wish my scar was not there................ help

of those of you how are of a average weight/thinner and like look sexy . does your scar make you feel bad about your self..

how big is your scar. mine is like 9 inches from breast to pelvic bone and i hate it. but i still want to just be me and wear my bikini this summer. but on the other hand it looks awful. do you guys just show off your scar or hid it.. and what does your husband really think about it. does it turn him off. i know i wear tiny night gounds and when we have sex i will take the top down and so that the gound will hide my scar in the middle if that makes sence.. anyone else feel like i do.. and or what do you feel about it..

I agree...you should look at these as battle scars that have allowed you to become healthy again. My 18 year old, who is at a very impressionable age with dating, shows them off to anyone who will look and everyone, including the girls, are in awe of him and what he has been through!

After numerous surgeries, one so bad they left it open to drain (gaping scar) and now after an ostomy and developing a hernia ( WAY bigger than my boobs) I hear what you are asking. I was thin, a dancer when I was younger, and basically was proud of my body and took care of it. It is devastating. I felt as though I was mutilated. For some it takes longer. I got in touch with a a therapist that specializes in body image, which helped a lot. Yeah, they say you can do ANYTHING and wear anything you used to do but sorry. You can't in some cases. I am sorry if I SOUND like a Debbie Downer. I am trying to refigure a life. I do have to say my guy loves me AND desires me. That should be a given. You just have to work on yourself. I have learned I can not go back to normal but to figure out a new normal. It's a journey that's hard, but I am getting there. Good luck. I wish it were as easy as some ...

Im currently doing Aqua Fit with people MUCH older then me (im 32, most are in their 50-70's). A gentleman in our class has a abdominal scar, earily close to what my scar looks like. I walked up to him and said "I have the EXACT same scar" He looked me up and down, put his arm around my shoulder and said "we have to stick close, there aren't to many of us out there." Im ok with my scars, they are my medals of courage. And this is coming from someone who is so vain(I am!!), she quit smoking NOT because of all the health reason's but because smoking gives you wrinkles.

-Allie
www.oscartheostomy.blogspot.com

mommyphotographer
Hi, well for me I just got my total colectomy in Feb, and I live alone and don't have a boyfriend.  So those thoughts have ran through my head....but I know just how big the scar is and my belly button is kind of off center and funky looking.  To me this scar is the one I am proud to have because this is what changed and saved my life.  So I don't care what anyone says or does not say because it means life to me.

If your husband loves you he will not mind either.

My best to you

Leslie

I still feel new at having a scar. 6 kids and no stretch marks has made me like the flat smooth stomach I had. Now the scar which goes from belly-button down is rather ugly to me. But I liked all the answers about a badge of courage and the symbol of saving my life. OK I'm old but I can change and be better, so I will think like you guys who are proud and undaunted by it all.

Thanks for your good attitudes

I view mine a battle scars and they've gotten uglier over the years:( They don't bother me, so if they bother someone else, it's their problem...and my hubby has no issues with them!!

I have seen some who will tattoo theirs...is that an option for you?

mommyphotographer
     So you live in Mich.?  What part?  I use to live in Roseville before my dad moved us to Oregon in1967.  I was wondering the same thing.  The way my stomach is cut I don't think that mine will ever tighten up.  But during this whole process of being ill before the surgery I have lost 115 and I am 5'10 and weigh now 133, so I know everyone will do the math and yes oh yes I need to loose weight.  I had gained the weight through being bed ridden for a year and from being so ill for so long that I never got any exercise.  I have never been so heavy before but it happened.

I have a question ?  How do you put your diagnosis at the bottom?  Do you have to type it in every time or is there a way to do it that it automatically puts it in?  That is why no one has really seen all I have been through, and its too long to do every time.

Be well and good luck with your tummy....

Leslie  

I had UC for 15 years and then in 2005 had partial colon removal and had a blood clot in the chest. Took 2 surgeries to have all colon removed. May 2006 had J-pouch connected and have had to deal with hemmoroids, bleeding, swelling and pain when going to the bathroom. My trips to the bathroom were between 20-25 a day. Ouch. And very tiring. Last year I found something that worked and stopped all of the above symptoms and the trips went to 7-8 times a day and sleeping at night. Wow is all I can say. Relieve found me for about 8 months then I stopped taking them. Over the last 5-6 months all of the symptoms came back. Seen the GI surgeon and cannot explain why I am having these problems as everything seems normal. Apparently I am not the only one having these problems and cannot find a reason for it. Options were to have bowel rest for 3 months with an illestomy or permanent illestomy. That is out of the question for me. So I decided to try again what I was on last year and have been on it a week and so far hemmroids are shrinking, trips to bathroom are 7-9 times a day, sleeping better and no pain. What more could I ask for.

I look forward to speaking with others with similar situations.
email addy removed for safety

I live in Nova Scotia
Holly


Hi Holly, it's best for your own safety not to put your email addy in a public forum message. If you want people to be able to email you, add your email address to your profile and direct people there to obtain it. Otherwise spammers can harvest your email from a public message (they can't from your profile though)... Shaz

Post Edited By Moderator (Shaz032) : 3/19/2010 10:07:35 PM (GMT-6)

Honestwoman50 said...
How do you put your diagnosis at the bottom? Do you have to type it in every time or is there a way to do it that it automatically puts it in? That is why no one has really seen all I have been through, and its too long to do every time.

If you go in under Control Panel --> Edit Profile you can add your signature down the bottom. Note: signatures are to be no more than 10 lines long (including blank lines) under the forum rules.

Thank you so much. I did change my profile so me email is visible there. Thanks again. Shaz032