rate decreased with each contraction to later learn the chord was around his neck three times and the chord and placenta were under developed...anyway, yeah, I was awake during all this chit chat...had just glimpsed at my son before my husband and him went back to the room, and I was just laying there listening to this tummy talk as they stitched me up. I was so mad!!! Not mention overly emotional b/c my baby was just delivered, he wasn't with me, and I was mad b/c I couldn't see or feel anything that was going on behind the blue curtain. Not saying I really wanted to, but that's part my control issue.

I thought your first post was super funny...OHIO you made me laugh with your basement stair comment! My son is light sleeper and I never really did any late night cleaning with the roids. However, I am still on them and have the lovely fat face and hump on my neck. Not to mention my fat bootie and tubby tummy...I'm just gorgeous! My husband really is super awesome b/c I look nothing like when we got married, or at the start of our pregnancy for that matter.

I have random thoughts constantly...always have really. So, it's all good!!!

I'm super happy today b/c my client that drives me up the wall is sick...darn...and b/c my immune system is crap I really shouldn't be around him. : ) Again...darn. : ) I wasn't able to see them last Friday either b/c my UC was angry. It's not really a biggie if they're not seen b/c we're going to place the son anyway...it should have happened before now, but better late than never. My job is actually to prevent the removal of children but in this case I would not have it any other way.

I'm good with starting a thread about random discussions. I also have become addicted to this site b/c I feel we are each in such unique situations that no matter how hard our family and friends try to understand they really can't. It's one thing to watch, support and be involved with someone going through what we have and are still going through, and it's another to have actually experienced it. So, having found this site and more this ostomy forum over the UC forum, I feel just so...happy! : ) I do enjoy the UC site, but b/c my case seems more severe than most I felt that some just didn't fully understand my struggles. I was very tired of being asked if I tried diets and nutritional changes and fecal transplants (GROSS!!!) before my decision for surgery. Then to be honest my diet has only been 50% restricted b/c really it doesn't matter what I eat for the most part b/c I'm in a constant flare and EVERYTHING hurts as it goes through...just some worse than others, so those were the foods cut...like spices, pickles, fiber, fried foods, high lactose...etc.

So, that's my input. : )

Is it bad that my son likes TV? He's talking and laughing with Dora right now...but also climbing out of the recliner practice walking...so maybe he's not that addicted...but still...I think he watches too much TV. Hmm.

Oh, but he's off the bottle!!! : ) He's now gone three days without one and I have them packed and ready for storage! It was extremely bittersweet, as my baby is growing up...but we use Dr. Brown's bottles and they are a pill to clean!

: ) Robin

It's never too late to join in. I've seen people continue a thread that had been dormant since 2005!

I always planned on minimal TV for my children, but it seriously became a godsend when I had to run to the bathroom while my son needed comforting. Walking and rocking always upsets my UC so Noggin was frequently on in the middle of the night...we have recently been turned on to Sprout...but on a Noggin note I am so happy Nickalodeon added Olivia!!! Such a sweet show!!!

My son loves attacking my laptop...I honestly didn't think he'd realize I had it open while I snuck out of the room one day and when I came back he was as happy as a clam banging on the keys...my work document looked extremely interesting!

I got all my little things for the hospital today. I still need to gather some big bulky clothes...I think my mother-in-law is going to scout the sale racks at Wal-Mart for pjs. I'm finding this entire experience very overwhelming. However, since I've been in so much pain lately this surgery is becoming more and more welcomed. : )

Chassity, my son was born 01/04/08...just a little after Elliott. : ) Aren't toddlers fun?! He fought sleep through his afternoon nap time, so after struggling with him to calm down I just stuck him in his bed...with the TV on. *cringe* He's going from whine to pout to laugh to laugh/pout. I kind of wish he just relaxes a bit and is up for another hour or so before passing out for the night. : ) Wouldn't it be AWESOME if we got to choose their sleep patterns?!

Anyway, I'm interested to learn what your CT scan says. I think mine took a couple days before any results were given.

Also, where is your favorite place to eat BarBQ? I haven't really found a fave place in the city, but I do have a couple here in Marshall and Sedalia. : )

Man, I just love reading this.  No one in  my family gets me.  They try, but it's just too strange.  The pred is known as the "make mama crazy" drug in this house.  I wish it gave me exta energy.  It just turned me into a raging ***** and I do mean the BIG B. The moon face seemed to take forever to go away. Be careful going off that stuff too fast.  It can really mess with your heart and blood sugar (found that out the hard way).

