Becellea, I'm so sorry you're going through this, especially as a single mom.
Some of us chose to have surgery, and some of us had it done in an emergency, but the bottom line is, having an ileostomy is so much better than being sick. I had active Crohn's for 7 years, and that was enough for me, so I chose to have surgery. That was 4 years ago, and I love my new, healthy life. I do not take any medicine and have lots of energy.
The other thing to consider is that the longer you keep the diseased intestine, the higher the risk is for developing cancer. Removing it removes that risk.
Good luck with your appointment on Monday, and please ask us any questions you may have. We're here to help!
Cecilia