Is it normal to feel deep sadness, dread and second thoughts weeks away from surgery?

You would have to be deluded not to feel frightened.
The disease is not going to get better. Imagine the last flare being twice as bad. Do you see yourself going through that?
Try to see your decision as self-determination, which is what it is, rather than living at the mercy of increasingly risky drugs just to hang on to an organ that is never going to be healthy. This surgery is radical and honestly who wants to be cut open? Waiting on the other side is life without the disease.
If you want, have another doctor look at your file and give a prognosis.

Excellent points, excellent points. I need some sort of zen self-hypnosis to get myself in the right frame for going into surgery. I am proud that I have managed not to cancel a second time yet but still worried that I just won't be ale to sign the consent forms. Steroids are not the answer I know- it is trying other things without steroids that floats around in my mind... But I have to keep reminding myself that it is a pipe dream. If UCeris has been out a few years ago I would have had much less cumulative exposure during flares and more time to keep trying but the clock has run out. Just trying to get into a more positive frame if mind, that's my main hope.

I was lucky: I only had a two-week wait for my surgery. And it was not a fun time. I was edgy, hyper, restless. I was very worried and nervous. But if it makes you feel any better, I did not wake up instantly regretting the operation. I have had my moments of 'what if?', wondering if I should have tried this or that. But for the most part I believe the operation was the right choice. You could spend literally the rest of your life haring down one alternative therapy path after another, suffering all the while because you are not in remission - or ruining your health by remaining on Pred. There is no end to the number of "natural" diets, "natural" supplements, and so on, and most of them are codswallop. I wasn't even prepared to consider that. There are one or two things I do slightly regret not trying, but on the other hand I doubt supremely much they would have done anything - so it is not a serious regret.

It does not seem like you have anything left that you seriously want to try that you haven't yet tried, but are clutching at straws now. This is understandable. Your fear is totally understandable, but that does not mean that surgery isn't the right choice.

I am so happy I only had to wait a week from consult to surgery date. It was a whirl wind! But if I had a month or longer to think about it, that would have made me bonkers! It's totally natural for you to have these thoughts during this waiting time. I would have too only there was no way I would have cancelled my surgery...I was just too sick and I knew I didn't have a choice. Concentrate on the positives....you will never have to worry about a UC flare ever again. I would joke with everyone that I would never have to have a colonoscopy again. I still get excited over that almost 3 years later! :)

I think it is totally normal to be a little apprehensive. It is a huge decision but you have definitely done your research. I was a little different in that I was not dreading surgery. My biggest issue was that I had just narrowly escaped emergency surgery in the hospital with an infusion of Remicade that healed me up but gave me excruciating joint pain. Though the Remicade side effects were horrible and I couldn't take another infusion, the one dose bought me time to line up surgery with an amazing colorectal surgeon a month later. However, he wanted to avoid doing surgery if I was in a bad a flare. Every day I hope that the one infusion of Remicade would hold me over and that I wouldn't slip back into a flare that would postpone the surgery. I remember being so relaxed when I finally walked into the hospital because I knew I had made it and that my colon would finally be gone. That said, I did go through a grieving period after the surgery but it passed as I came to accept to my newly changed body.

I can honestly say with 100% certainty that if they came out with a cure tomorrow I would have absolutely no regrets that I have an ostomy. I feel so amazing with it and even the last two years of health without UC would be totally worth it.

And I second what Suebear says. Prednisone is nasty. It can be an absolute lifesaver in short-term situations-- but to be on the higher doses often required for UC on a long term basis is asking for trouble. My doctors would never prescribe it for very long due to this. I wasn't even on it that much in the grand scheme of my UC history and ended up with one of the worst possible side effects, avascular necrosis (AVN), in my shoulder. I took two month-long tapers of 40mg prednisone-- one in 2007 and one in 2008-- and then in 2010 I had to be put on a high 80mg dose in the hospital during my final severe flare when I was in really rough shape. That high dose took a few months to taper off. That was all it took for me to develop the side effect and it showed up two years of putting the last bit of prednisone in my body! Fortunately things have been manageable with the AVN because I only have it in one shoulder, but if I ever develop it in the hips or knees... it is going to have far greater impact on my outdoor-loving lifestyle and life in general than permanent ileostomy surgery ever will.

For me, the prednisone dependency was the final straw. When I shattered my arm like glass, I knew the surgery was the absolute right choice. Think about what it's doing to your body and what it will continue to do. Yes, it's scary. But being healthy and off the worst drugs will be so much better.

Mine was an emergency surgery but given the choice to actually book the surgery, I would have done it the sooner the better.

I know you find it hard to believe right now, but you are going to feel soooo much better! We went to a Sugar Shack (where they make maple syrup) yesterday for Easter brunch. We go every single year and every single year, I can't eat when we go and end up running across the property to go to the bathroom.

This year, totally different! I ate everything at brunch, ham, eggs, pancakes and the spicy maple mustard that I have been dying to try for 5 years and let me tell you....it was sooooooo good! And we were there three hours, ate, walked around, took a horse and carriage ride and I used the bathroom ONCE before we left.

You will be so happy once it's all done!!!

Pro - I had about six weeks to think about my decision. I went from being super excited to doubtful (especially when a pseudo remission kicked in). I told myself all the things others had mention...my remission was Pred and Full dose Remicade. I was done with those. The night before surgery I was so nervous and scared. I'll be nervous and scared before step 2 I'm sure.

So yes, everything you are feeling is normal and it's ok.

Its been 5 months since my surgury and I can finally say that I am recovered.  All systems are a go and functioning at peak performance. I can eat just about anything I want, I sleep through the night, I can wear all the clothes I did before the surgury, and I have lots of energy.  But the best part is this....the black cloud I was living under with the UC is GONE !  Think of life with UC, then think of life without it.  Which life do you really want to live ?

I had almost 6 months between my decision to have the surgery and actually having it.  In that time, I did tons of research, went to an ostomy support group, watched dozens of YouTube videos on bag changes, sent away for samples of bags and other related supplies, and even created a special area in my linen closet for all my supplies.  Man, I was ready in every sense of the word. 

It took several weeks post surgery for me to figure out methods and techniques that worked best for me but with the help of my WOC nurse (you really need a good WOC nurse) I now have a system of emptying and changing that I could do in my sleep.

For 6 years I lived under that black cloud and coming to the decision to have my colon and rectum removed was not easy, but from the day I made that choice, I've never had one day of regret.  Yes, I was fortunate that my surgeron was amazing and I really had no complications post op.  Just be aware that recovery will seem to take forever but in reality, if all goes well, its such a short amount of time compared with living with UC.