Anywho, Summerstorm you have such great stories. As for mice in the wall, I found traps set with bacon really worked.  Cooked bacon.  Tie it to the trap with some string.  We have caught many a mouse with this.  We live next to farm fields and a big dairy farm. Love the smell when it comes over the farm to the house. MMMM manure.

I'll be thinking good thoughts for you.  In terms of clothes, depending upon where your illeostomy is, I found overall bibs to be the best thing in the world.  Can't tell what your body looks like underneath and you can be any size and they still fit.    If you're well endowed, make sure the top of them is at least two hand widths. Otherwise your boobs hang out one side, not so attractive. Another clothing item I can't believe I love are the cheep stretchy pants from Wal-Mart. Not constricting and oh so easy to get up and down.

My other random though is, does anyone still have a bum that hurts? I have one spot that is still hurting.  It's really iritating.

I've bought so many pair of lounge pants since my surgeries. But my most comfy pair I got on clearance from American Eagle. And you can still get some....I love them. So soft and stretchy. But right after surgery, I only wore night gowns to bed b/c I didn't want anything on my abdomen.

Bacon on the traps. I'll try that. B/c they are too smart for the peanut butter. I know there is one under my sink in the kitchen right now b/c all my pets are sitting in front of it staring. I told Oscar (my dachshund) that if he caught another one, I'd give him some ice cream, but I'll up the reward to a cheesburger (that's a huge deal for me b/c I NEVER give them table scraps) (of course he doesn't speak English, so I'm just humoring myself.... )

Yeah pred.-I call it 'roid rage. I'm soooooooo mean. And I don't take crap from anyone. I was on it during my pregnancy too. I was just so much FUN to be around. with pregnancy hormones and 'roid rage. I think that's why I gained so much weight. Or at least it's easier to blame pred. than to blame myself. Oh well, lots of women gain 50 lbs.....right.......that's what i tell myself. The OB (not my OB, but her partner) actually said to me "You've gained enough weight so you can stop now" I just laughed b/c I was only in my 2nd trimester. and knew i'd gain more.

Teebs-why does yur butt still hurt? that can't be good.

Bar B Q- There is not any good place up north in KC with really good barbeque. So we went to Smokehouse. The new one at Zona Rosa. It was pretty good though, since I havent eaten that kind of food in forever. My husband was in heaven b/c he doesn't get to eat that stuff often either b/c of me. He really likes Oklahoma Joe's or Jackstack.

Yes toddlers are fun. YES i wish I could choose her sleep patterns and have her sleep past 7 a.m. I'm sill not used to that.

I just put on a 2 piece for the first time. Just to try it. Had to change b/c leaked AGAIN! I got samples from hollister, but I'm worried b/c they have vents and y'all said once the vents get wet they fail. I have some appliance ?'s, but I'll go start another thread.

Prednisone.....such a horrible, horrible cheap drug that works. I didn't look in mirrors for the longest time, fearing the moonpie face. Where did my jaw bones go? Now, after the surgery and off the meds, I look back at pictures and just can't believe the difference. I have my face back, my identity.

If you haven't already, you have to try the gatorades! Talk about psychedelic toilet water. Also, the crystal light pomegranate flavoring....I thought I was bleeding out!

chas, i know this is a semi old post and i havent read all of the responses, but i want u to know that i know how it felt to have the prednisone make u feel ugly and unrecognizable and a little crazy to be honest. i hope u have since found relief, but if not PLEASE DO NOT lessen ur dose quicker than the doc reccommends. i tried that and ended up in the hospital for three weeks with thrush in my mouth and throat and it was horrific. try to hold out! hope all is better by now-p4h

Be safe decreasing the steroids.  If you begin feeling nauseous or like you are getting the flu, you could be coming off of them too quickly.  Please keep your doctor informed.  Go slow so your body has a chance to resume producing it's own steroid-type replacement.  It's been supplemented with prednisone you've been taking for a while and has to re-learn to make it's own.  (That's how my surgeon used to explain it to me when I complained about wanting off of them.  When my CD was active, I too had the same problem of coming off of it once I got to a point.  I ended up shaving the pills to decrease it ever-so-slightly.)

Good luck to you.