Thank You All And Thank You Collicat.

I havent been on here in quite a while. But i thought id drop by, i wanted to say thanks to everyone and a big thanks to Collicat. Back when i was going through all of the treatments and surgeries you've been here with great advice and was someone to talk to."as has everyone"

--Span of my life--

Hello, my name is Adam Williams, I am almost 17; sept 30th. I lived with UC for 3-4 years before having my colon removed, during my experience with UC ive been through alot. its not easy and it never will be, all the drugs and treatments; constant GI visits and emotional heartache, to me this is has changed my life, i have so many stories i can tell from my experience, some good; some bad.

I went through a three stage total colectomy operation. Once i had my ostomy i was happy, i loved life and spent the time i had with it with my family and friends. Its was the time my parents could take a small break from worrying about me, they enjoyed that i had my ostomy and were so happy i lived my life once again without pain. Sure living with an ostomy is something different, i didnt use the bathroom the same, i had to empty a bag but i didnt care, if anything i thought it was kinda cool to live with, my friends and family supported me, but it was short lived, after some time i went in for my final surgery.

The connection of my J-pouch and the removal of my stoma.

I was somewhat excited because i finally made the choice to move on to get a j-pouch, i could of had an alternate surgery so i could keep my stoma/ostomy but i couldnt let my parents down, they wanted me to try and live a "normal" life without it. so i agreed.

After i was released i moved on in life, i was using the bathroom 10-14 times a day, but they said it would shorten after time, i needed the j-pouch to adapt to my body. i learned what i can eat and what i cant. No more corn. haha.

Now its been almost 10 months after the final surgery, i use the bathroom 8-11 times a day. Not much of a change but i learn to adapt so i know what times i usually need to go, i learned my limits on what i can and cant do. how long i can hold it. I do have leakages everyday, i eat just enough to get by managing my weight "132" which my doctors are pleased for me to maintain. but there are certain times i start to get a increase of BM and i stop eating, i know its bad i should ever stop suddenly because of that, i just do.. i normally drop 5-15 pounds when that happens.

My parents had me put on a list for possibly suicidal, pretty much everyone keeps a more look on me to make sure i dont try anything again.
i was going to go abit more into depth but due to the rules i will not. Just know i am getting proper help to control stress and my emotions. Doesnt seem to work much but it keeps me busy. checking in etc..

I gave up on relationships because i dont want to depend on someone to be there for me, never works in the end, the last girl i dated was only with me because she felt bad for me, so i just remained an outcast. i have 2 friends i go to, one that helps and has been always there to talk if i need anything or want to vent, and one well.. He isnt real, i have to realize that but i still like to think he is. He's helped me more than i can have done on my own. No one knows about him. I fear that if someone was to find out that they would take me and put me back into a mental hospital for evaluation. Im only telling you all because well. It's nice to know atleast someone knows, even if i dont know any of you in real life. Only over the internet.

As much as i hate to say it depression has been something thats came out of all this, i know a few months back i was wanting my ostomy back, id cry night after night wishing i had it back, now i dont know whats what. ive came this far, ive done so much, to throw it all away; well isnt an option now. even if it is hard.




this is just an update on me. i dont know how often or if ill be back on here. but i wanted to say thanks incase i never do again. If anyone wants to contact me you can reach me at my 2nd skype account "not personal one" David-Martin810. the name will be AdamWilliams.

But ill check back later today, after that. Who knows.

Adam Williams
David Martin

Ditto - you are still young and 10 months is early days - you have a great life ahead of you. take care.

Cathy,

im working on trying anti depressants, ive talked to the doctor im seeing and she also thinks it would be a good idea to give it a try. my mom on the other hand well.. she doesnt think im doing all that bad, she just see's me as going through a rough time and it'll pass soon. Ive snapped at her twice, as much as i have hated to but its the only way to get her to listen. most of the time she'll just forget about it.

My father got back a while ago, around 2nd surgery, he's been here and listens to what i have to say, he's the only reason ive been able to get some help. he travels up to the pentagon for work in DC. leaves 4am gets home around 6-7pm. so he's out most of the time. but im glad he's back. i think its helped alot.

ill be talking to my doctors and "medical group" in a month or two, they'll check everything and see how im doing, it'll be the main chance to say if i want to go back or live on. i dont know what i want to do though. but like you said ill have an option to return anytime.

and alright, ill check in on the forum every other day or so, id be glad to help anyone if i can, but for a little while ill just be focusing on myself.

thank you.

Adam,

I have been thinking about your situation with your mother.

I believe she is in a bit of denial and I think that is just human nature. As a mother, your children are everything to you and it kills us to see them in pain (whether emotional or physical). I think it is our defense system to believe things are better than they are. Is there anyway that you could convince her to go to your meeting with the doctor you are seeing. Very often having an impartial person present will help to keep your conversation on track and might help her to see what is really going on with you.

I have also found that it helps to write down all the thoughts that you want to convey and give them to the person in the form of a letter or e-mail. So often, a conversation that is important to us can get off track due to heated emotions. Maybe you could give her a letter, tell her you are going out for a couple of hours (without your phone) and give her time to absorb what it says….then come home and sit down with her and hopefully both of you can calmly talk from your heart?? Just remember that I am sure she loves so much and how much concern she has…you have already made numerous comments that have impressed me on how you empathize with her….just don’t lose sight of that.

Anyway, these are just some thoughts.

And yes, I think it is so important right now to just keep focusing on yourself….you are a very wise 16 year old!