Questions about Ostomies

So I have been poking around here on the board for a couple of weeks but I haven't had the nerve to bring up my issues.  I finally have the courage.  Please be gentle.

A little history...I was diagnosed with Crohn's Disease at the age of 10.  I have been treated with various medications (6mp, imuran, azulfadine, prednisone, etc.) and with surgical options (resections X2).  Currently, I am living with a cronic rectal stricture that is treated with balloon dillation about every 3 months.  My gastro has been at me for about 15 years to get a colostomy.  I finally caved in to his request and agreed to talk to a surgeon.  I really only agreed to do this to get him off my back about it.  I had no intention of actually doing it.

At my last colonoscopy, I was informed that my ileo anastomosis (my splice where they reconnected me) has developed moderate crohns disease and a persistant stricture.  Apparently it is at a curve and would be very dangerous to try to force it open.  He said "it needs to come out."

I had a follow up appointment with the surgeon later that week and she immediately said "it has to come out and we need to remove the rectum also."  I was devastated.   That kind of news is tough enough but even worse when you feel healthy.  I have talked with some other people here on the boards and friends with ostomies but I have some questions about logistics of it all.

I got copies of my test results and now I'm totally confused.  The doctors made it sound like I had no choice in the matter.  It was do or die time.  But the reports don't read that way.

I am getting a second opinion on my situation from medical professionals but I want to get some personal stories that people live with ostomies.  Please forgive my simpleton questions.

Where is an ostomy located?  Right, left, hip, abs, etc.

How big is it?

Does it hurt?

Does the bag go under your clothes or over your waist band?

Thanks for the patience with me.  I respect you all for your openness about your ostomies.  Even though I don't know you, I think you are all very brave people.

I'm fairly new to the ileostomy world...as my surgery was three weeks ago tomorrow.  I had a severe case of UC and I am just so happy it's gone!  The recovery from the surgery has been annoying b/c I'm impatient with having to take it easy.  : )  However, for me, any kind of life without UC is the life for me.  I find the ostomy a small price to pay for cure of my disease. 

When we first decided I needed the surgery ASAP, I was given a sense of hope I hadn't realized I had lost.  Then once the surgery was scheduled I was giddy for a few days then devestated about every other day until the surgery.  : )  I was an emotional wreck!  However, the day I was released from the hospital I was absolutely hyper and bouncing all over the place!  I completely over did it and was in a lot of pain the following days and needed a stronger pain medication.  : ) 

Now that I've gotten the hang of the ileostomy...which I call my 'accessory'...it's not really a big deal.  I'm still sore and swollen so it's a little difficult for me to wear my normal clothes, but I know it won't be a problem once I'm completely healed.  : )

I completely understand your concerns and I am so happy you're asking questions!  Continue asking as you think of them...and no question is silly!!!  I asked every question you could think of from expectations from the surgery to how soon can I get my nose ring back!  So please ask away!!!