Three days post take-down and horribly depressed and disappointed

Oh and get some coconut water. It will hydrate you really well and restore you potassium levels which helps with energy. I drank a lot of this after surgery and now after work outs. It is soooooo good for you and really tasty!

Bets, Rosemary, and all,

I fell asleep last night quite well and woke up strangely dreaming that I'm suppoesd to push every out of my rectum and that is exactly what was happening. That was the first trip to the bathroom, then I woke two more times with leaks before the sun was up, and i think one more time before the nurse started the rounds. I am not eating that much and don't know why this is so often. The immodium seems tohelps sometimes and sometimes not. I don't even know if I should say it's leaks. It is not as if stuff comes out because the pouch got too full, but that it starts coming out as soon as something is in the pouch.
This is upsetting me greatly. I am afraid to go home from the hospital because Ilive alone.

It is like I am not getting the hang of how it feels when I have to go, and then it's out too fast anyway, so it is not as if I even get the chance to try to hold it in with the muscles. I often have this feeling as if stool is partially coming out of my rectum, which I don't have anymore, the stuff is really right there if it is there at all.
I would also like to be dating, but it seems this big aspect of life has to be put off for months again.

B'D,

I too live alone and I know TOTALLY where you are coming from. It is scary to live alone and have a health issue no matter what it is. Maybe have a close friend or relative come and stay with you for your first week home? Or at least ask someone to check in on you through the week? or Visiting nurse if you have them there in Germany?

With the new issues I have been having with my stoma which has worked so well for so many years I know I am terrified when I go to bed at night that I will back up or something in the night. But so far so good as long as I go to bed without any food in me.

It sounds like your inner pouch IS working and count your blessings in that regard. Beats having it not work. Though I have no experience with a take down it really sounds like the rectal area muscles are just so out of practice that they don't quite exactly know what to do. I bet in time they will get used to how to hold and so on. It would be freaky for a body to be without use of rectum for so long then have the rectum back in the picture. More time and maybe a friend or relative or hired person to see you through this after you leave the hospital.

Let the dating thing be the last of your worries. That takes energy that people without health issues have to work at, so unless a close date-type friend is already in the wings, I would not worry about this yet. Focus on you. Wish we could be with you in person rather than just through cyberspace but know that we are with you in spirit.

Rosemary

PS I used to dream of pooping rectally and I never can. So I think the subconscious does what it does. Yours is a dream come true

The surgeon and the station doctor told me my muscles are fine, I can control them, but the nerves that react to the full rectum and tell the muscles what to do have to get the hang of things again. They said that 99% of the time this does happen.
Yesterday was bad and good. Afriend came and we went for a walk outside. My pouch emptied itself somewhat, and I only noticed a warm, itchy feeling. I got backupstairs and washed and changed, etc. The the rest of the day changed. I could feel my pouch filling up and got to the toilet. Of course I am going a lot, so it was another 7 times until I went to sleep and then 2 or 3 times in the night, but even then I woke up before it was a dire emergency and went to the toilet.
I think what is happening is taking slightlymore immodium, it slows things enough.

So: Maybe my dreams really willcome true, Rosemary.

Crosby I had a stoma and bag for just about 12 months.

I'm out of here tomorrow. I could have gone yesterday but the station doctor wanted me to wait until I could talk to my surgeon, who is to set me up with a knowledgalbe GI in my neighborhood. There also doesn't seem to be much need for beds here at the moment...
Everyone here is telling me that the adjustments and adaptations have a completely different pattern and time frame for each person, and that I should be more patient.
I would be glad if it gets down to 10 times a day by the time I get back to work, and that I will mostly have a feeling I am in control.

I ordered a bidet bottle online, for when I go back to the office.

Was hoping none of this is discouraging or demotivating to you regarding the new relationship. I'm glad I am not seeing anyone at the moment. There's a few months of all this regulating itself in which I can lose weight and ride my bike in this gorgeous weather. So while I couldn't date anyone new at the moment, I have time to feel better about myself before I meet someone I like. (At the moment the only man I think is cute enough is Olaf my surgeon ))

Thanks Marianne!
My apartment was a disaster when I checked in last Monday and I am busy writing emails now to find a cleaning person who could come tomorrow afternoon or Tuesday. It's just about dusting and cleaning the floor etc but I know I do not want to do it myself this time.

Another nice thing is that as of last night, I can sleep on my stomach or either side with one knee raised, so most comfortable. Too bad I have to get up two or three times. What time do you stop eating at night? Right now it looks like I can have lunch and that's it.

They feed us the evening meal at abut 5:30 or 6 in the hospital and I have to get up 2-3 times. That is why I want to stop eating at lunch. Maybe just graze healthily at my desk until lunch, eat lunch around 1 or 2 and then quit food til the next day. It is not very social, but I could imagine losing my mind from all this interrupted sleep. Also noticed in the last week that every night I'm dreaming dreams that are like detail-perfect novels with complex plots and ´sub-plots. Then I'm awake and have to get to the loo. Then I get back to sleep and it continues to the next poo...
4x a day would be easy to deal with.
Since the sun came up until not around 3 pm, I've only at 3 bm's, not bad, but let's see what the pouch comes up with in a few hours. I may skip the meal later but it is really not worth eating anyway.
My apartment, where I live alone, has an upstairs and a downstairs. Of course the bathrrom is downstairs and the bedroom is upstairs. Let's see how that goes. I knew it would be an issue when I took the place but I wanted to think about years and not months.

I hope I will be saying that in a few months!
I kept saying that I felt fine and the colitis was just a bit of the runs but when I realitically look back, I have to confess that I lost nearly two years and the last year and my new job was completely conditioned by these three surgeries and my body feeling with the bag (I stay in much much more).
I have pretty much accpete dhtat I may be home for 3 weeks and not 2, but I do have to have continence when I go back to work.
Am trying to guess what I can do in the next weeks. Someone asked me to help with a Passover seder on the 2nd night, in a bit less than 2 weeks. I don't know if I will be able to sit around a big long meal or if I want to be at their hourse when still needing to use the bathroom all the time.

My butt hurts. Having a jpouch feels like your rectum is full all the time.

and the bloated, lop-sided belly too?